Yea, so, Christmas just isn't very Christmasy this year. Whatever. I didn't even put up the tree.
Tomorrow night is the usual karaoke night for everyone, but of course I haven't gone since JC and I broke up. The first weekend I was recovering from surgery, the second weekend I went out with my friend Fern the Caveman, the third weekend I was in DC, but here it is the fourth weekend, and JC will be out of town visiting his mom for Christmas. So, I am totally going out and having a blast tomorrow night. I got the cutest sequined tank top the other day, and think that I will make my self feel better by jazzing up my appearance more than usual. My mom said she would watch Gabby tomorrow night on the condition that I wouldn't make a face or complain about going to church with the family on Christmas Eve.
The other day when I was a complete wreck...after I wrote that sobbing post...when I finally got offline, Andrea called me up and was like, "So, dude, you're not doing so hot?" And I was like, "Nope, I'm obviously not." And she said, "Ok, sounds like we need some lunch." And it was great. She's not the type of person to give into my emotional rants the way Josh is, but she definitely got me out of my house, and fixed me up for the rest of the day. That's what great friends are for. They fly you out to DC, they take you out to lunch, or they let you lay your head on their knee and cry like Josh does. He's the only one that gives into my emotional wreckedness, and I need that. i also need the people like Andrea and Jess who will give me the practical, logical stuff. That's good, and it makes me stop being a mess, but I do need that person who's shoulder I can cry on, too. My sister is great for that, too, but I feel guilty and like I should have it "together" around her. But wish that I could open up to her more. After all, the day after this break up she was the first person who came right over and sat on my bed and cried with me.
So, when I was going through my friends on MySpace, I came across this picture on this one chick's site, and it's the very last picture that JC and I took together, on Thanksgiving night, about 4 days before we broke up. Kind of made me sad, but today...I've been ok...in fact I was able to talk freely about him with Andrea tonight, and not about relationship stuff either...just regular stuff, and I didn't get those stupid anxious butterflies in the pit of my stomach...I started to ask Andrea about if maybe it was just today, and tomorrow would be bad, but figured I probably shouldn't analyze it, and just go with the flow of whatever I'm feeling on a day to day basis.
Tomorrow night is the usual karaoke night for everyone, but of course I haven't gone since JC and I broke up. The first weekend I was recovering from surgery, the second weekend I went out with my friend Fern the Caveman, the third weekend I was in DC, but here it is the fourth weekend, and JC will be out of town visiting his mom for Christmas. So, I am totally going out and having a blast tomorrow night. I got the cutest sequined tank top the other day, and think that I will make my self feel better by jazzing up my appearance more than usual. My mom said she would watch Gabby tomorrow night on the condition that I wouldn't make a face or complain about going to church with the family on Christmas Eve.
The other day when I was a complete wreck...after I wrote that sobbing post...when I finally got offline, Andrea called me up and was like, "So, dude, you're not doing so hot?" And I was like, "Nope, I'm obviously not." And she said, "Ok, sounds like we need some lunch." And it was great. She's not the type of person to give into my emotional rants the way Josh is, but she definitely got me out of my house, and fixed me up for the rest of the day. That's what great friends are for. They fly you out to DC, they take you out to lunch, or they let you lay your head on their knee and cry like Josh does. He's the only one that gives into my emotional wreckedness, and I need that. i also need the people like Andrea and Jess who will give me the practical, logical stuff. That's good, and it makes me stop being a mess, but I do need that person who's shoulder I can cry on, too. My sister is great for that, too, but I feel guilty and like I should have it "together" around her. But wish that I could open up to her more. After all, the day after this break up she was the first person who came right over and sat on my bed and cried with me.
So, when I was going through my friends on MySpace, I came across this picture on this one chick's site, and it's the very last picture that JC and I took together, on Thanksgiving night, about 4 days before we broke up. Kind of made me sad, but today...I've been ok...in fact I was able to talk freely about him with Andrea tonight, and not about relationship stuff either...just regular stuff, and I didn't get those stupid anxious butterflies in the pit of my stomach...I started to ask Andrea about if maybe it was just today, and tomorrow would be bad, but figured I probably shouldn't analyze it, and just go with the flow of whatever I'm feeling on a day to day basis.
Comments
Merry Christmas, honey, even though I know you feel like shiznit!