Dysfunction Suits Me

Cinnamon Danish Ya know what? I am okay. I am okay with the fact that my "Merry Meeting" (thanks K) didn't take place. Disappointed, yes, but okay nonetheless. I had a really good conversation with the AOC last night. Two of them in fact. And maybe some of his confidence that our "meeting" will take place at some point is rubbing off on me. It's just so hard for me to trust what people tell me. I just have such a problem believing that someone would actually like me, so when things like this happen, I always think it's because the person is "avoiding" . . . maybe that's because that's what I do. So . . . keep your fingers crossed for me. I have mentioned that even though I really like my strength/resistance training sessions at the gym, I absolutely cannot stand going in to do cardio? . . . I have been in four days in a row to do cardio this week! And today I actually want to go. I think it's something you have to get used to, and t...

Cinnamon Bun So . . . got an email yesterday. The AOC just couldn't get his work done . . . and he decided it would be better to wait rather than only have a day and a half together before I am otherwise engaged with family this weekend. I kind of agree. Such a short time would suck, but it would be better than nothing. I'm sure there is no need to explain my utter disappointment, so on to other things . . . CRAP! There was something I really wanted to talk about, and then I was thinking about the people that might possibly read this . . . I should have never given this site to one person! Now I feel like I need to censor, but let me just say that my behavior last night because of my state of mind from my utter disappointment has proved to me that I need serious help. I stepped outside the box and had a cinnamon bun bagel this morning. Something really must be wrong.

SanDisk (Do you know that sometimes I can't think of a title for my blog, so I look around the computer desk and just pick a word off anything that may remotely match with what I'm about to say? . . . hmmm . . . today it was completely irrelevant, but the last couple of days have been rough, and I'm TIRED!) Dec. 25 - I went and saw The Aviator with Josh after I dropped off Gabby at her dad's (after I watched his dad and him try to shoot a squirrel down from a tree with their pellet guns in front of my daughter!!! What was I thinking when I let that man touch me!?) Anyhoo . . . I really, really liked this movie. It had some of the year's best performances. And I swear that Leonardo DiCaprio left the set everyday begging for Advil, and after the movie wrapped I'm pretty sure he needed a hell of a lot of Botox . . . he gave such intense performances with lots of tears and face scrunching . . . I could feel the migraines for him! There was something missing from th...

UGH!!! Ugh Ugh Ugh

The Day After Yesterday Here it is the day after Christmas. This is usually the day where you lay around, maybe are a little bored, play with stuff you got the day before, go shopping, and just relax after the climax. That's not happening for me this year. Tomorrow is the day! I'm scared, anxious, nervous, excited, happy, laughing, crying . . . gees . . . I would like a shot please! Can I handle this? Christmas Eve, I went to mass with my parent's and Gabby. It's the only day of the year that I set foot on holy ground. We left church and there were actual snowflakes falling in San Antonio, TX! Before we left the house for church in our Christmas best, Gabby told me she hated my black pin-striped pants. She said, "They look like boy's pants. Like boy pants when you're going on a date." Where does she get this stuff? I find it really interesting, too that the whole past week she has been telling me that Christmas is about having "love in our hearts...

Parental Advisory Warning! Yesterday I heard a couple of really funny "lines" come out of what will be an un-named source! I laughed so hard I almost cried. I've been quoting movies and songs, but I suppose sometimes some of the best quotes come right from the people around you. They're a little vulgar, and I don't want to offend anyone, so if you're easily offended . . . STOP HERE . . .and please don't think the worst of me for laughing at them . . . they sound worse than the context that they were meant in, which is why I think it's so funny I guess . . . . 1. "I don't make a noise while you're hitting me!" 2. "I don't want nothin' too big down there." 3. "I'm NOT gay." 4. "Maybe we can ask for extra bread, and then stick it in the to-go box! hee hee!" 5. "Nuts to Soup!" . . . .this unknown source also says the following, "You're the cat's pajamas...

Merry Almost Christmas Don't you love the laundry basket, and my still blank walls!!!

Mama needs a new pair of shoes. You know when you get a new shirt, shoes, or maybe some new little gadget, or when you decide to pick up some hobby like crocheting, and then a few days, weeks, months later . . . you're just kind of over it? I think that's what's happening to me and blogging. It was like a fresh new little hobby, a new form of entertainment. Now . . . I'm not blogging as much, and I haven't even been doing my morning blog reading, coffee, bagel routine. I don't really want this to be a hobby that I'm done with . . . any suggestions to keep up my blogging stamina?? It still doesn't feel like Christmas to me . . . the tree is up, however, and looks marvelous if I must say so myself. I braved the mall with Gabby and Josh at like 8 pm last night. I get so clostrophobic (sp) when I'm in large crowds of people like that. I just want to knock them all down. People are ridiculously rude and mean. It's supposed to be the holidays, a...

