Dysfunction Suits Me

Today has been really good. I was up at 7am after falling asleep at 5am because of this stupid muscle I've pulled in my neck! Ouch! I just couldn't find one position that I wouldn't be hurting in. Gabby had a great Christmas morning. Santa Claus brought her a Nintendo DS. So that's been exciting. We're about to have a family dinner with prime rib roast, and then I'm going to take Gabby to her dad's. Then...I'll go home I guess. I don't have anything to do tonight, but I should probably stay home anyway. I need to do some laundry, and I need to leave around 8am to drive to Dallas. Call me Schwenk! I miss JC something crazy! I know, it's silly, sappy, and weird, but I just miss him when I can't even talk to him on the phone. Hopefully I'll make it back here when I get back from Dallas on the 27th. JC and I have another Christmas party on the 28th. This has been a very full, eventful holiday season.

I'm over at my parent's. Gabby went to church with Mom and Dad. I'm waiting for my sister to get here. I need to wrap one more present for Gabby...I'm licking all the left over homemade carrot cake frosting out of the bowl. JC left me, and is in Dallas. Miss him. I'm leaving on the 26th to drive out there. JC and I went out a lot the last couple of days. His little brother was in town, and we met up with him a couple of times. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me this week, but I definitely didn't behave as I normally would. I said things I shouldn't have, I acted in ways I shouldn't have (don't get any dirty thoughts...it wasn't that kind of "acting"!). I slept wrong the other night, and I've had this "kink" in my neck, so I've been self medicating with LOTS of pain pills...and that probably wasn't such a good reaction maker when I was drinking. I mean I was rude to people that I really like, and have ...

I got my very first speeding ticket. I'd say that's pretty good for 11 years of driving, but it SUCKS!!! I had a ticket once when I was 18 for an improper lane change, but other than that, my driving record has been clean! He totally got me, too! I was about 2 miles from my house...coming down a hill, barefoot, with cleavage all over the place because I had gone to JC's work party the night before and spent the night at his apartment. He got me doing 41 in a 30. I was so pissed! He wasn't even SAPD, he was a constable. I have court on Jan. 30. UGH!!! JC: It's actually kind of funny!!! *Chuckles* Me: Is it? Then you pay for it! *obvious annoyance!* JC: Ok, maybe it's not so funny...*head hanging* The party was great...except we got kicked out around 1am because one of the managers got really drunk and misplaced her keys. She ran around the restaurant yelling at people...Screaming, "There's always got to be a thief!!!" She was a little off her rocker...

I got my very first speeding ticket. I'd say that's pretty good for 11 years of driving, but it SUCKS!!! I had a ticket once when I was 18 for an improper lane change, but other than that, my driving record has been clean! He totally got me, too! I was about 2 miles from my house...coming down a hill, barefoot, with cleavage all over the place because I had gone to JC's work party the night before and spent the night at his apartment. He got me doing 41 in a 30. I was so pissed! He wasn't even SAPD, he was a constable. I have court on Jan. 30. UGH!!! JC: It's actually kind of funny!!! *Chuckles* Me: Is it? Then you pay for it! *obvious annoyance!* JC: Ok, maybe it's not so funny...*head hanging* The party was great...except we got kicked out around 1am because one of the managers got really drunk and misplaced her keys. She ran around the restaurant yelling at people...Screaming, "There's always got to be a thief!!!" She was a little off her rocker...

I did cut off my hair, and even though everyone else seems to like it...I hate it. Surprise, surprise. No matter how unclean or messy or anything my hair ever is...people always compliment it when it's long. It's just barely past my shoulders now. I have been to the gym everyday this week! Amazing! That hasn't happened in at least two years. I am very proud of myself. Apparently so is Ray Ray. He tells me everyday, "I'm so happy to see you, Leeiz!"

I'm here at my mom's house for her birthday. Poor mom received an empty box, and a paper doll. Not kidding. My present to her hasn't come in the mail yet, so I cut out the picture, and put it in her card. My sister's present wasn't in the box. It was the last one left and was on display...and they just didn't put it in the box. Hope she at least liked her cake because that's about all she got! Nothing new really going on. Went to an interview yesterday. Had a follow-up interview in the afternoon. I'll take the job if they offer it, but I really don't want it. Me - Receptionist...not going to happen. I'll do it...and I'll do a good job at it...but I DO NOT want it! And parking downtown sucks! On my weekend without Gabby JC and I went to my work Christmas party, and it was fantabulous! We had so much fun! Had a little too much to drink, but that's what you get when you decide to drink the spiked punch all night. We went and sa...

