Dysfunction Suits Me

I can't possibly still be in recovery from last weekend can I? Maybe. I'm so freakin' tired. This whole week I've been falling asleep at the drop of a hat. I've actually been able to hang out with JC a lot more than usual this week (He had an extra day off from work due to his Fantasy Football draft...UGH! Whole nother post!...I hate football!). Yesterday he was doing something on the computer and we were talking, but then I just passed out! The day before I told him my eyes hurt and I just wanted to close them for a minute, but I wasn't going to sleep...ummm...but I did. He said I was asleep in like 5 seconds. Fine. I'm tired. But it's wrecking my life, people! I mean come on! How tired can I possibly be? I can't sleep all day! Then I can't sleep at night! I haven't been getting any sleep at night anyway because something is going on with my throat AGAIN! It only happens at night, but I wake up about 10 times because my throa...

-Woo Hoo! I'm going strong now, people!!! Third post today! So, JC went on a four day fishing trip with his boss a month or so ago. He went for the fisherman's beard look. He came home and decided to grow the beard in since he had never done that before. I kind of liked it at first. But JC has very course red hair for his beard which would go up my nose when I kissed him, and it kind of tickled and hurt. It made me not want to do more than peck him. No more making out. So, he shaved it about 2 weeks ago. I was called "the Beard Killer" and Yoko Ono by the people that liked the beard because I said it had to go. Then I found this picture of JC on Becky's website (Becky in the middle...Tybor on the right). He looks really cute! I like the beard, but maybe it's just because he has on my favorite green shirt, and maybe because NOW he desperately needs a haircut, and the hair was good in this picture...maybe it's because I obviously am not kissing him with a b...

I haven't done one of these in a while... 1. Swiss Melt bagels with Scallion cream cheese 2. Victoria's Secret laundry detergent...YUM! 3. Watching DVD Scrubs with JC till 5am...and singing, "I'm no Superman" along with the theme...EVERY SINGLE TIME it starts. 4. Eating at Souper Salad with Josh and Gabby...eating anywhere with Josh and Gabby...I love when Gabby says, "Josh, you're a dork." 5. Sharing a pizza with my sister at California Pizza Kitchen. That's definitely a stress reliever. 6. Going to Rebar with JC on our rare "date nights", sitting on the patio, smoking, drinking, having serious conversations, and fun ones, too. 7. Back rubs from JC after I've been travelling for almost 12 hours straight. 8. The way that Gabby is turning into a sarcastic smart alec like me. 9. Being up before the sun, fucking around, and then going back to bed. 10. Diana Gabaldon 11. Random text messages from my old friend Mando. 12. ...

- I was just online attacked out of no where by the AOC! Weird! We've had a couple of emails back and forth, but maybe only like 5 or 6 since I met JC. It was a really weird conversation, and I was sooooo uncomfortable! So, I got home around midnight last night from Jessica's wedding weekend extravaganza, and extravaganza it was! I think I'll let her go into details on her blog because I'm still recovering and tired. It was so much fun though, and the ceremony was so beautiful. Yes, I cried. I think tomorrow I might have to go sit in a sauna to sweat out all the alcohol. JC picked me up from the airport, and we came back to my house. I got in bed for two seconds, and was just feeling really, really weird. I was exhausted, but at the same time really ancy...had too much to say, too much to do, and just weird. So, I decided I should go along with "the hair of the dog" theory. I thought maybe if we went out and had just one or two beers I would feel...

Well, tomorrow. I won't be here, blogging, for a whole 4 days, and I was just starting to get back in the groove! Got to get packed. I have to buy new pajamas because JC told me I couldn't go in public with my holey ones...no matter how comfortable they are. I'm flying out at 620am. I'm trying to decide if I should go to sleep tonight at all, or just stay up and sleep on my 7 hour flight. I can't finish this. I can't think. Josh is trying to tell me a story about some weird girl at work.