No one can call PETA on me now! Have had a very eventful, uneventful weekend. Josh has to be the most patient person I have ever met, and it's kind of weird since he suffers from what I like to call "Only Chidl Syndrome". . . but he is . . . patient . . . especially with me. I have this very annoying habit of getting all junked up on caffeine in the morning . . . cups of coffee and supplements from the gym. After the so called caffeine party, I have so much energy, am raring to go, and like to run around and do things for a couple of hours, but then . . . I come crashing down . . . extreme sleepiness and grumpiness commence. I can be very mean at this moment of utter melt down. And Josh . . . he puts up with it . . . he tries his hardest to cheer me up, get me anything I want, and he even lets me hit him and wrestle him to the ground. . . not that he has much choice, but he's still my friend, and then I find some calmness and he'll let me lay on the couch while he...

WHEW!!! Just talked to Aaron the Beast. I have some comp sessions with him, and wasn't sure how that was going to work out with him leaving, but he said that when he comes back into SA, he'll train me every other weekend or so! Yay!!! He said he had another client that called him at 230 this morning and told him that he was causing her life to fall apart! Whew!! Glad it's not just me!! See...I'm not so crazy for taking his leaving so hard!!! But, at least I still get to see him every other weekend for the next 4 months!!! AND...he told me that if the new trainer does stuff that I can't stand, just to tell him, and he'll get it taken care of . . . First thing up!!?? NO MORE CHASING THE BALL AROUND IN THE AEROBICS ROOM! IT NEEDS TO STOP NOW! I am completely floating on a cloud today . . . can't get a certain conversation I had with the AOC last night out of my head.

Jesus H. Roosevelt!!! I have been in such a good mood that I'm annoying myself!!! I feel like screaming, jumping around my room, and throwing myself on my bed. Kind of like when my sister and I used to take a running start down the hall of our house on base and jump onto the bed, bouncing several times...why was that so fun??? I got my eyebrows waxed...um...and another area yesterday...when the lady was done doing it, she looked at me and said, "My god...I've never seen someone turn so red and puffy before in my life!" Thank you, wax lady!!! Now I have to walk out of the mall knowing that I look like a freak. Second appointment with new trainer today. He might not be so bad after all. My abs have never been this sore before in my life, but I like that feeling. It makes me feel strong. Hoping to see Aaron the Beast at least one last time before he leaves tomorrow. I will miss his cute little Leonardo DiCaprio/Dolf Lungren face. Another "I have never"? I have ...

"Get Your A** Down Here!" Ok, great...I started this...and now, I have sat here for 5 minutes! I thought I had something to say! Things are going so much better. Lots going on, still have that overwhelmed, hectic feeling, but yesterday...I was so proud of myself...I had lots to do, got them done, and the stuff that I need to get done, but I knew couldn't be done yesterday?...Instead of doing the usual freak out I just told myself not to worry about it until tomorrow (today). And ya know what? It works. Only worry about what you can get done for one day...one day at a time...this works so much better!!! Why didn't I think of this before!!!??? Things are going so much better with the "adventurous, online crush" (AOC) as well!!! OMG!!! A little over a week and I will be face-to-face with him!!! I really thought I would be nervous, and I probably will be on the day he gets here, but for now, I'm so freakin' excited...couldn't sleep last nig...

Trauma I feel very silly, stupid, vulnerable, and insecure as I am about to write this, but I must...I must... I had the most traumatic day yesterday. My trainer of two years, Aaron the Beast has gotten a promotion. I couldn't be happier for him. We had discussed that he would possibly be getting promoted to Fitness Manager, and that he might have to move to a new gym...no big deal though...I work, go to school, live, and go to my parent's house all over town, so having to go to a new gym is just a matter of fixing my schedule...So, a half hour before my appointment yesterday...Aaron the Beast calls to tell me he got his promotion...and yes...he will be moving gyms...IN AUSTIN!!!! WHAT!!!???? My first response was, "YOU SUCK!!!" His response? "That is the nicest thing that anyone has said after I've told them this." And then he proceeded to tell me that I could make the 1 1/2 hour commute to Austin or I could get switched to a new trainer. Well......

