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Whhhaaaaa!

This morning, Gabby and I went to her new school for "open house/meet your teacher". Gabby was acting shy as usual with people she doesn't know. I don't know why I'm so scared that she's not going to be able to adjust, or that she's going to be traumatized in some weird way by changing part of her world around. She's excited, and she really wants to do this. I'm the one that's scared she's not going to be able to find the cafeteria, or that she's not going to be able to get breakfast and lunch. We were both really "pampered" by having her go to a private daycare for kindergarten. She was at that daycare since she was 2! Kids adjust though. They usually adjust much more easily than adults do. I have nothing to worry about, but can't help feeling a little sad that my baby is a 1st grader!!! I feel like I've missed sooo much. This is one of the other reasons I wonder if me going to school is worth it. I know in the long run it will help get us ahead, but in the meantime, I've sacrificed so much just to be able to finish, and the biggest thing I've sacrificed is time with my child. And because I have spent so little time with her during the fall/spring semesters I don't know how to spend time with her anymore. I've gotten used to being by myself kind of...and she's used to be the center of attention at my parent's house. I really feel like an outsider sometimes, and like I don't really know her. I get a little jealous of my mom sometimes, because even though I know Gabby loves me and wants to be with me more than anyone else...she still would rather go and play at my mom's or her dad's than be here. I just really hope she knows how much I love her, and I wish she could understand that my main reason for going back to school and working this hard is all for her, but in the end would she rather just have my time than have me make more money so she can have more "things"?

I'm just being an overemotional wreck of a parent this morning. It's always hard when things "change", and we're both really going to miss the experiences we've had with the awesome people from her daycare.

Comments

Jessiedc28 said…
oh wizzy wizzy don't be so sad.
9:47 PM
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