Shopping Sprees & Toothpaste Capris
We’re running out of work at my job, so the people at the top have decided to give us “liberal leave”, which basically just means they don’t give a flying nun if we take a day off. I am the Queen of Leaving Early anyways, so you bet I am taking full advantage of this gift sent from “above”.
Tuesday I didn’t leave early, but I skipped my Spatial Analysis class because I had a good tip from a friend at work that Banana Republic had some really cute, reasonable capris. I drove straight there! She was right!!! Cute, cute, and cuter!!! I was in the dressing room admiring just how cute they really were, and how amazing it was that they actually gave my butt a little bit of a “shelf look”, when the price tag came swinging into view in the mirror. I could tell, even without my glasses on, that the price was nowhere near $19.99. I cursed my friend’s name a billion and one times. $74.00 . . . Let me repeat . . . $74.00!!! I hung them up very nicely, and told the dressing room attendant that I just wasn’t having any luck . . . yea, no luck in my wallet!
I was highly disappointed and headed over to Old Navy because I am a working, single parent, student . . . not cheap! Their capris were OK. So, I grabbed my usual size and headed into the dressing room. What the HELL!!!??? These capris were ridiculous! They weren’t made for humans!!! They were made for stick bugs! But I tried. Believe me I tried. I yanked, and tugged, and grunted, and tried to push the fat into the jeans (kind of like tucking in a shirt). I got them on, I zipped them up, and then I realized that these just weren’t going to work. They were kind of like a toothpaste tube when you squeeze correctly from the bottom up . . . the capris from hell were definitely squeezing the fat from the bottom up and spilling out. It was so bad that even a really big shirt wouldn’t have made them look any better. I left, went home, slept, and headed out to my next class. I skipped my hard class for this???
Yesterday I decided to try again. This time I tried on the capris one size bigger at Old Navy. A little more luck. Why in the hell does my waist have to be bigger than my hips??? The one size bigger was way too big on my hips, butt, and legs, but fit my waist like a glove! I was just too pissed off about buying a size larger so I put them back. What the hell does the fashion industry think they’re doing? All my clothes at home in my normal size still fit! The scale doesn’t say I weigh any more!!! And I haven’t gained any inches! I guess designers just feel the need to make the pencils look cute, and squeeze everyone else like toothpaste. We won't even discuss the way it looks for me to try and shove my boobs into any kind of shirt, but I did find a couple of cute shirts, and I think I’m going back this weekend to buy one pair of capris! Ugh!
I took off early again today, but I am going to class. Tomorrow I took off the whole day. No shopping till Saturday though.
Ray Ray has killed me this week. It’s only Wednesday and I have done 60 push-ups, 100 lunges, I ran ½ a mile, I’ve done about 60 chest presses, bicep curls, shoulder crap, and I’ve thrown a 10lb. ball every which way but loose!!! Help!!!???
We’re running out of work at my job, so the people at the top have decided to give us “liberal leave”, which basically just means they don’t give a flying nun if we take a day off. I am the Queen of Leaving Early anyways, so you bet I am taking full advantage of this gift sent from “above”.
Tuesday I didn’t leave early, but I skipped my Spatial Analysis class because I had a good tip from a friend at work that Banana Republic had some really cute, reasonable capris. I drove straight there! She was right!!! Cute, cute, and cuter!!! I was in the dressing room admiring just how cute they really were, and how amazing it was that they actually gave my butt a little bit of a “shelf look”, when the price tag came swinging into view in the mirror. I could tell, even without my glasses on, that the price was nowhere near $19.99. I cursed my friend’s name a billion and one times. $74.00 . . . Let me repeat . . . $74.00!!! I hung them up very nicely, and told the dressing room attendant that I just wasn’t having any luck . . . yea, no luck in my wallet!
I was highly disappointed and headed over to Old Navy because I am a working, single parent, student . . . not cheap! Their capris were OK. So, I grabbed my usual size and headed into the dressing room. What the HELL!!!??? These capris were ridiculous! They weren’t made for humans!!! They were made for stick bugs! But I tried. Believe me I tried. I yanked, and tugged, and grunted, and tried to push the fat into the jeans (kind of like tucking in a shirt). I got them on, I zipped them up, and then I realized that these just weren’t going to work. They were kind of like a toothpaste tube when you squeeze correctly from the bottom up . . . the capris from hell were definitely squeezing the fat from the bottom up and spilling out. It was so bad that even a really big shirt wouldn’t have made them look any better. I left, went home, slept, and headed out to my next class. I skipped my hard class for this???
Yesterday I decided to try again. This time I tried on the capris one size bigger at Old Navy. A little more luck. Why in the hell does my waist have to be bigger than my hips??? The one size bigger was way too big on my hips, butt, and legs, but fit my waist like a glove! I was just too pissed off about buying a size larger so I put them back. What the hell does the fashion industry think they’re doing? All my clothes at home in my normal size still fit! The scale doesn’t say I weigh any more!!! And I haven’t gained any inches! I guess designers just feel the need to make the pencils look cute, and squeeze everyone else like toothpaste. We won't even discuss the way it looks for me to try and shove my boobs into any kind of shirt, but I did find a couple of cute shirts, and I think I’m going back this weekend to buy one pair of capris! Ugh!
I took off early again today, but I am going to class. Tomorrow I took off the whole day. No shopping till Saturday though.
Ray Ray has killed me this week. It’s only Wednesday and I have done 60 push-ups, 100 lunges, I ran ½ a mile, I’ve done about 60 chest presses, bicep curls, shoulder crap, and I’ve thrown a 10lb. ball every which way but loose!!! Help!!!???
Comments
Shirts? Forget shirts. Unless I buy T-shirts for everything for the rest of my life, I can't find shirts for nothin', anywhere! I have this problem with a really large, unruly chest, which may sound cool to some people, but you try not being able to ever wear button up shirts, unless you're swimming in them everywhere else.
Ok - I'll stop with the clothes complaining for now. I'm going shopping with Josh here in a minute anyways, and I'm breaking down and buying the "bigger sized" capris at Old Navy. (They should pay me for so much advertisement!)