Just a thought . . . There is a mortuary located right next to the bagel shop that I go to every morning. Every morning that I leave the bagel shop and get back into my car...there is a very funny smell. This is the only time that I notice this smell, so I'm guessing it's not me or the car. Is it fumes from the mortuary? Gross! I really like the cheddar herb bagels more than the everything bagels, but I looked up the calorie information, and the cheddar herb bagels have way more fat than ANY of the other bagels. WHAAA! BUT, the cheddar herb bagels are also a little smaller than the everything bagels...hmmmm...maybe I can get away with this after all. I do get the LIGHT plain cream cheese, and I do scrape off most of it...not really for the calories though...I think it's yucky yucky yucky to be eating heaps and mounds of cream cheese! My ass has never been so sore before in my life!!! I don't think I was ever this sore even when I first started training with Aaron the Be...

"He's Just Not THAT Into You" Sheesz...did someone really need to write this book? Why couldn't women just be left alone in their lonesome deceiving torture upon themselves. No, really...seriously...we like not knowing the truth and playing games with our own minds. What will we have to talk about with our friends if we can't say, "What do you think he meant by this?" If everytime you have to question a man's motives or make excuses for him, and the answer to everything is simply, "He's just not all that into you"...there will be no glimmer of hope...none whatsoever...a girl won't even be able to fool herself into thinking that she can ever possibly find someone. I know I know I know...the truth hurts, and the truth also sets you free...but you'll have to be very secure in yourself and not prone to beating yourself up in order for the truth to really set you free...otherwise the truth only makes it harder to move on. So, thi...

WTF? God, I feel great. I am a typical cancer (please refer back to this ). "At times you will seem to have the greatest love for life, yet at others you can be nothing but a self-pitying mess. You can be pleasant and cheerful, or you can be egotistical and vain." Yep, that's me! So, now comes the part where I have a great love of life. And isn't it sad that it stems from feeling secure that someone likes me? One final down...3 more to go! I can't wait for this semester to be over. It has been really hard. Really it was last Spring semester that was really hard, and almost killed me...and that semester seems to have put me in burnout mode for this past semester. But, next semester is new, and will probably kill me with how busy I'll be since I go back to work full-time in the Spring...but as much as I complain...I like being busy, busy, busy! Off to see Aaron the Beast in a couple of hours. Didn't have time to shave my legs this morning. ...

"Have a holly, jolly Christmas . . . " Ok, my little stint of depression or hormones or whatever has dissipated, and now I may be infected with the very annoying, cheery, bowl of sunshine, Christmas loving fool bug. You didn't even get to have a guest host!!! I still might do that. Josh seemed very interested. So, maybe if he's more interested in contributing to my blog instead of his (which he never does), I just might let him. I am an idiot. What is all this B.S. that I've been blogging about forever...all this positive thinking, slowing down, taking things in stride? And, of course, I don't listen to myself. I just yap and yap and yap...always expecting the worst of everything. I hadn't heard from the AOC for awhile...ok...5 days, but I was completely set on believing that he was never going to talk to me again, that he had online dumped me for no reason, with no explaination. Got a phone call last night. I'm an idiot!!! Sheesz, Lizzie, give ...

Special Bulletin Will this amuse you?

On Hiatus . . . Sweeps are over. Re-runs are in progress. "Que?" will begin it's new season soon. In the meantime, stay tuned...enjoy the re-runs, as we present "The Best of Que?". Look for some guest hosts as well while the writer, director, and producers of this blog take a vacation, and...um...get it together.

Mc - Mc - McCheese I ate 4 grilled cheese sandwiches today.

I am BLOG obsessed I am addicted to blogs. I wake up every morning, take Gabby to school, grab a coffee and bagel (yeah, that will stop...um...soon...hopefully?...shit!), and then I can't wait to get back home so I can do my morning surfing through blogs before I get ready for school. However, there seems to be little or no new blippity blogging going on! I am very disappointed. I need nutrition for my brain. Snap to it my little blogger friends!!! (kidding...well...maybe half-way kidding!). Do you think there's such thing as Bloggers Anonymous? My child thinks she's very funny: Last night - pick up Gabby from parent's house. Parent's have a story to tell that they think is hilarious. My dad was doing Gabby's spelling homework for her. He was helping with the words "mad" and "made" . . . he made her spell both and show the distinction in the vowel sound . . . then he was playing around and asked her to spell "maid" . . . Gabb...

"Monday morning when I wake up . . . " Call me crazy, but I love Mondays. Yes, it is true. I love this day that everyone else in the world hates. When I'm working I love Mondays because I go to work feeling refreshed and I can 10-key it all day long. By Friday, my back hurts, my neck hurts, I'm tired, and I just can't type as fast. When I'm not working I love Mondays I think because I have too much time on my hands on the weekends, not enough to do, I get bored, I think way too much, and I end up in some nerve-wracking frenzy. Then Monday morning shines through my window and I'm ready to get up and start the day, refreshed, ready to be busy, ready to do everything I tell myself all weekend I'm going to do in the next week...which, actually, only about half of those things ever get done. This particular Monday morning I am feeling especially awesome. Productive. Ready to conquer the week with a new found fervor. I have phone calls to make, I have...

