I've been making a lot of lists lately. It's been teraputic, and of course, that's the purpose. Therapy. I'm kind of in a phase where I'm learning to love my body. I mean, I am working hard, and I've lost another 2lbs...but just in case I don't get there, I want to love it anyway. And there are lots of things that I do love about it. It's only been in the last couple of years that I haven't felt very sexy. But 5 years ago, when I weighed the most I've ever weighed, I still felt sexy...I think that had something to do with the boyfriend I had at the time...he thought I was the sexiest thing alive at any weight...it definitely boosted my self esteem.
Things I don't like about my physical appearance:
1. I absolutely despise my innter thighs!
2. And...for the rest of my body...the only thing I don't like is my abdomen area...that's always been where I carry the most weight...and I never did lose that "baby stomach"...
3. I don't like my mouth. It turns down, and most of the time people think I'm mad or sad....but really it's just the way my mouth is shaped...I'll show you baby pictures, and it was the same. I recently went to see a platic surgeon about getting a breast reduction, and I also asked him to fix my mouth...He said he wouldn't do it because it would leave a pretty noticeable scar.
4. I hate my skin. Let me rephrase...I hate the skin on my face...I have very large pores, and all those "pore shrinkers" don't work. I really need to invest in some Retin-A!
5. I hate this one piece of hair right in the front of my head. It has become wavy over the years, and it kind of curls up from the roots...whatever, it just drives me insane, and I usually straighten it with a curling iron...however, I left a cotton ball bag too close to the curling iron, and the plastic melted all over it! I haven't bought a new one.
*That wasn't actually so bad...if I can only find 5 things that I don't like about myself, I think I'm doing pretty good.
Things I like about my physical appearance.
1. I like the rest of my thighs...and legs...Even when my legs are thicker, they're always shapely and they're really strong. I do 3 sets of 15 reps with 300lbs a couple of times a week.
2. I like my fett. I think they're cute. There's nothing really wrong with them...I don't have any crazy toes or anything like that. The only thing is that in the last couple of years I have developed cysts on my left big toe, and I hate them, but the recovery time for the surgery to remove them is like 6 weeks!
3. I love my hair. The color is still hard for me to say I love, but it's a really nice texture, it's silky, and it's thick. I never have to do much to it either.
4. I think my best feature is my eyes (eyebrows included). They're a weird color and can range from light green to almost brown depending on what I'm wearing. And fortunately and unfortunately they show everything I'm thinking.
5. I like my shoulders and arms...they're pretty strong, too. I do like them a lot better when I'm a few pounds lighter...so this is an area that's in the like/dislike section.
6. I like my hands. They're really big. They're usually longer than most guy's hands. I kind of have long alien fingers, but they're probably the most delicate thing about me.
7. My boobs are pretty cool. I think other people like them more than I do. But I see them from a different angle, so unless I see them in pictures, or I see another chick naked with small boobs, I don't really notice how big they really are. They are killing me though...so, I am getting a reduction. Only two cup sizes smaller...well, with all the weight I've gained it will probably be like 3 cup sizes now.
8. I like my ass. And I haven't really like it till recently. I was given the nickname crack back in high school because, yes, I don't have a booty that pops, but, it's curvy, and it is really strong, and tight under the jiggly part. And once I do lose some weight, I will love it even more!
9. I like my nose. It's little. And I like the apples of my cheeks when I smile.
*And that's about it. Wow! I didn't really think that I did like so much about myself. Maybe all these drugs and therapy is really working. I think it's the drugs...I LOVE the drugs!
Things I don't like about my physical appearance:
1. I absolutely despise my innter thighs!
2. And...for the rest of my body...the only thing I don't like is my abdomen area...that's always been where I carry the most weight...and I never did lose that "baby stomach"...
3. I don't like my mouth. It turns down, and most of the time people think I'm mad or sad....but really it's just the way my mouth is shaped...I'll show you baby pictures, and it was the same. I recently went to see a platic surgeon about getting a breast reduction, and I also asked him to fix my mouth...He said he wouldn't do it because it would leave a pretty noticeable scar.
4. I hate my skin. Let me rephrase...I hate the skin on my face...I have very large pores, and all those "pore shrinkers" don't work. I really need to invest in some Retin-A!
5. I hate this one piece of hair right in the front of my head. It has become wavy over the years, and it kind of curls up from the roots...whatever, it just drives me insane, and I usually straighten it with a curling iron...however, I left a cotton ball bag too close to the curling iron, and the plastic melted all over it! I haven't bought a new one.
*That wasn't actually so bad...if I can only find 5 things that I don't like about myself, I think I'm doing pretty good.
Things I like about my physical appearance.
1. I like the rest of my thighs...and legs...Even when my legs are thicker, they're always shapely and they're really strong. I do 3 sets of 15 reps with 300lbs a couple of times a week.
2. I like my fett. I think they're cute. There's nothing really wrong with them...I don't have any crazy toes or anything like that. The only thing is that in the last couple of years I have developed cysts on my left big toe, and I hate them, but the recovery time for the surgery to remove them is like 6 weeks!
3. I love my hair. The color is still hard for me to say I love, but it's a really nice texture, it's silky, and it's thick. I never have to do much to it either.
4. I think my best feature is my eyes (eyebrows included). They're a weird color and can range from light green to almost brown depending on what I'm wearing. And fortunately and unfortunately they show everything I'm thinking.
5. I like my shoulders and arms...they're pretty strong, too. I do like them a lot better when I'm a few pounds lighter...so this is an area that's in the like/dislike section.
6. I like my hands. They're really big. They're usually longer than most guy's hands. I kind of have long alien fingers, but they're probably the most delicate thing about me.
7. My boobs are pretty cool. I think other people like them more than I do. But I see them from a different angle, so unless I see them in pictures, or I see another chick naked with small boobs, I don't really notice how big they really are. They are killing me though...so, I am getting a reduction. Only two cup sizes smaller...well, with all the weight I've gained it will probably be like 3 cup sizes now.
8. I like my ass. And I haven't really like it till recently. I was given the nickname crack back in high school because, yes, I don't have a booty that pops, but, it's curvy, and it is really strong, and tight under the jiggly part. And once I do lose some weight, I will love it even more!
9. I like my nose. It's little. And I like the apples of my cheeks when I smile.
*And that's about it. Wow! I didn't really think that I did like so much about myself. Maybe all these drugs and therapy is really working. I think it's the drugs...I LOVE the drugs!
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