SanDisk
(Do you know that sometimes I can't think of a title for my blog, so I look around the computer desk and just pick a word off anything that may remotely match with what I'm about to say? . . . hmmm . . . today it was completely irrelevant, but the last couple of days have been rough, and I'm TIRED!)
Dec. 25 - I went and saw The Aviator with Josh after I dropped off Gabby at her dad's (after I watched his dad and him try to shoot a squirrel down from a tree with their pellet guns in front of my daughter!!! What was I thinking when I let that man touch me!?) Anyhoo . . . I really, really liked this movie. It had some of the year's best performances. And I swear that Leonardo DiCaprio left the set everyday begging for Advil, and after the movie wrapped I'm pretty sure he needed a hell of a lot of Botox . . . he gave such intense performances with lots of tears and face scrunching . . . I could feel the migraines for him! There was something missing from this movie though . . . just that little something that draws you completely into a movie and makes you fall in love with the characters . . . I'm not sure what to call it . . . but it is a great story and great acting. I had a little bit of a problem watching it because Leo looks a lot like Aaron the Beast (or is it the other way around because Aaron is younger?). When those close-up shots came around Leo would be looking right at me, and I could see Aaron, and he was telling me to stop thinking about cheeseburgers . . . WHOA! . . . a little scary!!!
Dec. 26 - AOC meeting preparing day. I did cardio, tanned, shopped, and then I cleaned like mad until very late at night, and my apartment was shiny and beautiful . . . except for the wonderful smell of bleach coming from the shower (ok, so it was also mixed with mildew spray, Ajax, and some lime away stuff . . . you're not supposed to mix all that stuff, right? Is that why I almost passed out and busted my head in the bathtub?) Talked to the AOC this night, and he said he would call in the morning and let me know when he was going to arrive (he was on stand-by or something). We had a really good conversation, he was very sweet, and told me that I could just tell him if I was panicking, but that I should not just not show up.
Dec. 27 - Waiting for the phone call that's going to let me know when I'm about to meet the person that could change my life for better or worse. No call . . . no call . . . no call . . . so I went to the gym, tanned, and went to HEB. Got home . . . check email . . . yep! He sent an email. I'm thinking cool, he emailed me the times of his flight. NOPE! He's not going to be able to make it out of town. Some last minute stuff came up for his "job", and he has to get it done. If he was telling the truth, it was fine. The stuff he had to do is pretty important, but I'm pissed!!! He should have CALLED me, not emailed. So, my day was filled with laying around and feeling miserable. It was a weird feeling though. It wasn't one that I think I've had before. I kind of felt like crying, but didn't. I was more pissed off than hurt . . . and I just had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had just gone from thhe very tippy tippy top of excitement and nervousness all the way down to the bottom of the lowest dissappointments. I love real rollercoasters, but I'm not too fond of the emotional ones. He called last night, and we talked. And it looks like I should maybe trust him (Oh God! That is so hard!!! My brain keeps telling me, "Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one!").
I'm used to choosing and being around men that follow me like puppy dogs, and get attached right away. It feeds my ego, right? So, when I find someone that I really like that doesn't do these things, I get frustrated, and I don't think that they like me. But I have to remember that it's my past relationships that are the unhealthy ones, not this one. Yes, he should have been more considerate, but I don't want to come across as some psycho, nagging, pissed off, young little bitch. He doesn't owe me anything, ya know? After we meet . . . well, then, it will be easier to tell him when I'm feeling "neglected". But it's really hard to convey feelings and personality, etc. through emails, instant messegaes, and even through the phone. Body language and facial expressions are very important.
Have I rambled enough today? I'm headed off to the gym to do cardio 3 days in a row! Aaron would be so proud! I'm so pissed at him for leaving me still, and maybe actually doing really well, and getting to the point he was trying to get me to, will be my sweet revenge . . . yeah right! He won't give a shit! I forget sometimes that I only have one trainer and probably feel closer to him than he does to me because he doesn't just have ONE client. He has many.
