Trauma
I feel very silly, stupid, vulnerable, and insecure as I am about to write this, but I must...I must...
I had the most traumatic day yesterday. My trainer of two years, Aaron the Beast has gotten a promotion. I couldn't be happier for him. We had discussed that he would possibly be getting promoted to Fitness Manager, and that he might have to move to a new gym...no big deal though...I work, go to school, live, and go to my parent's house all over town, so having to go to a new gym is just a matter of fixing my schedule...So, a half hour before my appointment yesterday...Aaron the Beast calls to tell me he got his promotion...and yes...he will be moving gyms...IN AUSTIN!!!! WHAT!!!???? My first response was, "YOU SUCK!!!" His response? "That is the nicest thing that anyone has said after I've told them this." And then he proceeded to tell me that I could make the 1 1/2 hour commute to Austin or I could get switched to a new trainer. Well...I'm not about to make a 3 hour round-trip just for an hour session...so new trainer it is I suppose. Aaron the Beast has become Aaron the Asshole! At first when he told me it was no big deal...then as I was working out with my new trainer I became pissed...then I came home and was CRYING!!! Is this like when people get attached to their psychologists? I suppose it is. Two years is a long time to put the care of your body and part of your mental stability into someone's hands. I feel traumatized. It is very weird, and I'm not sure that anyone who reads this will have any inkling of understanding. My schedule with work, school, Gabby, friends, etc. is so hectic and all over the place all year, and the only constant for the last two years has been that I will see Aaron for an hour twice a week...every week. This is driving me insane...and it's driving me insane that it's driving me insane. This should be no big deal, right?
So...new trainer? Now we have John Michael...I'm sure in the weeks to come he will have a nickname as well...He's very different from Aaron. He's actually a little nicer, not so rough on me, and he's much better about telling you that you're doing a great job...but I will miss my sadist Aaron. He would really push me. He knows I'm a wimp, complainer, and a quitter, and would do everything in his power to make me "tougher". We have a strickly professional relationship, we're not friends...but we had a really good working relationship, good conversations, and lots of laughs. He probably knows my body better than I do. It's kind of an intimate thing to have a trainer...they touch you a lot, they pinch your fat, they see your rolls as you're doing crunches...and now I have to get used to someone else doing it. My new trainer, John Michael, is much older though...so maybe I won't have as many cancelled appointments...he's much more responsible, but he's also kind of a dork. God...this is so stupid...but I do...I really do feel like I've gone through a very traumatic experience. Let me also tell you that this new guy, John Michael (I really have to get used to that name...Have I ever mentioned my bad luck with men named John?), made me chase a ball around in the aerobics room yesterday! God! New forms of torture! I'd rather look at cute little Aaron's face and his great butt as he beats me with a broomstick!
In other news...2 finals down...2 to go. One of them is a take home test, due tonight...haven't started. Had a really great 4 hour study session with some classmates last night. It was awesome. I was so stimulated by our conversations that I couldn't sleep. I LOVE intelligent, stimulating conversation. I'm being convinced that I should spend next summer in Belize doing archaeological work...but I have this phobia I've got to overcome first...Have I ever mentioned my fear of frogs/toads?
I feel very silly, stupid, vulnerable, and insecure as I am about to write this, but I must...I must...
I had the most traumatic day yesterday. My trainer of two years, Aaron the Beast has gotten a promotion. I couldn't be happier for him. We had discussed that he would possibly be getting promoted to Fitness Manager, and that he might have to move to a new gym...no big deal though...I work, go to school, live, and go to my parent's house all over town, so having to go to a new gym is just a matter of fixing my schedule...So, a half hour before my appointment yesterday...Aaron the Beast calls to tell me he got his promotion...and yes...he will be moving gyms...IN AUSTIN!!!! WHAT!!!???? My first response was, "YOU SUCK!!!" His response? "That is the nicest thing that anyone has said after I've told them this." And then he proceeded to tell me that I could make the 1 1/2 hour commute to Austin or I could get switched to a new trainer. Well...I'm not about to make a 3 hour round-trip just for an hour session...so new trainer it is I suppose. Aaron the Beast has become Aaron the Asshole! At first when he told me it was no big deal...then as I was working out with my new trainer I became pissed...then I came home and was CRYING!!! Is this like when people get attached to their psychologists? I suppose it is. Two years is a long time to put the care of your body and part of your mental stability into someone's hands. I feel traumatized. It is very weird, and I'm not sure that anyone who reads this will have any inkling of understanding. My schedule with work, school, Gabby, friends, etc. is so hectic and all over the place all year, and the only constant for the last two years has been that I will see Aaron for an hour twice a week...every week. This is driving me insane...and it's driving me insane that it's driving me insane. This should be no big deal, right?
So...new trainer? Now we have John Michael...I'm sure in the weeks to come he will have a nickname as well...He's very different from Aaron. He's actually a little nicer, not so rough on me, and he's much better about telling you that you're doing a great job...but I will miss my sadist Aaron. He would really push me. He knows I'm a wimp, complainer, and a quitter, and would do everything in his power to make me "tougher". We have a strickly professional relationship, we're not friends...but we had a really good working relationship, good conversations, and lots of laughs. He probably knows my body better than I do. It's kind of an intimate thing to have a trainer...they touch you a lot, they pinch your fat, they see your rolls as you're doing crunches...and now I have to get used to someone else doing it. My new trainer, John Michael, is much older though...so maybe I won't have as many cancelled appointments...he's much more responsible, but he's also kind of a dork. God...this is so stupid...but I do...I really do feel like I've gone through a very traumatic experience. Let me also tell you that this new guy, John Michael (I really have to get used to that name...Have I ever mentioned my bad luck with men named John?), made me chase a ball around in the aerobics room yesterday! God! New forms of torture! I'd rather look at cute little Aaron's face and his great butt as he beats me with a broomstick!
In other news...2 finals down...2 to go. One of them is a take home test, due tonight...haven't started. Had a really great 4 hour study session with some classmates last night. It was awesome. I was so stimulated by our conversations that I couldn't sleep. I LOVE intelligent, stimulating conversation. I'm being convinced that I should spend next summer in Belize doing archaeological work...but I have this phobia I've got to overcome first...Have I ever mentioned my fear of frogs/toads?
Comments
For your froggy fear, umm, I'm not sure what to say. Maybe gradually face it?
Jeanette - You're right. It will just take time, and change can be good, right? I'm starting to feel a little neurotic again because maybe I'm letting way too much of my life be caught up in this stupid I'm getting 'divorced' from my trainer thing! lol.
Carolyn - I really just might have to find a hypnotist. This has been a froggy problem for way too long. I had a conversation with the AOC last night, and he mentioned something about swimming with dolphins, and the first thought in my head was, "Oh NO! I can't do that, what about the frogs?" OMG! There aren't any frogs in the middle of the ocean!!!