"[Big Sister] to the reeescue..."

Yesterday I had this big financial crisis come up when I picked Gabby up from her daycare. I immediately called my mom. We've both been dealing with this daycare that doesn't keep very good records of what you've paid and haven't paid...YOU HAVE TO GET A RECEIPT!!! So, I call my mom, and completely lose it. I cried and cried and cried, and it wasn't even all that big a deal. It definitely wasn't about the money anymore. I felt like that kid from Parenthood who cries of nothing...like going insane when he loses his retainer at the pizza place. Don't get me wrong, the money doesn't make anything any better...it makes my stress levels over the top, but there's so much more underlying stuff that under other circumstances I might be able to handle it better. My mom was very patient...said we'd get together today and talk about it...but I just kind of NEEDED my mom...which is really weird. I have the best mom ever when it comes to some things, but when it comes to talking about "emotional/life" issues...well, I think her problem is she just gets so worried about us, and she doesn't know what to do...so she says things like, "You're just going to have to get over it and get things going, Elizabeth." Which isn't always what I need to hear. So, once again, yesterday, I tried to talk to her about what's going on. I was having a rare moment of, "I might actually let it all out, and let you know what's going on!" But it was ended when she said she had to go, she had a lot of work to do. My mom is the hardest working high school counselor I know. She puts in like 12 - 14 hour days. I just needed her to put that aside for a minute. It was after 5pm afterall.

So, I just needed something so badly, I called my sister, which is kind of hard for me to do. But she took care of everything. Made me feel so much better. She was like, "Tomorrow you're coming out to my work to apply and do the testing, and you have to have lunch with me afterwards, so now you have a date with me, and you can't break it! You will get it done. And right now you're coming to my gym with me, and we're working out!" So, I did. And I did feel a lot better, and then she took Gabby and me to HEB (the grocery store), and bought us some food. Then last night she revised my resume...she sent me proof reading marks to study for the tests at this job, and I can't tell you how much that means to me. She always says things like, "We'll get through this." I love that. Knowing that I'm not so completely alone in my endeavors.

Gabby is home this weekend. JC is coming over tonight. I haven't seen him since last weekend. I need the most gigantic hug in the world! I can't wait! And he's been so helpful, too. His help is just listening to me, and saying that this weekend we're going to be cleaning machines...and he's going to do everything he can to help get my apartment back in order so that I feel better...more organized, one less thing to stress about.

This morning I applied for two jobs in Denver, CO. They're both with the government, which I've been wanting to try and stick with because then I'll keep all the benefits I've already earned from working for the IRS. I'm still looking in San Antonio, and really trying to stay here, but JC and I talked and he said that he couldn't stand being without me, and so if that meant he'd have to sacrifice a little for me to go and do what I need to do, he'd go with me...that's made it easier for me to put applications in outside of San Antonio...to take the best offer I can. I still don't want to take Gabby away from her family here, but in the end, if I can provide for her better somewhere else, then I have to do that.

Hope everyone's weekend is wondrous! Mine will be busy with unfun stuff like dusting, cleaning, whatever...but maybe next week I'll be feeling so much less cluttered because of it! And if it doesn't rain, maybe Gabby, JC, and I can get some pool time in.