...until I go under the knife and have my tonsils dissolved.
I've been letting a lot of little trivial, childish things get in my way lately. All of those things cause the most useless emotions that there are: fear, hatred, anxiety, jealousy, envy...I've had them all 5 times a day for the last couple of months. And, I'm a Cancer, so, I can't very well sit here and say that I'll never have another break down again, but I'm trying and I'm learning, and growing up isn't all that bad.
I had a great Thanksgiving...hope everyone out there did too! I went first to my parent's house, where my mom's stuffing dropped me to my knees. I hung out with my sister and BIL, and Gabby. It was good. My dad wasn't there. He's in CA visitng family, so that was a little weird not to have him there. We always had great Thanksgivings and holidays in my family. My mom always tries to make things really special. Sometimes it goes out of the norm and we have steak and lobster instead of turkey, but hey, that's a good thing right. So, yesterday I had this great memory of a time when I lived at home, and my dad was stationed in FL and my sister had moved to CO, and it was just my mom and me. I was working at some telemarketing sweatshop and had to work on Thanksgiving. I really wanted my mom's stuffing, but we didn't want to do a whole turkey, so my mom made us each a Cornish Game Hen with her world famous...ok, maybe not WORLD famous...stuffing, and we sat in the living room using TV trays to eat before I had to go to work. Then I came home from work, and my mom and I went to see Les Miserables at the Majestic. That was one really great Thanksgiving even though half my family was missing.
After dinner with my family I drove out to JC's stepmom's dad's place...we sat around watching the football game, drinking champagne...I got all googly eyed over the cutest, chubbiest baby in the world that was there...and JC said no more babies for me because I keep getting this biological clock ticking thing that's kind of driving me crazy. I've been a little worried that JC's dad wouldn't like me very much because I have a lot of "things" about me that don't exactly maybe fit his ideal for his son's partner, but I guess it turns out that he's "in love" with Gabby and me. It doesn't matter that I'm a smoking, atheist, unwed mother. He told JC while they were golfing that he did a "good job with this one". He seemed really concerned about my health, and that was really sweet. At the dinner table I caught JC's dad whispering "sweet nothings" into his wife's ear, and JC and I laughed about that one all the way home. We also laughed all the way home about this dumb little song I made up about "driving in the country...", which was brought on by my bubbly headed, champagne induced state. Good Times! JC joked about his dad hitting on me because he was being all touchy feely with me, but he wasn't. He was just super friendly and likes me, which is a really good thing. I think it's really important.
When he walked us out to my car he said something like, "Well, that's what a father-in-law does." That made me feel really good. I guess he can see JC and me being together for a really long time, and I hope that's true. It seems I'm the only one who thinks that there may be some issues, but then that makes me think that maybe I just need to get my head out of my ass. This guy loves me, and I'm crazy about him, and that's all that really matters in the end because "issues" can usually be worked out. Only time will tell I guess, but I really need to start letting myself be happy!!!!
We went out afterwards for some drinks with friends, and then curled up and fell fast asleep. It's just annoying to me that days and nights like that are few and far between. Now, I'm waiting for Gabby to get home from my mom's, and I can't wait to kiss her super cute, plump, freckled cheeks.
I've been letting a lot of little trivial, childish things get in my way lately. All of those things cause the most useless emotions that there are: fear, hatred, anxiety, jealousy, envy...I've had them all 5 times a day for the last couple of months. And, I'm a Cancer, so, I can't very well sit here and say that I'll never have another break down again, but I'm trying and I'm learning, and growing up isn't all that bad.
I had a great Thanksgiving...hope everyone out there did too! I went first to my parent's house, where my mom's stuffing dropped me to my knees. I hung out with my sister and BIL, and Gabby. It was good. My dad wasn't there. He's in CA visitng family, so that was a little weird not to have him there. We always had great Thanksgivings and holidays in my family. My mom always tries to make things really special. Sometimes it goes out of the norm and we have steak and lobster instead of turkey, but hey, that's a good thing right. So, yesterday I had this great memory of a time when I lived at home, and my dad was stationed in FL and my sister had moved to CO, and it was just my mom and me. I was working at some telemarketing sweatshop and had to work on Thanksgiving. I really wanted my mom's stuffing, but we didn't want to do a whole turkey, so my mom made us each a Cornish Game Hen with her world famous...ok, maybe not WORLD famous...stuffing, and we sat in the living room using TV trays to eat before I had to go to work. Then I came home from work, and my mom and I went to see Les Miserables at the Majestic. That was one really great Thanksgiving even though half my family was missing.
After dinner with my family I drove out to JC's stepmom's dad's place...we sat around watching the football game, drinking champagne...I got all googly eyed over the cutest, chubbiest baby in the world that was there...and JC said no more babies for me because I keep getting this biological clock ticking thing that's kind of driving me crazy. I've been a little worried that JC's dad wouldn't like me very much because I have a lot of "things" about me that don't exactly maybe fit his ideal for his son's partner, but I guess it turns out that he's "in love" with Gabby and me. It doesn't matter that I'm a smoking, atheist, unwed mother. He told JC while they were golfing that he did a "good job with this one". He seemed really concerned about my health, and that was really sweet. At the dinner table I caught JC's dad whispering "sweet nothings" into his wife's ear, and JC and I laughed about that one all the way home. We also laughed all the way home about this dumb little song I made up about "driving in the country...", which was brought on by my bubbly headed, champagne induced state. Good Times! JC joked about his dad hitting on me because he was being all touchy feely with me, but he wasn't. He was just super friendly and likes me, which is a really good thing. I think it's really important.
When he walked us out to my car he said something like, "Well, that's what a father-in-law does." That made me feel really good. I guess he can see JC and me being together for a really long time, and I hope that's true. It seems I'm the only one who thinks that there may be some issues, but then that makes me think that maybe I just need to get my head out of my ass. This guy loves me, and I'm crazy about him, and that's all that really matters in the end because "issues" can usually be worked out. Only time will tell I guess, but I really need to start letting myself be happy!!!!
We went out afterwards for some drinks with friends, and then curled up and fell fast asleep. It's just annoying to me that days and nights like that are few and far between. Now, I'm waiting for Gabby to get home from my mom's, and I can't wait to kiss her super cute, plump, freckled cheeks.
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