Happy Things Ok, so Gabby is much older now than in this picture, but look at my little lovey...So Sweet!

No More Bagels, Please . . . I am ending my morning bagel and coffee run. It is getting expensive, and I really just have spent way too much money and time on Aaron the Beast to be doing it, anyways. I haven't seen Aaron in like 2 weeks, and he's out of town this week. I think I'm having withdrawals. I HATE going to the gym to do cardio, but I really do love my resistance training workouts with Aaron. It makes me feel strong and like I've really accomplished something. There's a really good feeling that comes from making your body do things that it doesn't want to do. Good for my soul, maybe? I am going to make it in for cardio today! It takes so much energy to make myself actually go to the gym, but there's never a time when I leave the gym and say that I wished I hadn't gone. It really does give you a boost; it's just a matter of getting there ...Not sure if I can give up the coffee so readily, though... No class today. I actually got to wak...

Torn and Tattered Yep! The worst week ever seems to have actually made it through a full week...starting last Monday and hopefully it ended yesterday (Monday). I will get this over with quickly, though, and hope that this is the end of it. Last we were...broken down car on Friday...picked up Gabby and mom's car, got lost for an hour on the way to dropping Gabby off at her dad's...in the rain, talking to Jess as she laughed at me for being lost. Had to have a more than 5 minute conversation with Gabby's dad. Saturday: supposed to go shopping with mom, she cancelled. Took out my own stitches...thought I lost one. Went shopping with Josh...shopping for new jacket and boots...my feet are too big, and they never have my size...my boobs and shoulders are too big and every leather jacket has shoulder pads, and I'm not trying to look like a linebacker. Josh made me walk from the mall to Target. Josh bought stuff. He bought stuff that came in hard boxes with corners. Josh...

A 5 Minute Pick-Me-Up I know that these quizzes are a little...ummm...silly, but this one picked me up a little and made me forget my week for at least 5 minutes, and true or not...I liked what it had to say! So there! Guys Like That You're Charming You're the girl most guys can't get out of their heads Even if they met you on a bad hair day :-) You just seem to "click" with everyone you meet So even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't! What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

"When it rains, it pours!" Thanks neighbor Dan for that sentiment! I really needed you to say that like I need a hole in the head. Didn't I say that this week was going to get better? HaHaHa! It probably got worse just because I said that! Found out today from a classmate that this class that I registered for in the Spring, a class that I have to have to graduate has been changed to a different time and day!!! WHAT!!! I spent hours upon hours searching and searching to make my whole school/work schedule work out next semester! I had it perfect! I was actually very happy with it! Now I'm going to have to work the whole thing out again. Went to class even though I didn't want to this morning...drove home, got out o' car, got mail...got a letter from work saying that they overpaid me and are going to be taking the money out of my paychecks...and THERE COULD BE INTEREST CHARGED!!! Am I reading this right? Am I really going to be charged interest on mo...

Worst Week EVER! (This is probably going to be one of my longer post...maybe boring, maybe tedious...read...or don't, or just scroll down to look at Clive Owen again!) I have had the worst week ever! But now, it's better, so I can maybe actually laugh at it? I started off the week with this paper due on Wednesday that I hadn't even started. A very important paper, I might add. So, for all the rest of the events that conspired Mon - Wed just remember that the paper is LOOMING over my head...(Ok, see...it has been a bad "week" because it's more like only the first two days of the week, but it felt like the entire thing!...I really am losing it, huh?) MONDAY morning I had class in the class that the paper is due in...we had a test the week before...I didn't get mine back because I missed class on Friday thanks to having to be at my doctor's...I picked up my test after class...IT WAS A 'C'! ONLY LIKE THE SECOND 'C' I HAVE EVER...

I think I've found him!!! Ok...so, ignore a previous post about me never being in love ...I LOVE this very sexy, sultry British actor, Clive Owen...There are lots of actors, I know, who might be considered "sexier", you know, like Jessica's Johnny Depp, but there is just something about this guy...maybe it's his "country" British accent, the way those words spill out of his pretty mouth, or maybe it was his portrayal of Dr. Nick in Beyond Borders ...who knows...but I don't think I will ever get enough of seeing him!! Look for him to appear in the new movie Closer , which, by the way, let me repeat, features a song by MY Damien Rice !

