Dysfunction Suits Me

...because I am so mad I will punch you in the mouth, and piss in your eye! My team leader who I love, and think is just awesome called me into his office almost at the end of work today, where he preceded to tell me that he had to talk to me about something that had nothing to do with work. At which point I was pretty freaked out. He then said, "Someone complained about the tattoo on your ankle showing." I couldn't believe it! The first thing I blurted out was, "So, is someone going to say something to so-and-so about her ARMBAND??" He said he hadn't noticed it, but yes he would monitor it, and say something to her too if need be. He also made sure to tell me that his boss and him both did not care, but that some other departments are bigger, and their managers care. So, I'm pretty sure that it was another manager, and no one in my department. I mean I hope it's not in my department! They're so laid back there! And then in his usual fun...

This is addicting!

You Are More Like Angelina Jolie Bad girl with a heart of gold. You are smart, sexy, and strong willed. You aren't against stealing another girl's man... If he's better off with you! Are You More Like Jennifer or Angelina?

I've been making a lot of lists lately. It's been teraputic, and of course, that's the purpose. Therapy. I'm kind of in a phase where I'm learning to love my body. I mean, I am working hard, and I've lost another 2lbs...but just in case I don't get there, I want to love it anyway. And there are lots of things that I do love about it. It's only been in the last couple of years that I haven't felt very sexy. But 5 years ago, when I weighed the most I've ever weighed, I still felt sexy...I think that had something to do with the boyfriend I had at the time...he thought I was the sexiest thing alive at any weight...it definitely boosted my self esteem. Things I don't like about my physical appearance: 1. I absolutely despise my innter thighs! 2. And...for the rest of my body...the only thing I don't like is my abdomen area...that's always been where I carry the most weight...and I never did lose that "baby stomach"......

I've been taking some new medications for the last few months. Wonderful, wonderful drugs! Sometimes I stop and am like, "Who was that person before?" So, anyway...I knew there was something wrong with the medication though. I wasn't losing any weight, and I've been working out, and eating right, but nothing was happening, except that I have been getting stronger and more in shape, but I wasn't having "fat loss". I saw a new doctor early this week, who before I could even tell her any of my concerns...she said, "We HAVE to get you off this one medication!" It's the one I've been taking at night to sleep. She said that there are so many other things that are ten times better to take to sleep, and the medication I was on was making me gain weight, and not be able to lose it. Her exact words were, "You'll see! We get you off of this stuff, and the weight is just going to fall off! Especially if you've been workin...

I was getting a little worried. He had been lethargic ever since I brought him home. So, yesterday they both went to the vet, and they both got a clean bill of health! The vet said they both looked really good....EXCEPT...they're both severely underweight. Now they are on a special diet of high energy and high protein food. Last night when I gave the new wet food to them, they went CRAZY! They ate for like 30 minutes! Poor things! They were starving! I feel so bad! I mean it's not my fault, but I wish the Humane Society had told me! I went by PetCo last night to get Black Hawk and Apache a scratching post, and guess what???? PetCo has turtles now! I so want to get some...I'll name them Cuff and Link! Ha Ha! And then...the hamsters were super cute, too! We could use a Hammy II. Sheesh! I'm going to turn into Ms. Doolittle! Also at the vet, the girl made a comment about how loud Black Hawk was purring, and I said, "I know! I think that's why the...

Those are the names of the two new men in my life. Yesterday I had lunch with my sister, and then we were like, "Hmmm...what should we do next? Shopping?" Sounded good, we even called my dad to ask for money. But, we're both in the process of losing weight, so we decided that shopping will be much more fun once we're in smaller sizes. That's how we ended up at the Humane Society. And how I ended up adopting two 3 month old kittens. It may sound a little impulsive, but I've been thinking about it for a while, and I have looked at hundreds of kittens. I really am a dog lover...but in the end, I'm an animal lover, and a dog in my small apartment, and with my busy schedule, would just be cruel. These two little black kitties won my heart. The names the Humane Society gave them were Black Hawk...who is black, but looks a little gray, with hair sticking up in all directions, and gold eyes...and Richard who is sleek black with green eyes. Since Black Hawk...

This year has brought me A LOT of changes. I think almost everyone of them is on the top things that cause stress, too! 1. I graduated from school. 2. Which meant I had to leave school, which I loved!, and that I had to find out what to do with myself in the evenings after work! 3. I had a two year relationship end. 4. Which meant that I had to completely change everything I had planned for the future. 5. I resigned from the IRS, where I had worked for 8 years. 6. Which meant I had to change all of the people I was used to seeing every single day, and I no longer would have my summers off from work. 7. I started a brand new job/career. 8. Which meant I had to learn a whole new job and industry, and meet different people. 9. Josh got a girlfriend. 10. Which means I no longer have him around...at all...which pisses me off, but I guess he's gotta do what he's gotta do. There are other changes currently under way, like my co-worker and I are being moved in our departmen...

I am so proud of myself! Ray Ray the Killer wants me to start lifting weights 4 times a week...two with him, and two on my own. I have a hard enough time getting into the gym to do cardio on my own, let alone weights! But I'm getting more and more serious about getting back in shape, since being with Peter Pan destroyed my self image! So, today not only did I go in and do weights by myself, I did 20 minutes of cardio, too! I was getting chills from how proud of myself I was, and probably all the endorphins rushig through my body. I am actually excited to get back in there and do it again tomorrrow. Except I have a problem. Only a few of my t-sirts and shorts for the gym fit me. BUT I'M NOT BUYING ANYTHING NEW IN A BIGGER SIZE! I'll just have to wash clothes alot till the other stuff starts fitting. I also ate perfectly today! Yay me! Go Go Go!!!

Because I'm pissed, and must blog! I had a flat tire this morning! I stopped to throw some stuff away, and heard this hissing, and sat there like an idiot wondering, "What the hell is that noise?" And then as I turned on to the main street I heard...clunk clunk clunk...it was me hissing. I had a flat, and I was on my way to pick up my sister, who's car is in the shop, and we were going to have this fabulous day with Gabby...breakfast and then pedicures/manicures. I called roadside assistance which said it could take up to an hour, but I only waited for about 10 minutes when this little old guy pulls up and changed it in about 5 minutes. Love him! I am going to have to pass a good deed along sometime soon in memory of him! Hmmm...maybe I'll just be nice to Josh for a day. Hmmm...maybe not.

(Guess where I'm blogging to your from??????? HOME!!!! YAY!!!!) So, there's a part in Runaway Bride where Richard Gere's character asks Julia Roberts how she likes her eggs. His point is that she likes whatever it is that the "guy of the moment" likes. Haven't we all done this? Of course. I've done it a lot! I ate my eggs with chorizo almost everyday when I was with Gabby's dad. I ate my eggs with refried beans when I was in my next relationship with John. And I ate a shitload of pizza when I was with JC (And I'm not a big fan of the marinara!). I've changed lots of things about myself when I have entered into any relationship, and by the time I get comfortable enough for the "real me" to start showing through, the guy's like, "Whoa! Where did this person come from?!" And that's when I find out that I have picked guys who love the batting of the eyelashes, the big smiles, the fake laughs at their stupid jo...