- You go crazy girl! Look at me, I totally switched it up today. I went a little crazy. Instead of the usual Light Plain Cream Cheese I get on my morning bagel...You'll never believe this...I got Scallion Cream Cheese instead! Woo Hoo! I am busy!!! I am tired!!! I am anxious, and afraid I'll never get anything done! But I did get a lot done yesterday. I applied for 5 more jobs. I've been doing about 5-7 a week. Not too shabby. I've still got two more days to complete everything. However, despite all the anciness and stuff...I have felt pretty great the last couple of days. I mean really great. I think I should start keeping a journal for "that time of the month" because after it's over with, I seem to feel great, and then I'm like, "Huh. I was really depressed for about two weeks there. That was probably what it was." So, that tells me I should still look into being medicated because you just can't spend two weeks depressed, two weeks sup...

...and so it begins. It's 1am and I'm still awake. Not tired. I will admit I haven't tried to go to sleep, yet. But I really don't want to. Plus, I'm sure the handful of Reese's Pieces isn't going to help. Sleep, sleep, sleep...precious sleep...I want to sleep!!! I am the worst mother ever. I didn't have any film in my camera for first day of school pictures! Can you believe that??? She looked so freakin' cute this morning, too! In her cargo khaki green pants and green camflauge shirt. She'll mad if I tell anyone this, but she had on camoflauge undies, too! Let's revisit past first days of school... and I won't forget the film again! I am borrowing my parent's digital camera for Jess' wedding. I believe this is first grade. Look at my super tan baby! And second grade. Now there will be no third grade picture. Hmmm...kind of weird, she doesn't have a two year old Christmas picture either. She's already missing whole year...

I couldn't get the rest of the pics to upload in the other post... Me, Rob, and Dre. Good Lord! They may truly be the size of cantaloupes. Mr. Incredible, Becky, and Kevin. I love this pic! Dre, me, and Cory, our Hostess.

Some pics from Saturday night. Rob (Vulture Rob) was very expedient at getting these posted. Andrea getting her karaoke groove on with Eddie the Karaoke DJ. Mr. Incredible and Kevin. Dre and Jesse. Contrary to popular belief, gay boys like big boobs. Michael, me, and Fern. Fern, Chris (JC's new roommate), Michael, me, Rob, and JC with beard. I hated that beard! Half the people we know loved it, the other half hated it. In the end, JC, himself couldn't stand it anymore, so later in the night everyone took a swipe at his face, and I am happy to say that it is gone, gone, gone! And I can see his face again! Sean and Dre got caught...I don't know what the hell this is actually. Rob and Mr. Incredible. Another group shot. That's what that one dude was doing the whole night. Squeezing the crap out of me!

So, I just remembered that in the 30 minutes to an hour that I slept last night I had this crazy dream. I don't remember a whole lot of it, but here's the bad part...I think I was in the drive thru at McDonald's with Gabby, and there was all this commotion going on, and all of a sudden Gabby and I were in the middle of some shoot out between these robbers and cops. Gabby was shot in the head. But it turned out they were just bee bees, but they were stuck in her forhead, and I couldn't get her to a hospital, but she was actually fine, and they eventually just fell out. But I was just carrying her around looking for a hospital, trying to explain to anyone I could find what had happened. I think that was the gist of the dream. Running around like mad, crying, and trying to find ayone I could to help me, but I couldn't find anyone even remotely interested.

These little weird bouts of insomnia that I get from time to time is back. I should have been exhausted last night. I WAS exhausted ALL DAY! But then all of a sudden it was ten and I wasn't even remotely tired. I stayed up reading until midnight. Then tried to sleep. Didn't happen. I willed myself to stay in one place, relax and not move. My mind was going a mile a minute thought, and I couldn't stop it. Then all of a sudden it was 2am. I had to be up at 6 to get Gabby ready for school. I don't know what time I eventually fell asleep but it must have been 4 or something. Then I was up before the alarm even went off. Not tired at all. Wide awake. So much going on in my brain! Like I said this does happen to me from time to time. It usually starts with me being really stressed and having a lot to do so my mind won't calm down, and I'm super anxious and all knotty in my stomach. Then the next night will come, and I'll be so afraid that I won...