Memories So, I've been reading this blog that all my 'inter-circle' of 'e-friends' has mentioned, Dooce . And I can't believe how much I laugh and...OMG...I cried today. When she talks about all the events that she goes through with her daughter I am reminded about how long ago that was for me...and when you're in the moments of screaming kids and being a woman you never thought you'd be (talking in silly voices, making faces, cleaning up spit-up, spitting on your own thumb to wipe off messes, cleaning up poop, etc, etc, etc), you scream, you stress, you cry, you occassionally laugh, mostly out of insanity...and now...looking in on someone else going through it...I think I wish I could have enjoyed it...it seems so sweet and so comforting...and so natural...and so long long long ago for me. I couldnt' believe I was crying today!!! The most recent post was funny...not sad...but it made me very emotional for some reason...and missing that feeling w...

Stealing, stealing, stealing I stole this quiz...thanks Jeanette! According to Findyourspot.com I should be living in Alexandria, LA...in fact all 24 of my choices were in LA, TX, and FL...and none of the spots in TX were in San Antonio...but I'm close enough I guess.

What is the definition of love? Some anonymous person asked me this in the 'comments section' many blogs ago. A hard one to answer...everyone has a different answer...I am slowly admitting to myself that I have never truly been in love...I have felt deep affection for people, and I have had my feelings manipulated, and I have definitely been in lust...But I honestly can say that I've never been in love on my own terms...I'm so ready to be swept completely off my feet...

An Inspiration for Relaxation San Antonio Sunset

"Just sit back, and RELAAAXX!" I have a serious problem. I don't know how to relax. And I hear it from everyone...Aaron the Beast: "Shoulders, down and back, you just need to relax." Josh: "Stop worrying about the AOC, he likes you, just relax." Gabby: "Chill out, mom, and stop being crazy." I think it's all my mom's fault that I don't know how to relax, at least it's always the parental units that get the blame for the things we think are wrong with us, right? I know how to lay in bed all day and be lazy, I did lots of that on Saturday, but it's not quite the same as just being at peace and 'relaxed'. My brain is still going a mile a minute. Aaron the Beast says I need to seriously do a Time Budget and then I won't be worried, and I can just relax. I don't think it will help though. Was I always like this? Or is it something that just came with Gabby? You can always blame those bad characteristics on t...

I can be very anal . . . This is going to sound ridiculous I know, but have you ever felt so strongly about something like a movie, an actor, a book, a song, a band...that you want the whole world to know that they are yours and you listened to them first...you know...come on...I know someone else has had this feeling before...My point here is that there's this guy that i LOVE!!! That I have loved for a good long while now, and he has had a video that they used to play at like 5 in the morning on VH1, but still...it's a very little known album, and except for that one song from the video, the rest of the songs on the album were hidden...or at least I liked to think so. Well...there's this one song on the album that is kind of special to me and the ex...and still can kind of get to me when I hear it...Last weekend when I saw Alfie, there was a preview for this new movie Closer, which I can't wait to see, but they are playing that one particular song through the trail...

Josh the fairy boy . . . or funny man? My friend Josh is the worst blogger ever...he blogs like...oh...I don't know, once a century? Which really sucks, because he's much funnier in writing than he is in person (hahahah), and I can tolerate and appreciate him a lot more when I read about his day rather than hearing it...Anyways...I was searching through his blog and found these two posts I had forgotten about and made me renew my thinking of him...at least for this hour, until he calls me in the middle of the day to annoy the hell out of me!!! http://dignan123.blogspot.com/2004/08/top-ten-list-of-celebrities-whose-ass.html#comments http://dignan123.blogspot.com/2004/08/elizabeth-part-i.html#comments

. . . 5 Bottles of Beer on the Wall . . . I had the best weekend ever with my best bud, Josh ...walking downtown on the Riverwalk, martinis at Swig,...(followed up my an IM conversation with the 'adventurous, online crush'...who Josh thinks I should start calling the AOC, but then I thought...Hmmm...one more thing Jess might think I'm stealing, but she stole my template...lol)...Saturday I actually went to the gym and did cardio, then Josh and I went to an art museum, lunch at a French restaurant, and then on to historical Gruene, TX...which included lots of bikers looking at my Josh like they wanted to kick his ass (kidding, my friend)...scary antique shops...a sliding climb down a steep hill to see the river, and then the "I can't breath and I have to quit smoking" climb back up the hill...drinks, appetizers, and desert at this very cool restaurant that I love...then it was back to SA...we wanted to see Alfie, but it didn't start for an hour or so...went...

