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What do you think?

I know that my ex-boyfriend is still reading my posts. I have a StatCounter and I can see everytime he's visited, and I had decided that I didn't care. Then all of these weird anonymous comments start showing up, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt...I mean they COULD be anyone, right? The thing is that I'm back to feeling like I did when I was with him, and how I felt even after I wasn't. He would come by here and I never knew if he was hiding around the corner when I would sit on my patio, especially if I had friends over. I love having my sliding glass door blinds open, and because of him I started making sure they were closed. So, now I feel like that again with this blog. Like he's right around the corner all the time. It's been a year people. It's been a year since we even talked! If you can't move on and accept things in that amount of time, I personally think maybe you should get some help. I guess I could turn off the anonymous comment thing, but I don't want to stop other people that I know who post anonymous from being able to. Whatever, he's probably just trying to get to me, and it's not going to work. Except that it makes me feel so violated because of all the other stalking and harrassment that has gone on with him.

I'm struggling to make it to the gym today. I'm seriously PMSing and I just don't want to go. I know I would be in a better mood, and feel better if I did, but it's hard. I've been sort of eating right, though. I cut out my bagels and coffee in the mornings. It's just hard to say no when my boyfriend loves going to Ci-Ci's Pizza buffet before I drop him off at work.

I spent a lot of quality time last night with J.C. and Gabby. J.C. had a surprise, rare night off. The truth is I'm seriously stressed about the whole gym thing, and about catching up on school work, and about not spending enough time with Gabby. I feel bad that this weekend she is going to her dad's and I'm looking forward to a break, but I should't, right? Everyone needs a break. I really need one right now. I will spend almost the entire weekend with J.C. We'll probably go out a lot, and I don't always look forward to that, but as long as we're spending time together, I'll be the happiest person on earth. We'll probably go do Karaoke one night, which makes me fall in love all over again every time he gets up there to sing. Most of all I can't wait to spend two nights in a row with him. I think that's the hardest part. We find a little time to see each other everyday, but I miss being able to curl up with him at night, and wake up to snuggles.

Wow! I think this post may be a litttle random all the way around, but it's early, I'm foggy, and I think I am just stressed, stressed, stressed, and a little bit flustered and angry about the whole ex-boyfriend thing...

Comments

Jammie J. said…
I know the violated feeling well. That's why my blog is password protected. I wish blogspot offered that kind of protection.

Whatever you choose to do, please let me know. I love "visiting" you. :)

You can also look at his immaturity and see how far YOU have come, you know? (hug)
11:49 AM
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