-I can never decide if I want an Everything Bagel or a Swiss Melt Bagel. Today, Mary the Bagel Lady, made a comment about how great it would be if they could take an Everything Bagel and melt a slice of swiss cheese on it. Ye! That would be sooooo good. But, she's obviously not going to do it for me, so why did she mention it? Now I will have to suffer knowing that something that delicious is not within my grasp. Today was Gabby's first day of school. And it's official. Gabby's days of wanting to hold my hand, hang out with me, and introduce me to her friends is over. Now I am that mom...just another mom like all the rest. It doesn't matter if I think I'm cool. It doesn't matter to her that I'm not frumpy with a giant Bob Ross afro like my mom. Ok, I take that back, my mom was never frumpy. She was always put together, but she's a teacher so she does wear those Christmas sweater vests. And she couldn't be surrounded by cooler people!...

Did I gain a whole bunch of weight back because I'm depressed? Or am I depressed because of this weight gain? I tend to think it's the latter, but more complicated. Like it has more to do with just the weight. I get depressed when I can't motivate myself...like to lose weight. But, lack of motivation is a sign of depression...it's all a big circle. However, the weight thing makes me cry more than anything else.

Yep. Cysts. I started out with one cyst on my middle finger knuckle on my hand . Then one on my left big toe . I had the one on my hand removed. It has now grown back. The one on my big toe got bigger and bigger...and a couple of more showed up. When they put me on steroids for my tonsils they kind of went away. Now they're back with a vengence. There's LOTS of them! JC says they look like crunchy peanut butter under my skin. The weird thing is that the skin that's on top of them gets all purply and red depending on my body temperature. This is freaking me out a little bit. What if it's cancer? The foot dude wanted to take them out, but I don't have 6 weeks right now to be without the use of my foot. I kind of need it to walk down the isle at Jessica's wedding for one. So, I didn't think it would be a big deal to wait a while because the tests they did on the one removed from my hand said it was nothing. I just figured this was the same kind...

So, it's all completely official and over with. I finished this summer class, and I should be expecting my degree in a couple of weeks. I hadn't been on an interview for a job in 7 years until last week, and I'm really, really rusty, and pretty much suck at it. I rambled and fumbled all the way through the ones I had last week. and whadda ya know...the very first interview I had offered me the job. But I'm not taking it. Too little pay. Way too little pay. Especially doing so much work, and not even liking what it is I would have been doing. I have so much going on for the rest of this week and into next week before I leave for Jessica's wedding. -I still have to go out to this one place to do some applying and interviewing. -Gabby needs to go school clothes shopping. -We have to go school supply shopping. -I have to pick up my bridesmaid dress. -Kitchen must be immaculate before I leave. -A karaoke party at JC's boss' house on Saturday night. -A goin...

I've been trying to keep this blog going...writing something everyday, but I don't have much to say today...So, here, read this article my sister emailed me... Is it true that blondes have more fun? Well, that depends on what your idea of fun is. Redheads have more sex than women of any other hair color, according to new research in Germany. Hamburg sex researcher, Professor Dr. Werner Habermehl, said his new study documented the sex lives of hundreds of German women and compared them by hair color, according to the Daily Mail. Habermehl said that the sex lives of redheaded women were not only more active than women with other colors of hair, but that red heads have more partners and sex more frequently than the average person. "The research shows that the fiery redhead certainly lives up to her reputation," Habermehl told the Daily Mail. He also told the paper that women who dyed their hair red from another color were signaling they were looking for a partner. "...

I posted here . I found an old post I wrote...back when I used to write about the gym A LOT! Shit! What happened?