Do you wash your candles? This happened last week, but I forgot to share... I went to pick Gabby up from my mom's house after school...we were kind of just hanging about in my mom's room...I was putting Gabby's shoes on, my mom was watching CSI...I wasn't really paying attention to anything except getting Gabby's shoes on...I finished that up and was about to walk out the door when my mom makes a comment, "Why in the world would she wash her candles?" I looked over to the television just in time to see the character Grissom (or however you spell it) pulling a blue vibrator out of a dishwasher..."Mom, that's not a candle..."

My Ever Funny Daughter There was a fake little voting taking place in Gabby's 1st grade class on Tuesday. She told me last night that she voted for 'George Dubia Bush' thanks to the encouragement of her little friend Dakota, who told her that John Kerry was a bad man. We had the talk last night about thinking with her own mind, and that she maybe should have voted for Kerry since she's supposed to listen to me...lol...then I explained how Kerry lost the election and her candidate won. She responded with, "Oh well...better luck next time, mom". This morning I kissed my beautiful daughter good-bye in the daycare and she announced to the entire place that my breath smelled like bagels. Kids...gotta love them?

Made Fresh For You: Hot & Delicious I've still been skipping school...at least a class a week...now I know another important reason that it's not a good idea...FINDING OUT YOU HAVE A FLAT TIRE, AND HAVING TO WAIT AN HOUR TO GET A NEW ONE!!! Yes, that's right, I had a flat tire as I was leaving work and heading to school...tire place was on the corner, so I was very much a girl, and stopped to have the boys do it for me instead of changing it myself. Was probably the best idea anyway. It had been slashed and couldn't be saved. Yesterday was my ex-boyfriend's birthday. We haven't spoken in about three months. We dated for five years so I felt like I needed to at least in some way just simply say "Happy Birthday". A friend at work suggested I just text message him. Sounded like a great idea, right? WRONG!! The ex in question has tended to have stalkerish qualities, and every time I give him an inch he takes way more than a mile. 4 text message...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! Last night there was a costume party (aka Halloween Party...but some people don't celebrate Halloween?...so hence just being called a costume party) for the Union stewards at work...I'm not a steward, and I only just became a memeber of the Union on my last day of work in June...and only became a memeber because there were a lot of "things" going on at work, and I didn't want to be easily fired...however, the party was at a good friend from work's house, so I got an invite...I think they just really needed an extra kid...the party was kicked off by us watching the little girls, including Gabby, do a project...the project was to get this guy from work into his costume...they did his make-up...he was such a good sport about it and it was hilarious!!! Then followed up by lots of Malibu on ice. I threw together a cat outfit, by the way, for the party...I'll have to post the pics...kind of funny. Tonight I will be out amongst all the other pa...

Looking for a new name? . . . Try this! Josh sent this to me today, I thought it was cute, and it made me laugh...I know I already emailed it to some people, but try it and post your new name in the comments...make me laugh!! Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name: a = poopsie, b = lumpy, c = buttercup, d=gadget, e= crusty, f = greasy, g = fluffy, h = cheeseball, i = chim-chim, j = stinky, k = flunky, l = bootie, m = pinky, n = zippy, o = goober, p = doofus, q = slimy, r = loopy, s = snotty, t = tootie, u = dorkey, v = squeezit, w = oprah, x = skipper, y = dinky, z = zsa-zsa Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: a = apple, b = toilet, c = giggle, d = burger, e = girdle, f = barf, g = lizard, h = waffle, i = cootie, j = monkey, k = potty, l = liver, m = banana, n = rhino, o = bubble, p = hamster, q = toad, r = gizzard, s = pizza, t = gerbil, u = chicken, v = pickle, w = chuckle, x =...

How did this happen? When I first started blogging I really didn't want my blogs to be all about "my day" or my "problems". I wanted to get creative, and discuss the funny, interesting, unobvious things that I witness or think about, maybe adding in a little of what I'm doing these days, but...it just hasn't happened. I really don't want to TRY to make it happen either...I just want it to be on the fly...I guess there's just a lot going on in my "regular, everday, boring, monstrous life". "Come on people I want you to get excited about your...blog." Anyone know who's line that is?

"Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend . . . " How did it happen that my trainer, Aaron, has become such an important "friend" and we don't even hang out, nor would we want to? I really like people who give it to you straight, and you're absolutely sure that they don't have a hidden agenda, and they don't seem FAKE. He really helped me out today by just having a very simple conversation with me, and even though he doesn't have any clue about this blog - "THANKS, Aaron". I have to admit that I'm quite bored and possibly a little...hmmm...depressed is the wrong word here...but I can't think of what word I want, just in a slump, maybe...the "adventurous, online crush" is out o' country, and I'm missing my evening IM's and emails. A friend, Brian, asked me today why girls have friendships at all when all they do is argue, be catty, and talk about each other...hmmm, Brian, I don't ...

