Something's Gotta Give

Isn't that the name of the last movie Marilyn Monroe attempted to do?

Let's try something new. Let's focus on the positive shall we? So, I had 12 things to complete yesterday. Three were automatically scratched off the list due to the rain. That leaves 9. I completed 6! Not too shabby. Plus I did some dishes...added bonus.

In some magazine, years ago, I read this article about Zen Cleaning (made up for "magazine" purposes, of course), but it really stuck with me. It was about knowing the things that are weaknesses for you, and instead of trying to change then and making yourself feel guilty, you should maybe try to work around them. The article was all about cleaning, like if you're the kind of person that always kicks your shoes off at the door, you shouldn't beat yourself up for not putting them away in the closet. You should live where you "live". Get a basket and put it by the front door to keep it a little neater. I actually did this, and it works, at least it used to until all this laziness kicked in. If you constantly have books by your bed piling up from reading at night, then your bookcase shouldn't be in the living room. Put one by your bed. I've used this little philosophy for a lot of things in my life, and I'm about to do it again. I've been sucking at going to the gym at 9am appointments with Ray Ray the Saviour. I constantly miss. But when I used to always have appointments with Aaron the Beast, and Ray Ray at around 4 or 5 pm, I didn't skip all that much. So, I talked to Ray Ray today, and I'm changing it back to 5pm. I really think it will help. I'm not making myself stronger by forcing myself to change my lifestyle, but I am working around my weaknesses. I like that. I think it works. For me.

I took a couple of stress tests this morning. The result of one of them said, "STRESSED OUT. YOU MAY NEED HELP." Another said I had a HIGH susceptibility to stress related illness.

I also took a "depression test". And, yep, I answered yes to all of the symptoms except thoughts of death or suicide...ok, with the answers of all of those tests I need to seriously look into getting some professional help. I just don't have the money to do it right now, but I know I need to. I can usually bring myself out of a depression cycle, but this time it's not working.

Today was the first day in San Antonio, TX where it feels like the wheather is changing. It's obviously not "cold" all of you Northerners, but the air has that feel and smell that always happens around the beginning of Fall. And here, of course, we will have many more days of it being Hot as Hell For the Rest of Your Life, but nights and mornings will be cooler.