I had another interview with a temp service today that contacted me from getting my resume online. This sounds really exciting. It's for an appraisal company. Of course, I would be doing administrative assistant work, but it's working with a company that deals with land values...which = Geography, Geography, Geography. Could be very interesting. I have to go interview with them on Monday. The temp lady decided to give me some "helpful hints" at the end of my interview with them. She really was trying to be very helpful, but it hurt my feelings, of course. I'm sensitive. She said that she knows I would do a great job...just remember to go in there looking VERY professional...and maybe pull my hair back. Thanks. So, I'm cutting my hair off tomorrow. And, I thought I was looking pretty professional today! Black pinstriped pants...it's cold, so I wore my double breasted suit looking leather jacket...whatever. Time to go shopping I guess. I hate this profession...

My dad has this sign posted right above the computer monitor...it says, "Risk not thy whole wad.". I should really take heed... What's going on, what's going on??? Nothing. Job hunting still blows. Nothing is really coming my way at the moment...which is due to slacking a little on my part...and everytime something decent comes up, there's something wrong with it. It's so much harder looking for a job when you have a little person to support. There are so many other things you have to think about. If I wasn't a mom, I would have definitely taken this job in Austin that was offered to me a couple of weeks ago...but then I have to think about finding a good school, and a good daycare, and what would I do if I had an emergency...and I could live for a hell of a lot cheaper without Gabby...don't get me wrong...this is not a complaint against having Gabby...it's more of just a venting about the differences between people who have children and tho...

...at my parent's again. I'm not quite sure what to say. I write up those darn blogs in my head everyday, but I have no where to put them...and alas they all disappear. I guess I better hurry up and bring my computer over to my dad though, so that I don't lose all my readers and internet buddies. Let's see...what's been going on. JC's face is good...eye finally white again...scar above one eye that's still painful...and then he got his hair cut after Halloween, and there's a scar on the back of his head. I'm beginning to think that the biggest travesty of the whole thing is that it is now like he doesn't exist...you can't believe how hard it is to get anything like a SS card, birth certificate, etc...without having one of those things...it's rather ridiculous. Did I mention Halloween in my last blog? I have pictures once I can get them downloaded. I was Peg Bundy...JC - Barry Gibb...Gabby - a vampire...what is it with kids today an...

Whew! I made it to my parent's house for once. My computer is still down, but it is my fault for not bringing it over to my dad's to get it fixed. It's kind of nice though to not always be so worried about checking my email or what not. I've been pretty busy. I was working my usually seasonal job for the last three weeks. Halloween happened, of course (pictures coming), and I've been interviewing like crazy. I'm going to be looking into temp jobs this week. I got a call from one, and she was going to put me into this once company that I've put in like 12 applications for. So, it might be easier for me to just find a temp-to-hire job. At least then I'll be relatively done with this whole interview crap. I don't even get nervous anymore...I just hate it. I'd rather sit in a bath tub full of frogs. Ok, maybe not that, but something else just as painful... I seriously had a blog written up in my head every single day for the last few wee...

I started off this week with two interviews scheduled. One down, one to go. I think the one yesterday went really well. I met some...um...rather interesting people. One whol told me that he had never interviewed for a secretary position before...he usually works with professionals. Great guy! I thought at first that my interview on Friday was for an internship, but I've done some research, and it is no...it's the most perfect entry level position that I could EVER ask for! I want it, I want it, I want it!!! I would be able to use everything I learned in school, and it's perfect. Except I would have to move to north Austin. WoW! I haven't been here in forever! I had something ridiculous like 400 unread emails when I finally checked today. I will be bringing my dad my computer to fix sometime this weekend. JC looks good...the whites of his eyes are almost back to...well..white. We've had some amazing things and conversations going on...happy, happy, happy...

I downloaded some new update I needed for my computer, and now...I can't get online. I just don't have the patience right now to upload everything again...mess around with my external modem...I just don't wanna!!! JC is so much better. He was given a clean bill of health from the doctor. No permanent damage. The weight just dropped from my shoulders when the doc said that, and I think a lot of it finally dropped from JC's shoulders when he went out last night, and he went to revisit the "spot". I've applied for two jobs in Austin. Both of which I really, really want. They'd both be working for the state. Not too thrilled at the thought of living in Austin, but I could always move to San Marcos or New Braunfels. So, once again, until I get the computer up and running I'm going to have to rely on coming to my parent's house to use theirs. But, it works out better than it did before because I have to be looking for jobs everyday. I just c...

I realized that the way I phrased it when I said that I missed waking up to [JC's] his face, not only did it sound selfish, but it sounded shallow. I did not actually mean the way he "looks", I meant that I miss the happiness and confidence that is in that picture. I love this guy too much to care about what he actually looks like anymore. I mean, of course, I think he's hotter than anything, but even if his bruises were permanent, I would still love him. I spent all day yesterday at his house. We slept, and then ordered pizza, and then I watched him play a video game. Yes, I am a weird girlfriend that actually likes to do that. Then I took the titches out of his eye. They were starting to fall out on their own, so I just clipped and pulled. It was actually kind of cool. I told him they looked like they were ready to come out a couple of days ago. Then I drove him over to my house while I went to pick up Gabby and his medication. The day before when I picked up Ga...

