Dysfunction Suits Me

Unfortunately, I didn't take many pictures. Most of them came from my favorite day while I was there and were taken on my phone. On Sunday, we just spend the whole day outside on the screened in porch. Carly slept out there for a really long time. So cute. Jess and Carly right before we drove to the airport. Sleeping in the car. Every single time I go to VA, we end up eating at steakhouses, chili restaurants, taco places...pretty much everywhere that has the exact same kind of food I could get in San Antonio. It's pretty funny. Although I find some way to get a crab cake in. Before we drove to the airport we stopped at this little Mexican restaurant (surprise, surprise) and wouldn't you know it, they actually had a plate named after San Antonio. Hmmm...this looks familiar...see the pic directly below from our trip to Colorado... Carly sleeping at Hard Times. Awww... There's that froggy arm... Fart smile? Sleep Smile? Either way, she's sleeping on my shoulde...

Awww...I just found this picture in my phone album. He was so little then. He used to like to just lay in that bowl. The bowl is on my coffee table and has fake lemons in it. So, of course, because he's a DICK, he would knock all the lemons out so he could climb in the bowl. I know it doesn't seem like it, but we do love Apache, too. He just doesn't do anything crazy that we can catch on camera. I didn't understand at all why Black Hawk had started to lay in this peculiar spot. On my night stand table. And then, one day I picked him up and he was so warm. Basically, ever since I got this new lamp, he has been "sunning" himself. We bought these super cute things to go around each cat's neck for Christmas...we were supposed to take pictures of them...but, as you can see...Black Hawk for sure hates it... Thanks to P-Dub, the world will know what my cats and I do all day...do you see how much of the bed I have? That's how it is every night...but ...

Loved holding Jess and Eric's new baby. She's really sweet. And hardly cried at all. I think she's also hilarious and is going to be an extreme handful the older she gets. She really likes sleeping while her dad is mowing the lawn and she really likes you to just pat her butt as hard as you can...example below...can't wait to see her again...

...of work, and then I am out of here. Can't wait to get to VA and hold Jessie's little girl!

Feeling better. Thank freakin' goodness! I still have a bit of a cough, but feeling soooo much better. Glad I don't have swine flu. I was scared there for a minute. Junior high with Gabby is very interesting. In one week she has become a very different child. And, it's very challenging. Especially since this summer she spent a lot of time at her dad's, so this weekend she was home and it was especially challenging. It's so much fun, let me tell you. She is very vocal. She has a lot of really interesting things to say. A lot of which is followed by "FINE!", "OKAY!", "THAT'S NOT FAIR", or "GOD!" There's also a lot of foot stomping and door slamming. She also would like me to buy her everything in the world and when I don't I'm the"meanest mom EVER!". She might as well start calling me Mommy Dearest. Yesterday I bought her a cool rainbow colored studded belt from Hot Topic. And, yet, today...

Been sick for about a week now. Went to the doc on Friday...he said it's bronchitis. I think it's swine flu. And, it just won't go away. All the meds they gave me make me sicker than when I don't take them...so, I'm not taking them. My other, regular, everyday meds are wrecking havoc on my appetite. I'm down about 15lbs. From not eating basically. Which, sounds really great seeing as how I could really stand to lose some weight. But, this is not the way I want to do it. Getting nauseous and wanting to puke at the sight of any food is not really all that fun. I really love food. I'd like to eat something. For the most part, I forget to eat between breakfast and dinner...and on the weekends...forget it. I don't want anything. I thought I was going to throw up on my desk this morning as I ate my eggs and potatoes. No, really. I was really scared I was going to have to take off running for the bathroom. That would have been embarrassing. P-D...

So, they've adjusted my medication again. Double the dose of Prozac, which I'm very happy about. I have totally noticed a difference on Prozac like no other drug I've ever taken. Why didn't I try this sooner? Only drawback is, I no longer want to eat. Yesterday I had a bagel for breakfast and didn't eat again till around 7pm. Ridiculous. But, it's not like I'm starving. I could stand to lose a few. My ADHD meds have been switched from Focalin XR to Vyvanse. I could totally tell a difference yesterday. I was much more focused. It's so weird how basically taking meth calms me down.

This weekend was jammed pack with errands and stuff. I played the Sims3 for about 5 hours on Saturday, and other than that, I never really got to sit still. I took my car in on Saturday because it was shaking horribly whenever I got up 60mph. Ended up having to get 4 new tires and an alignment. Sunday, P-Dub and I went to Joshy's house and stole his couch. He's moving and gave me his old sectional. I LOVE it! P-Dub went to his dad's for dinner and I stayed home and nested. Cleaned, rearranged. Love it! Gabby had to stay at her dad's one more night since I didn't get my car back until today. P-Dub spent the night so he could take me to work. He played the Sims3 and I read my new book. It was so domestic and sweet. I knew I wasn't crazy when I took off Friday from work. I'm working way too hard. Because I have to. Really shouldn't say too much about my job here, so I'll just say that I've been doing too much...alone. And it's kil...

Yesterday I didn't spend as much time with Gabby as I had wanted, but I think we both had a good day anyway. I slept for about three hours in the afternoon and Gabby played with friends and just relaxed. It was a much needed, very good for us, mental health day. I dropped Gabby off at her dad's kind of early, and then came home to be lazy again. P-Dub showed up after the work and the gym and had dinner with Carolyn and Scott at Champ's...which turned into a much longer night than anticipated. Easy to do at Champ's since it's not just food. It was really nice, though. We sat outside and had a few beers. Lots of conversation. And, the live band was amazing. They were playing Ray Lamontagne!!! I couldn't believe it! I love him, and NO ONE plays that stuff in San Antonio. It was good hanging with my sis. I don't do that very much these days. Between work, Gabby, P-Dub, Andrea, and my unfocused, ADHD laziness I tend to get too caught up and not catch...