(Do you know that sometimes I can't think of a title for my blog, so I look around the computer desk and just pick a word off anything that may remotely match with what I'm about to say? . . . hmmm . . . today it was completely irrelevant, but the last couple of days have been rough, and I'm TIRED!)
Dec. 25 - I went and saw The Aviator with Josh after I dropped off Gabby at her dad's (after I watched his dad and him try to shoot a squirrel down from a tree with their pellet guns in front of my daughter!!! What was I thinking when I let that man touch me!?) Anyhoo . . . I really, really liked this movie. It had some of the year's best performances. And I swear that Leonardo DiCaprio left the set everyday begging for Advil, and after the movie wrapped I'm pretty sure he needed a hell of a lot of Botox . . . he gave such intense performances with lots of tears and face scrunching . . . I could feel the migraines for him! There was something missing from this movie though . . . just that little something that draws you completely into a movie and makes you fall in love with the characters . . . I'm not sure what to call it . . . but it is a great story and great acting. I had a little bit of a problem watching it because Leo looks a lot like Aaron the Beast (or is it the other way around because Aaron is younger?). When those close-up shots came around Leo would be looking right at me, and I could see Aaron, and he was telling me to stop thinking about cheeseburgers . . . WHOA! . . . a little scary!!!
Dec. 26 - AOC meeting preparing day. I did cardio, tanned, shopped, and then I cleaned like mad until very late at night, and my apartment was shiny and beautiful . . . except for the wonderful smell of bleach coming from the shower (ok, so it was also mixed with mildew spray, Ajax, and some lime away stuff . . . you're not supposed to mix all that stuff, right? Is that why I almost passed out and busted my head in the bathtub?) Talked to the AOC this night, and he said he would call in the morning and let me know when he was going to arrive (he was on stand-by or something). We had a really good conversation, he was very sweet, and told me that I could just tell him if I was panicking, but that I should not just not show up.
Dec. 27 - Waiting for the phone call that's going to let me know when I'm about to meet the person that could change my life for better or worse. No call . . . no call . . . no call . . . so I went to the gym, tanned, and went to HEB. Got home . . . check email . . . yep! He sent an email. I'm thinking cool, he emailed me the times of his flight. NOPE! He's not going to be able to make it out of town. Some last minute stuff came up for his "job", and he has to get it done. If he was telling the truth, it was fine. The stuff he had to do is pretty important, but I'm pissed!!! He should have CALLED me, not emailed. So, my day was filled with laying around and feeling miserable. It was a weird feeling though. It wasn't one that I think I've had before. I kind of felt like crying, but didn't. I was more pissed off than hurt . . . and I just had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had just gone from thhe very tippy tippy top of excitement and nervousness all the way down to the bottom of the lowest dissappointments. I love real rollercoasters, but I'm not too fond of the emotional ones. He called last night, and we talked. And it looks like I should maybe trust him (Oh God! That is so hard!!! My brain keeps telling me, "Trust no one Trust no one Trust no one!").
I'm used to choosing and being around men that follow me like puppy dogs, and get attached right away. It feeds my ego, right? So, when I find someone that I really like that doesn't do these things, I get frustrated, and I don't think that they like me. But I have to remember that it's my past relationships that are the unhealthy ones, not this one. Yes, he should have been more considerate, but I don't want to come across as some psycho, nagging, pissed off, young little bitch. He doesn't owe me anything, ya know? After we meet . . . well, then, it will be easier to tell him when I'm feeling "neglected". But it's really hard to convey feelings and personality, etc. through emails, instant messegaes, and even through the phone. Body language and facial expressions are very important.
Have I rambled enough today? I'm headed off to the gym to do cardio 3 days in a row! Aaron would be so proud! I'm so pissed at him for leaving me still, and maybe actually doing really well, and getting to the point he was trying to get me to, will be my sweet revenge . . . yeah right! He won't give a shit! I forget sometimes that I only have one trainer and probably feel closer to him than he does to me because he doesn't just have ONE client. He has many.
Comments
You can ignore everything I have said, or do a little probing. Up to you. Just speaking from a "little" bit of experience.
Lovies!
K