I really want to change my template on here, but can't seem to find one that I like...or if I do find one I like, it always seems really difficult to get it going. I want something 'sunnier', 'shinier'. I'm stalling a little, and don't quite know why. I already dropped Gabby off at my parent's house. Then the plan was to come home, eat breakfast, shower, and head over to JC's and go back to sleep with him. Maybe I just needed a little moment to veg. I had horrible dreams last night. I woke up from one that left me with that scared feeling where you can't move or do anything, and then the phone rang and scared me more. It was JC, and he had just woke up from a really bad dream...he was reliving his whole ordeal, but I was there watching the whole thing...I don't really remember talking to him that much and exactly what he said...I swear we're on the exact same wavelength. It can be really creepy sometimes the way we finish each other's...

This week went by really fast! SUPER FAST! JC looked soooo much better today. I know he doesn't feel better...he's still in pain, and he's really, really angry. But he looks so much better. The bruising is down a lot! And his eyes are back to normal size even if they are still discolored. Just staying in with Gabby tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to take her to go hang out with my dad for a little while, and I'm going to JC's for the daytime. He said if he's feeling up to it he wants to come back here to hang our for awhile. For whatever the circumstances have been this week, I've been eating so much less. I'm super excited about that. I still haven't neccessarily been eating right, but a lot less, and I've been to see Ray Ray twice this week. He kicked my butt today! Three sets of 15 leg extensions with 65lbs. Gabby and I have made a deal...I'll kill the bugs, and she'll take care of the geckos. Yea, we'll see. She was ...

I really, really needed for Gabby to go to her dad's this weekend. She really, really wanted to go. I think JC needs more TLC now than he did when this first happened. Now is when the emotional crap starts to set in, and I don't think he wants to be alone at night. But, well, she can't. Because when I really, really need him...he's just not there. In fact, he gets his ass put in jail because he didn't pay a fine. Great! His mom, Gabby's grandma begged me not to say anything to Gabby. She made it sound like it would be the best thing for her, but really she wanted me to keep it from Gabby because she doesn't want her son to look bad. God forbid he has to take responsibility for something he did! After talking to my mom last night, I've decided not to lie to her when she asks why she can't talk to or see her dad. He made a mistake, and I'm not going to hide that from her. Kids know what's going on...and I think, at least by this age...

I think the events from the last few days has seriously brought JC and me closer together...the weekend we spent together before all this stuff happened helped to do that, too. And I think we look super cute side by side...so here are all the JC/Elizabeth pictures there are in the world. JC seems to always look the same...I'm the one who constantly gets thinner, fatter, whiter, tanner, with different hair. Except when he's wearing his glasses or dressed up for Halloween.

I hate those freakin' geckos! They freak me out. And there it is just lying on it's back. I want it out of here. Gabby seemed interested in it, so when she gets home tonight maybe I can convince her to pick it up and throw it outside since JC can't be here to do all that yucky, manly kind of stuff. I have learned to deal with having to kill the bugs. But I REFUSE to deal with the things that have squishy skin and beady eyes!!! JC's appointment went ok yesterday. They said that the fractured bone should be ok, and just heal on it's own. The doctor was a little worried though that his eyes weren't tracking at the same speed. He wanted him to see some kind of plastic surgeon optamologist. However, the poor guys eyes and eye muscles are swelled up, and he only has one contact in. So, I think he'll be ok once all that heals. The doc said if it was tracking differently then he could have double vision. But last night he got his other contact out, put ...

It was almost exactly one year ago to the day that I became really ill. And now I'm on the other side, taking care of JC. If we make it through this month we'll have been together for a year...and that's even excluding the 3 months we weren't together.

I got a jury summons in the mail yesterday. That really sucks, but I think I can appeal to be exempt because of Gabby. I have to find the strength to go over to JC's today, and keep it together. I think I'm more upset than he is. He's kind of just taking it in stride. Or, maybe it's just one of those phases of "grief". Isn't one of the first ones denial? I just feel so sick to my stomach every time I imagine him getting kicked in the face. I feel nauseous, and like I want to pass out. And I haven't even seen him again, yet, today. I have to apply for a couple of jobs this morning, send off that jury summons exemption, and then I'll head over to his apartment. I'll probably nap with him a little before his appointment this afternoon. My sister and mom have been really helpful. My sister took Gabby last night, and my mom's going to tonight...to watch for a few more hours so I can stay with JC. I never really ask for prayers...instead I just s...