I'd like to think not, but I sure felt like one this morning. Every morning I take Gabby to daycare and then head over to the bagel shop. Usually I don't think I look all that bad. I mean sure I definitely look like I just woke up, but I throw on jeans and a t-shirt...and I think I have an early morning presentableness. Today...my jeans were in the dryer...yes...my one pair of jeans...that's all that's left to fit me these days (sobbing)...So I this morning I threw on some of the brightest orange terry cloth shorts you've ever seen, along with a gimungous Army t-shirt thinking who cares? Besides Fridays are the days when there are so many people there that the line is out the door. But...I pulled up, and it was a busy ass Monday morning, with everyone dressed to the 9's. The only other people that weren't dressed up were wearing scrubs, so at least they've got titles by their names. But me...me?...all I can claim is that at least I did my laundry...

Why are guys such jerks sometimes? I'm talking about even the nicest guy that you know...sometimes he just does something that makes your mouth hang open because you can't believe that doing or saying certain things would even enter his thoughts...Everyone has that side to them I guess...men AND women, but I'm not dealing with women right now, so I don't care if I sound one sided. I think it's part of their training going back to kindergarten along with all the sound effects they're taught to make. I think in kindergarten they take little boys aside teach them to make perfect machine gun noises and then teach them to randomly make girls feel like shit. Whatever part of the brain it is that females use that makes them more perceptive and more intuitive should be implanted into males at birth. I'm tired of having to s-p-e-l-l t-h-i-n-g-s o-u-t w-o-r-d f-o-r w-o-r-d...If I explain something once can't it...just for once...be remembered? SO...I have a s...

I have two job interviews today. Yesterday I received two phone calls within 20 minutes of each other setting me up with one phone interview and an in-person interview. Both of these positions I just applied for like last Thursday! Both postitions would also have me working at the University that I am graduating from. I would actually really love that. I would be able to be around the "college" environment. It pays shit, but it would be working for the state, and you can't really beat those benefits. I should probably be nervous, right? But I'm not really. I'm much better on the phone than I am in person because I don't have to worry about what my "body" is doing. So, I'll have that phone interview first, and it will be great practice for the live one a few hours later. Do I really, really want this job? No, not really. I feel like I will be settling, and that doesn't make me happy. Especially since I've got Gabby to support, ...

I said a couple of posts ago...a month ago...that I would post the pictures from JC's birthday, and I forgot...so...here they are... JC with "Princess Fiona" and "Lilo". Your first thought of this picture might be that it's some kind of optical illusion, or that "Mr. Incredible" is just really tall. Well, he is kind of, but only about 6 feet tall. Really, "Velma" and "Lilo" are just really that little. JC with Andrea and Chris, rock star shades. JC and me...after being really, really sweaty all night. JC standing on stage while the band Starchild sang "Happy Birthday".

I want my dream job to miraculously fall out of the sky and into my lap...today. I don't know how much longer I can continue this job hunting thing before I turn into Patchy McPatcherson and pull out all of my hair! I'm broke, I'm bored with doing nothing all day, I'm broke, I don't want to be in limbo anymore, I'm broke, I want to move forward, I'm broke...did I mention I'm broke? Yea, I haven't paid my electric bill in like 2 months. And all this frustration does is make me super depressed, which begins a vicious cycle of not even WANTING to do anything. I am now working with the State Workforce thingy here in Texas to maybe help me out a little bit, but all they care about is getting people to work as soon as possible without any thought as to what you'll actually be doing, and if you'll actually be happy with that. I did come across this job for the U.S. Census Bureau for a job out in Maryland. It's a possibility. I'm looki...

Hell is a very painful sinus infection. My nose, face, and teeth have never hurt so bad before in my life!!! I finally found a tailor for my bridesmaid dress yesterday. I called 50 million places and I got the same response every single time..."Just come by. Just walk in. Just bring it by." No matter what question I asked that was the response. Finally I called this random one, Joan's Alterations, I think, and that lady said it was better to make an appointment, and I should make sure to bring all the necessary things with me, like the bra and shoes I would be wearing with the dress. She also asked me if I was taking in the length or size. I said all, and laughed and she laughed with me. So, she just seemed more competent than all the rest. I missed two days of school because of this sinus infection, and I have a test on Thursday! Yikes! Then only one week of this stinkin' class left. Then comes September when they'll finally ship me my degree! I'v...