Skip to main content

First, a little clarification...

I realized that the way I phrased it when I said that I missed waking up to [JC's] his face, not only did it sound selfish, but it sounded shallow. I did not actually mean the way he "looks", I meant that I miss the happiness and confidence that is in that picture. I love this guy too much to care about what he actually looks like anymore. I mean, of course, I think he's hotter than anything, but even if his bruises were permanent, I would still love him.

I spent all day yesterday at his house. We slept, and then ordered pizza, and then I watched him play a video game. Yes, I am a weird girlfriend that actually likes to do that. Then I took the titches out of his eye. They were starting to fall out on their own, so I just clipped and pulled. It was actually kind of cool. I told him they looked like they were ready to come out a couple of days ago. Then I drove him over to my house while I went to pick up Gabby and his medication.

The day before when I picked up Gabby at my mom's, there were the loudest frogs you have ever heard outside on her patio. I was scared to death. (my most irrational, greatest fear in life is frogs) So, last night it was raining, and I just knew those frogs would be out and ready to get me. So, I called my mom, and told her to just send Gabby outside..and oh, could I borrow Star Wars. At which point I did try walking up her driveway...and there it was...it jumped away from me! The ugliest, brownest, toad you have ever seen. I screamed. My mom said, "Oh, Elizabeth.....(she used my full name)!" I was terrified. Paralyzed with fear. I kept saying, "Please, Mommy!, help me!!!" Yea, it's got to be bad when I start saying MOMMY! Maybe I should be hypnotized or something. This fear is getting out of control.

Speaking of fear. JC freaked out a little bit when we were driving to my house at night. He was kind of ok when we drove to the doctor's office the other day in the daytime. He said something about feeling more comfortable if there were more people than just me with him. It's just going to take a while to get over that feeling I guess. I've had my wallet stolen about 10 times. I've had my car broken in to about 6 or 7. And I know how violated and angry I felt every time. But, can you imagine that happening with violence? It's got to be really hard. And I just feel helpless. There's nothing I can say or do

Comments

Jacq said…
It is such a horrible feeling to have been violated. My purse was stolen five years ago and I still get paranoid about it. It took three months for me to get everything straightened out with my bank account and credit card company.

Popular posts from this blog

Am I Going To Die? I just got stung for the first time ever by a wasp . . . So far so good . . . I can still breathe, I haven't swelled up like a balloon, yet . . . But it hurts and itches like crazy!!! It's almost the end of the semester and I am completely swamped! Two projects, two papers, and three finals, all in the next 3 weeks . . . Somehow I'll handle it. I've actually all of sudden "woken up" where school is concerned. I've been in such a daze for like the last 7 or 8 months. The AOC has changed my life as I knew it . . . in good and bad ways!!! Bad because he takes up too much of my thoughts . . . and I need all the brain capacity that I can get!!! Somehow, after years of barely even talking to anyone at work, and only a couple of years of actually being a little more friendly with my co-workers, I seem to have been sucked up in "office politics" and I HATE it! I used to really like going to work . . . now I just want to quit!! It still...

DIY Faux Brick Wall with German Schmear

Written February 14, 2021, when I tried to start a  WordPress blog , but failed because I'm old and it's too complicated. My estranged (?), separated (?), I don't know what, husband, and I actually worked on this together.  I watched 1,000 YouTube videos and read another 1,000 posts on how to do this.  In the end, I took a little from here and a little from there. The faux brick paneling was bought from Home Depot.   We cut the seams with a Ryobi jigsaw , used liquid nails and a Ryobi nail gun to attach the panels, and used joint compound mixed with a bit of water for the schmear.  It's a perfectly, imperfect technique.  I practiced a little, but decided to just jump in and let the wall take on a life of it's own.  I will warn that the joint compound dries much whiter than you think it will.  Use sparingly if you want to see more brick. Once the wall was finished, I painted the other walls Sherwin Williams Perfect Greige .  Shelves and floor...

Theraputic List

I've been making a lot of lists lately. It's been teraputic, and of course, that's the purpose. Therapy. I'm kind of in a phase where I'm learning to love my body. I mean, I am working hard, and I've lost another 2lbs...but just in case I don't get there, I want to love it anyway. And there are lots of things that I do love about it. It's only been in the last couple of years that I haven't felt very sexy. But 5 years ago, when I weighed the most I've ever weighed, I still felt sexy...I think that had something to do with the boyfriend I had at the time...he thought I was the sexiest thing alive at any weight...it definitely boosted my self esteem. Things I don't like about my physical appearance: 1. I absolutely despise my innter thighs! 2. And...for the rest of my body...the only thing I don't like is my abdomen area...that's always been where I carry the most weight...and I never did lose that "baby stomach"......