I want my dream job to miraculously fall out of the sky and into my lap...today. I don't know how much longer I can continue this job hunting thing before I turn into Patchy McPatcherson and pull out all of my hair! I'm broke, I'm bored with doing nothing all day, I'm broke, I don't want to be in limbo anymore, I'm broke, I want to move forward, I'm broke...did I mention I'm broke? Yea, I haven't paid my electric bill in like 2 months. And all this frustration does is make me super depressed, which begins a vicious cycle of not even WANTING to do anything. I am now working with the State Workforce thingy here in Texas to maybe help me out a little bit, but all they care about is getting people to work as soon as possible without any thought as to what you'll actually be doing, and if you'll actually be happy with that.
I did come across this job for the U.S. Census Bureau for a job out in Maryland. It's a possibility. I'm looking into it. The job announcement doesn't close until January, so I've decided just to fill out the required paperwork, and maybe sit on it for a couple of months. It's a big decision to leave my family behind, to take Gabby away from her family, her father...whom she loves more than anything, her friends, her pool. I'd be leaving all of my friends as well...and my boyfriend whom I love more than anything...It's a big decision...It might be better for me in the long run, but I'm going to try everything I can to be able to stay in Texas first. I would actually have the title of Geographer in this job...no matter what I would be doing...and wouldn't that be awesome if I could actually be working in an environment that I studied my ass for for the last 5 years.
JC asked me if I wanted to think about us living together a couple of nights ago. He mentioned it one day in passing, and then seriously asked me about it the next day. All I could say to him is that I didn't think he was ready for that kind of responsibility, and that I had decided after Gabby's dad that I wouldn't live with someone again unless I was married. It's way too easy for people to walk away and not fight for their relationship if they're just living together. He said that that would come soon afterwards. Hmmm...I thought about it a little more, and told him that we both have leases that won't be over with until March, so, that give us 6 or 7 months to think about it, keep working on our relationship, and make a decision closer to that time. I'll also know, hopefully, by then if I'll even be staying here. I don't know how ready either one of us is to live with each other, but that's kind of relative I guess...maybe not the right word, but my thought is that no one is ever truly ready for living with someone, getting married, or having kids. You could be MORE ready than some other people, but in the end you never really know exactly what's going to happen. And, I think a lot of reasons I think he's not ready for that kind of stuff is because the environment he "lives in" doesn't allow for a different way of thinking about life at all.
Moving on...that's kind of all up in the air anyway...no use making it a top priority right now...My class is over Friday! Yay! Then I will finally be a true college grad.
I've been reading True Crime books lately. Right now I'm reading an Ann Rule book about Ted Bundy. This stuff doesn't do anything for your psyche. It's making me paranoid as hell!
I did come across this job for the U.S. Census Bureau for a job out in Maryland. It's a possibility. I'm looking into it. The job announcement doesn't close until January, so I've decided just to fill out the required paperwork, and maybe sit on it for a couple of months. It's a big decision to leave my family behind, to take Gabby away from her family, her father...whom she loves more than anything, her friends, her pool. I'd be leaving all of my friends as well...and my boyfriend whom I love more than anything...It's a big decision...It might be better for me in the long run, but I'm going to try everything I can to be able to stay in Texas first. I would actually have the title of Geographer in this job...no matter what I would be doing...and wouldn't that be awesome if I could actually be working in an environment that I studied my ass for for the last 5 years.
JC asked me if I wanted to think about us living together a couple of nights ago. He mentioned it one day in passing, and then seriously asked me about it the next day. All I could say to him is that I didn't think he was ready for that kind of responsibility, and that I had decided after Gabby's dad that I wouldn't live with someone again unless I was married. It's way too easy for people to walk away and not fight for their relationship if they're just living together. He said that that would come soon afterwards. Hmmm...I thought about it a little more, and told him that we both have leases that won't be over with until March, so, that give us 6 or 7 months to think about it, keep working on our relationship, and make a decision closer to that time. I'll also know, hopefully, by then if I'll even be staying here. I don't know how ready either one of us is to live with each other, but that's kind of relative I guess...maybe not the right word, but my thought is that no one is ever truly ready for living with someone, getting married, or having kids. You could be MORE ready than some other people, but in the end you never really know exactly what's going to happen. And, I think a lot of reasons I think he's not ready for that kind of stuff is because the environment he "lives in" doesn't allow for a different way of thinking about life at all.
Moving on...that's kind of all up in the air anyway...no use making it a top priority right now...My class is over Friday! Yay! Then I will finally be a true college grad.
I've been reading True Crime books lately. Right now I'm reading an Ann Rule book about Ted Bundy. This stuff doesn't do anything for your psyche. It's making me paranoid as hell!
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