My dad has this sign posted right above the computer monitor...it says, "Risk not thy whole wad.". I should really take heed...
What's going on, what's going on??? Nothing. Job hunting still blows. Nothing is really coming my way at the moment...which is due to slacking a little on my part...and everytime something decent comes up, there's something wrong with it. It's so much harder looking for a job when you have a little person to support. There are so many other things you have to think about. If I wasn't a mom, I would have definitely taken this job in Austin that was offered to me a couple of weeks ago...but then I have to think about finding a good school, and a good daycare, and what would I do if I had an emergency...and I could live for a hell of a lot cheaper without Gabby...don't get me wrong...this is not a complaint against having Gabby...it's more of just a venting about the differences between people who have children and those that don't.
Everything else is just great. My apartment is getting put back together slowly but surely. I have one room left to clean the hell out of. This has been a major task. I have taken out 25 bags of trash...NOT ALL OF IT WAS REALLY "TRASH"...I took the opportunity of cleaning my apartment as an opportunity to do some serious cleansing...so I've been throwing out so much of the junk that we as humans accumulate. I don't need it. I just kept repeating to myself...Do I love it? Do I need it? Do I want it? Have I used it in six months? And of course If I said no to all 4...in the trash all the stuff goes. Gutting my place out has made me cry and cry and cry. It's been like therapy. I'm gutting out all these crappy emotions I've had for the last year along with Gabby's 6 million stuffed animals. It feels great! I mean, seriously, just because I love to buy new shampoo, doesn't mean that I need to have 500 bottles of half used shampoos and conditionors shoved under the bathroom sink...just in case...and just because I feel guilty for wasting them.
So...
1. Clean Apartment...Check
2. Find a job...ummm...working on it...
3. Get back into that gym cycle...this weeks goal...I'm going to take it one day at a time.
Those were the three things I set for myself as goals. The apartment was number one because I've felt so unorganized and messy and not myself and not put together and hell, it was depressing the crap out of me...but energy is being renewed with the gutting of Chez Liz...So...onward with the other two.
The gym is a must, must, must. I have this sweater that is my absolute sweater. It is my oatmeal chunky Victoria's Secret sweater. I love it. I loved to wear it because it was huge and...well...chunky...great color...and it made me feel like some 70's actress...all I needed was a pair of high boots to put over my jeans and a pair of giant sunglasses. It was just so comfy. I tried it on yesterday...it wasn't too small which is a good thing, but..it fit me...I was swimming in it no more. I cried and cried and cried. JC and Gabby thought I was going nuts...plus it was that stupid time of the month...god...I feel so sorry for those two! Anyway...it was kind of a wake up call. You know...for a long while my views, thoughts, opinions on the whole working out/eating right thing were pretty strong. I cringed at people who were seriously overweight and wouldn't take a look at themselves...and then one person made one silly little comment to me about it...trying to make me feel bad for wanting to be in shape...and I somehow let that be an excuse...but there isn't an excuse...no way...I will eventually make my Beast and my Savior proud...Make JC proud...and most of all...make myself feel like myself again. It's about time, don't you think?
What's going on, what's going on??? Nothing. Job hunting still blows. Nothing is really coming my way at the moment...which is due to slacking a little on my part...and everytime something decent comes up, there's something wrong with it. It's so much harder looking for a job when you have a little person to support. There are so many other things you have to think about. If I wasn't a mom, I would have definitely taken this job in Austin that was offered to me a couple of weeks ago...but then I have to think about finding a good school, and a good daycare, and what would I do if I had an emergency...and I could live for a hell of a lot cheaper without Gabby...don't get me wrong...this is not a complaint against having Gabby...it's more of just a venting about the differences between people who have children and those that don't.
Everything else is just great. My apartment is getting put back together slowly but surely. I have one room left to clean the hell out of. This has been a major task. I have taken out 25 bags of trash...NOT ALL OF IT WAS REALLY "TRASH"...I took the opportunity of cleaning my apartment as an opportunity to do some serious cleansing...so I've been throwing out so much of the junk that we as humans accumulate. I don't need it. I just kept repeating to myself...Do I love it? Do I need it? Do I want it? Have I used it in six months? And of course If I said no to all 4...in the trash all the stuff goes. Gutting my place out has made me cry and cry and cry. It's been like therapy. I'm gutting out all these crappy emotions I've had for the last year along with Gabby's 6 million stuffed animals. It feels great! I mean, seriously, just because I love to buy new shampoo, doesn't mean that I need to have 500 bottles of half used shampoos and conditionors shoved under the bathroom sink...just in case...and just because I feel guilty for wasting them.
So...
1. Clean Apartment...Check
2. Find a job...ummm...working on it...
3. Get back into that gym cycle...this weeks goal...I'm going to take it one day at a time.
Those were the three things I set for myself as goals. The apartment was number one because I've felt so unorganized and messy and not myself and not put together and hell, it was depressing the crap out of me...but energy is being renewed with the gutting of Chez Liz...So...onward with the other two.
The gym is a must, must, must. I have this sweater that is my absolute sweater. It is my oatmeal chunky Victoria's Secret sweater. I love it. I loved to wear it because it was huge and...well...chunky...great color...and it made me feel like some 70's actress...all I needed was a pair of high boots to put over my jeans and a pair of giant sunglasses. It was just so comfy. I tried it on yesterday...it wasn't too small which is a good thing, but..it fit me...I was swimming in it no more. I cried and cried and cried. JC and Gabby thought I was going nuts...plus it was that stupid time of the month...god...I feel so sorry for those two! Anyway...it was kind of a wake up call. You know...for a long while my views, thoughts, opinions on the whole working out/eating right thing were pretty strong. I cringed at people who were seriously overweight and wouldn't take a look at themselves...and then one person made one silly little comment to me about it...trying to make me feel bad for wanting to be in shape...and I somehow let that be an excuse...but there isn't an excuse...no way...I will eventually make my Beast and my Savior proud...Make JC proud...and most of all...make myself feel like myself again. It's about time, don't you think?
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