Today At 4pm yesterday, I decided I had had enough of work. I've been working my butt off. Staying late, doing over time on Saturdays, and busting my ass doing everything under the sun. So, I took today off!!! I had planned on taking Gabby to Karate and lounging the day away. But, who knew? That I would walk into Gabby's room, climb in bed with her, and ask her if she wanted to stay home with me. She nodded yes, eyes still closed. And I just laid next to her, petting her hair. I can't believe how much "grown" children still look like children when they're sleeping. My daughter, with boobs, crushes, and an attitude, still has the same exact face she did when I brought her home at 2 days old when she's sleeping. I have to remember these moments. Especially when I'm yelling for the 5th time at her to do something and she says, 'You don't have to be a freak and yell. I got this." That's why they look so cute sleeping. Otherwi...

New ride on the top of the Stratosphere in Vegas!

...4th of July. P-Dub, Gabby, and I went to my mom and dad's...ate ALOT! Came home...watched a movie...now Gabby is playing with friends and P-Dub is sleeping. I turned down going to the Mansion with all my friends...i need some time off...real...quality time off... ...but, I'm bored...

I was going to write a new post...and then I spilled an entire 20 oz. coffee all over the carpet and the wires of the computer. I should just go back to bed.

My 32nd birthday was yesterday, and it was pretty awesome. I'm not so freaked out about getting older anymore. Every line on my face is just a reminder of how much I have laughed and cried in my life. A road map basically to the life I've lead up to this point. I took a half day off yesterday, did a little jewelry shopping, and then the festivities began. Andrea got my sister and P-Dub together and planned out the whole night. 1. Went to dinner at Joe's Crab Shack and had giant steam pots of crab legs! Delicious! Andrea, after she promised not to, told Frank the Tank, our waiter, it was my B-Day. He threatened the whole time about making me get up and dance, but I wasn't having it, and basically begged at the end. So...no dancing for me. 2. We came back to my apartment and rushed to get the heck out of here to make it downtown to the Cameo Theatre to see The Fourth Wall . There were only about 12 people in the audience...including us...it was pretty dang aw...

These are some pics of Gabby in Arizona with my parents, sister, grandmother and my aunt.

Well, he didn't really, but he hurt me, and he hurt himself. Every weekend morning after Black Hawk has eaten, he wants me to open the blinds and the windows so he can get some sun and some bird watching in. So, this morning I went lifted the blinds. Opened the window a crack. And I bent down to look outside. Right then Black Hawk comes bounding up between my legs on to the windowsill and in the process his head hit the side of my head and he held on for dear life with his claws. Which went right into my nail bed on my thumb. I can barely hit the space bar now. P-Dub thought it was pretty funny. But I was very concerned...about Black Hawk. I mean my head was hurting...and my head is about 4 times the size of his. And it's very hard. What if he has brain damage? I keep watching him to see if he's twitching or acting weird. Which is kind of hard because he's always weird...Only I would bonk heads with my cat. So, I guess he's just as weird as I am.

...just let me get through today! It's Friday, and I'm super stressed. One more day of work. That's it. Just have to get through today. Then I have a Dr.'s appointment at 5 and I'm done. Time to relax. I don't want to do anything or think about anything at all this weekend!!! Not sure if I'm going to end up going to Shane Dig. I really want to, but am already feeling lazy!!! I know P-Dub and I are going to go look at new cars for him at some point, but other than that...I just want to veg.

Broken. Everything is broken and falling apart. First, I bought a new TV in April (ok, my dad gave it to me as a Mother's Day/Birthday present). I have been VERY happy with the new TV. I have shrugged off flat sceen, fancy, new TVs for years, but I finally gave in because I knew it would make P-Dub happier to watch TV in my room...or anywhere in my house. I only got a 22". It was $250 for a Phillips, and it was just too good to be true. In fact, we asked the sales person why it was only $250 when the Best Buy name brand, Dynex, was more. He couldn't give us an answer. Actually, I think he tried to give us some line about because it was brand new, energy efficient, and the economy was bad. Whatever, we took it and ran. Turns out they had marked it with the wrong price. P-Dub went back the next day and it was actually $350. But you get what you pay for! The damn thing is broken! It keeps flickering and then it has a big green line across it. And of course I c...

So, last weekend I chilled on Friday. Went shopping with my sis on Saturday morning. Andrea was home from Canada and we went out to Baker Street for some drinks with P-Dub. Drank too much. Spent a lot of time by the pool. Thursday P-Dub and I are going to a Missions baseball game ($1 night!!!) with my friends Becky and Kevin. Friday is a friend from work's Baby Shower. And I think P-Dub and I might be going to a driving range to hit some balls and grab some drinks with Carolyn (my sister) and Scott (my brother-in-law). Maybe I can get in some extra pool time again. During the weeks I have dr.'s appointments, and daycare calling, and middle school arranging, and just lots of errands. Then, the next weekend is the 3rd Annual Shane Dig (my friend Shane throws a HUGE summer party/festival each year). And it's Father's Day. The next weekend is my birthday, P-Dub's stepdad's Graduation Party, and Jess' Baby Shower (which I won't be there for, but hav...