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Did you know the Tooth Fairy is a drunken, partying whore?

A few weeks before Christmas I took Gabby to the dentist who informed us that about 6 of her teeth were loose at the same time. I told Gabby that she was absolutely not allowed to wiggle them until after Christmas so she wouldn't have a big gaping hole in her mouth for her Christmas pictures.

It's been what? two months since then. The teeth have started to fall out. The first one fell out in the middle of the week. It was one of her bottom canines. She woke up in the morning and showed me the hole. But, um, we couldn't find the tooth. We still haven't found the tooth. I'm pretty sure she swallowed it. That can't be good for her. I was surprised that this particular tooth fell out first since one of her top incisors was hanging on by a thread for a week! Even the Bagel Lady knew about this tooth. Every morning she would question Gabby on whether or not she still had her tooth.

We were scheduled to go shopping with my mom a couple of Saturdays ago. Gabby keeps wanting to show me how loose her tooth is, but I just can't bring myself to look at it. We stopped to get bagels. The Bagel Lady asked again if her tooth had fallen out yet. Gabby pushed her tooth forward with her tongue and closed her lips, her tooth sticking out between them, and then replied, "Nope".

We got to my parent's house and Gabby showed them her little trick - stickng the loose tooth between her lips when they're closed. This earned her the nickname of "Bucky" by my dad. For the rest of the day she was known as "Bucky" and laughed histarically whenever we said it . . . ahhh . . . the simplicity of childhood.

We shopped, and then stopped to eat in the food court. Gabby took one bite and her tooth started bleeding uncontrollably, and she was dabbing at it with a napkin. My mom was sitting across from her and having to be the "adult". I couldn't look at Gabby without feelings of throwing up. Then we really would have had a mess. Then my mom mentioned that I might have to pick her up off the floor. What a real mess that would have been! Gabby bleeding, me throwing up, and mom - passed out on the floor in the mall (this has happened before with my sister, by the way). We had had enough of shopping by this point and decided to just get Gabby home.

Later that evening, Josh brought us Chik-fil-A, and Gabby came running in saying that she took a bite of chicken and then felt something weird in her mouth - her tooth finally came out. We stuck it under her pillow and eventually went to bed. I never knew how exhausting a loose tooth could make the whole family. Bucky was extremely excited about getting some money from the tooth fairy.

The next morning Gabby woke up, and found that her tooth was still under her pillow, and there wasn't any money. She said, "Look mom, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??" I felt so horrible! How could I have forgotten to play the tooth fairy. This led me on to an elaborate story of how it was Saturday night, and the Tooth Fairy was probably out really late, and taking a vacation, and then she probably had to be up early for Sunday morning church to repent . . . I realized at this point that if Gabby was any older she might realize that I just made the Tooth Fairy into a drunken, partying whore. Needless to say, we tried again Sunday night, and Monday morning Gabby got her $1. Yes, only a dollar.

I told my mom what had happended and she said that when that would happen she would just sneak into our rooms and put the money on the floor to make it looked like it had fallen out of the bed! Did you know about this, Carolyn??

Comments

Jammie J. said…
A DOLLAR!!! Man, I got jipped. I only ever got quarters, nickels and dimes. Sheez.
I know. Me too. Inflation, Hon, inflation.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Just Me said…
This is hilarious. I always knew there was something wrong with the tooth fairy, now it all make sense she is a drunken whore.
Anonymous said…
Can the tooth fairy come to my bachelor party?
Jessiedc28 said…
You should have given you more since you lied. Liar.
Kaycee said…
We really screwed ourselves,Matthew had been wiggling this tooth all day and we didn't think to get change, then at 1:00 a.m., Matthew wakes me up with his tooth in his hand. Well I waited till he went to sleep to put money under his pillow, but all we had was a 5, so that is what he got. Since it was "luckily" his last molar, we told him because it was his last "BIG TOOTH", the tooth fairy gave him more! Otherwise we would have started a president we couldn't afford. Oh, and I always got a dollar. I think its cause my parents loved me more! J/K

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