What's the point? What would you do if you had a really big crush, and you weren't expecting to hear from the crush because you knew they were busy or something, and then out of the blue they call you, and you have only talked to this person one other time on the phone...lots of emails and IM-ing, but no phone conversations? Would you freak out? Would you become a nervous, giggling, school girl?...and if so, how would you remedy that problem? Would you walk away from the conversation knowing that you should be ecstatic and jumping for joy, but instead you are being overly critical and just plain annoyed with yourself? Would you use the term 'bumbling idiot' to describe yourself?

"I'm Singing in the Rain . . . " (I really LOVE having song titles for my blogs...and really people...you must participate...you have to sing along...it really WILL make your day better!) Today is one of the most awesomest days in the world...don't ask me why...I really don't know...it just is. I woke up to rain, and now it's sunshiny. I had a very fun and insecurity-driving-away conversation last night and this morming (this morming? I had to leave that in there...it's kind of funny...ok, probably only to me) with the "adventurous, online crush", and I got Aaron the Beast to cancel our appointment today. And who knows what the rest of today holds...only good things, Samantha...only good things! I've been re-decorating my apt. for the last year...very...very slowly...whenever I have excess money...It's almost done, but I have nothing on my walls. I had decided to do my own paintings...something I haven't really done since I...

Can I do this? I'm bored, and when I'm bored I often look at nonsense on the web, sometimes I go through random blogs...seldom stopping for very long...I just found one though that I really like...can I do this?...just post some random person's blog? Who cares!...check it out...It's interesting... www.photoprosba.blogspot.com Today I can tell is not going to be one of my better days, probably much like yesterday. I have some medical issues at the moment that I keep forgetting about...then have some thought about it, and have to say, "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that." I'm now trying and wanting to back out of this "online relationship" I've started, that might turn out to be really good, but don't want to look that far ahead, and cigarettes?...none. If you want to skip school, lay in bed all day until it's time to see Aaron the Beast, raise your hand!

Time to Share? I have a huge crush. I have a huge crush on a man I've never met in person. I have a huge crush on a man who does things that are very cool. Yesterday in the mail I got the book that he sent me...the book that he wrote...a book about all of his travels and adventures. The more I read this book, the less confident I start to feel about this being a possible "match". I have no idea what I can offer this older, more sophisticated, more worldly man. The biggest adventures in my life are grappling with 18-year old freshmen for a parking space at school, finishing a set of push-ups and pull-ups at the gym, or wrestling my daughter to the ground for a bath. Maybe I can teach him all about Sponge-Bob Square Pants? This is again one of those times where things seem too good to be true. The emails we send back and forth would suggest that there is a great interest and curiosity on both sides, and that something really good could possibly come from this!!! His ...

"Shake, shake the KETCHUP bottle; None will come, and then a lottle . . . " (I think this is the second time that I have used a line from a movie about "KETCHUP" to stand in for me meaning that I'm going to "catch up". I won't do it again, I promise.) I have just forgotten anything that I wanted to blog about...I think I spent too much energy coming up with the titile and the title explaination. Media: This past weekend I bought the new Joss Stone cd...it's really good, and needs to be checked out by all. On Saturday morning I got up pretty early and stayed in bed and watched Taking Lives ...twice. It WAS that good. Plus, it had one of those endings where you want to re-watch the movie to see why you didn't get it or something. Plus, Plus...it has Angelina Jolie in it. It's also time for book shopping again. I probably need to find some way to "slow my roll" in reading. I'm going through a book in like 2-3 days....

"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way." I've been kind of interested lately in cool little facts about redheads. Being a redhead is after all a little like being in some exclusive club...like the fact that redheads constitute only about 1% of the world population. Very rare indeed. Here's a cool website with facts, photos, famous redheads...etc. http://www.geocities.com/carriejane11/index.html

Josh . . . Just Plain Dumb? Josh and I went to breakfast at Cracker Barrell this morning. I'd never been before even though it's like 2 minutes from my apartment. Josh swore that it would be better than IHOP or any other such place. Anyways...we waited like 45 minutes for a table, but it was fine because they have this store that you can look around, and they had all their Christmas stuff out. We finally sat down, and Josh showed me this game that they had sitting on the table. It's shaped like a triangle, and has golf tees stuck in holes all over it with one empty hole. The object is to "jump" over each golf tee and remove it...ok I don't realy want to explain the whole thing...the point is that the instructions said that if you left 4 or more tees on the game board then you were an ignoramous...hahaha...Josh's first try...this is exactly what he got (and he had played it before)...I then took my very first try at this game, and removed all but one......

" . . . You Have Some Splainin' To Do . . . " I'm feeling much better about the whole blog thing...I was bored for a while, but "some things got to change round here." Changed the template, the "about me", added photo, changed display name, and edited some posts. Feels like spring cleanin'. For me though, spring cleaning just means I'm making room to go out and buy new clothes to replace old ones or something...Blog shopping would be great.

The Reign of Queen Liz Ends Changed my display name for comments and such...don't get too confused. It's now just plain Elizabeth...just like I like it.

"I'm Crazy . . . Crazy for Feeling So Blue . . . " I walked in the door after dropping off Gabby, going to the gym, and grabbing my bagel and coffee...I had to pass by the hermit crab tank...and there it was...The Crazy crab has finally died. My sister is probably going to call PETA on me.

Everyone's Favorite Sadist I actually asked Aaron to take measurements today. I must be crazy, but maybe I was just feeling thin today. I really, really was expecting really, really bad news. I wanted it to be bad news so that I could feel bad and get back on the wagon! BUT, there actually was only good news - really, really good news. The scale said that I had gained 4lbs., so in the beginning - bad news, but then Aaron did the fat pincher thing, and crunched out all the little numbers on his calculator, and it turns out I lost 1.5% fat, lost 2lbs. of fat, and the 4lbs.?...that was a 4lb. gain in muscle! Woo Hoo!! He also foamed rolled my calves with a broomstick on Mon. and again today!!! Hate him!!! Also made me do leg presses with 300lbs! I swear he thinks I'm like Chyna or something.

"You Better Slow Your Roll" . . . ...this is a very creative saying that some of my friends at work use quite often...There have been many times when I have been told that I need to "slow my roll"...One friend, Charlotte, once even told me that I needed to "stop my roll"...I'm still not real sure what exactly, specifically it should mean, but I think I'm catching on. I tend to be a big "rusher"...I want everything in my life to be instant gratification. " I want it NOW!" seems to be my motto...so much so I guess, that Josh sometimes calls me Veruca Salt (you know...Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...the girl with the golden goose?). I think I'm learning though. I'm in a situation where things are moving along at a pretty slow, even-keeled pace, and there's not much I can do about it anyways...so, I'm just enjoying it, going along for the ride, "slowing my roll". And I like it...I like it a lot!...

Once again . . . Garden State I know, I know, I know...everyone across the world has probably heard about, or talked about how great this movie really is...I just want to post the link to Zach Braff's blog...if you loved the movie ~ you'll love the blog... http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/gardenstate/blog/index.html

Has anyone ever told you you look like . . . ? If I have to hear someone tell me one more time that I look like Ann Margaret...I will SCREAM...or worse yet, Fergie!!! The only thing I have in common with these two women is the color of my hair!!! What was the other one I've heard?...Julianne Moore (or however it's spelled). I realize there aren't that many redheads in the world...and I realize that some people have this overwhelming need to compare the way people look to someone famous...but PLEASE!!!???...don't just go by the color of someone's hair

Garden State Rocks Not only is the movie Garden State one of the best I've ever seen, but the soundtrack has become the soundtrack to my life (or at least I've been listening to it an awful lot). Not only does it have one of my favorite Coldplay songs on it, but the whole thing is just really, really good. I WILL BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY!!! My moods have been so up and down lately...even when I'm feeling happy or things are going well...still...moody!!! SUCKS!!! But, it's not getting the better of me today!!! Seeing Aaron at 4 today...a little scared! What will he make me do today? When I was little I used to think it was so cool that my sister could pop her knuckles...I tried, and tried, and tried till I was able to do it myself. Now? I do it all the time...too much...especially when I'm working and having to do 10-key all day...it really does help my fingers to be looser. BUT, I seem to have done it way to much lately, and now I can barely move my pinky!! ...

Just call me Sailor Moon! Josh says this picture makes me look like I'm an Anime character.

Aaron . . . Beauty? or Beast? Can you say "Pain in every inch of my body, and I can't walk, laugh, talk, or let alone climb stairs at school?" I hadn't planned on going into the gym on Monday. Somehow I didn't get on Aaron's schedule, and I had to meet a classmate for a little study group, but...Aaron called and said, "You're going to be here at 1, right?" What could I say? I guess I could've said no, but I really did want to go. After hurting my shoulder pretty bad earlier this year, my workouts were not half as bad as they used to be. Mostly we just worked on my lower body, and getting my butt to "function" properly. Lower body stuff, for me, is pretty easy. But, alas, the shoulder is healed, and my butt knows how to function... what's left? Complete and utter TORTURE!!! Monday, Aaron had me run through a kind of circuit training thing that I haven't done in over half a year. I was on the verge of tears, and I wa...