Dysfunction Suits Me

Cinnamon Danish Ya know what? I am okay. I am okay with the fact that my "Merry Meeting" (thanks K) didn't take place. Disappointed, yes, but okay nonetheless. I had a really good conversation with the AOC last night. Two of them in fact. And maybe some of his confidence that our "meeting" will take place at some point is rubbing off on me. It's just so hard for me to trust what people tell me. I just have such a problem believing that someone would actually like me, so when things like this happen, I always think it's because the person is "avoiding" . . . maybe that's because that's what I do. So . . . keep your fingers crossed for me. I have mentioned that even though I really like my strength/resistance training sessions at the gym, I absolutely cannot stand going in to do cardio? . . . I have been in four days in a row to do cardio this week! And today I actually want to go. I think it's something you have to get used to, and t...

Cinnamon Bun So . . . got an email yesterday. The AOC just couldn't get his work done . . . and he decided it would be better to wait rather than only have a day and a half together before I am otherwise engaged with family this weekend. I kind of agree. Such a short time would suck, but it would be better than nothing. I'm sure there is no need to explain my utter disappointment, so on to other things . . . CRAP! There was something I really wanted to talk about, and then I was thinking about the people that might possibly read this . . . I should have never given this site to one person! Now I feel like I need to censor, but let me just say that my behavior last night because of my state of mind from my utter disappointment has proved to me that I need serious help. I stepped outside the box and had a cinnamon bun bagel this morning. Something really must be wrong.

SanDisk (Do you know that sometimes I can't think of a title for my blog, so I look around the computer desk and just pick a word off anything that may remotely match with what I'm about to say? . . . hmmm . . . today it was completely irrelevant, but the last couple of days have been rough, and I'm TIRED!) Dec. 25 - I went and saw The Aviator with Josh after I dropped off Gabby at her dad's (after I watched his dad and him try to shoot a squirrel down from a tree with their pellet guns in front of my daughter!!! What was I thinking when I let that man touch me!?) Anyhoo . . . I really, really liked this movie. It had some of the year's best performances. And I swear that Leonardo DiCaprio left the set everyday begging for Advil, and after the movie wrapped I'm pretty sure he needed a hell of a lot of Botox . . . he gave such intense performances with lots of tears and face scrunching . . . I could feel the migraines for him! There was something missing from th...

UGH!!! Ugh Ugh Ugh

The Day After Yesterday Here it is the day after Christmas. This is usually the day where you lay around, maybe are a little bored, play with stuff you got the day before, go shopping, and just relax after the climax. That's not happening for me this year. Tomorrow is the day! I'm scared, anxious, nervous, excited, happy, laughing, crying . . . gees . . . I would like a shot please! Can I handle this? Christmas Eve, I went to mass with my parent's and Gabby. It's the only day of the year that I set foot on holy ground. We left church and there were actual snowflakes falling in San Antonio, TX! Before we left the house for church in our Christmas best, Gabby told me she hated my black pin-striped pants. She said, "They look like boy's pants. Like boy pants when you're going on a date." Where does she get this stuff? I find it really interesting, too that the whole past week she has been telling me that Christmas is about having "love in our hearts...

Parental Advisory Warning! Yesterday I heard a couple of really funny "lines" come out of what will be an un-named source! I laughed so hard I almost cried. I've been quoting movies and songs, but I suppose sometimes some of the best quotes come right from the people around you. They're a little vulgar, and I don't want to offend anyone, so if you're easily offended . . . STOP HERE . . .and please don't think the worst of me for laughing at them . . . they sound worse than the context that they were meant in, which is why I think it's so funny I guess . . . . 1. "I don't make a noise while you're hitting me!" 2. "I don't want nothin' too big down there." 3. "I'm NOT gay." 4. "Maybe we can ask for extra bread, and then stick it in the to-go box! hee hee!" 5. "Nuts to Soup!" . . . .this unknown source also says the following, "You're the cat's pajamas...

Merry Almost Christmas Don't you love the laundry basket, and my still blank walls!!!

Mama needs a new pair of shoes. You know when you get a new shirt, shoes, or maybe some new little gadget, or when you decide to pick up some hobby like crocheting, and then a few days, weeks, months later . . . you're just kind of over it? I think that's what's happening to me and blogging. It was like a fresh new little hobby, a new form of entertainment. Now . . . I'm not blogging as much, and I haven't even been doing my morning blog reading, coffee, bagel routine. I don't really want this to be a hobby that I'm done with . . . any suggestions to keep up my blogging stamina?? It still doesn't feel like Christmas to me . . . the tree is up, however, and looks marvelous if I must say so myself. I braved the mall with Gabby and Josh at like 8 pm last night. I get so clostrophobic (sp) when I'm in large crowds of people like that. I just want to knock them all down. People are ridiculously rude and mean. It's supposed to be the holidays, a...

No one can call PETA on me now! Have had a very eventful, uneventful weekend. Josh has to be the most patient person I have ever met, and it's kind of weird since he suffers from what I like to call "Only Chidl Syndrome". . . but he is . . . patient . . . especially with me. I have this very annoying habit of getting all junked up on caffeine in the morning . . . cups of coffee and supplements from the gym. After the so called caffeine party, I have so much energy, am raring to go, and like to run around and do things for a couple of hours, but then . . . I come crashing down . . . extreme sleepiness and grumpiness commence. I can be very mean at this moment of utter melt down. And Josh . . . he puts up with it . . . he tries his hardest to cheer me up, get me anything I want, and he even lets me hit him and wrestle him to the ground. . . not that he has much choice, but he's still my friend, and then I find some calmness and he'll let me lay on the couch while he...

WHEW!!! Just talked to Aaron the Beast. I have some comp sessions with him, and wasn't sure how that was going to work out with him leaving, but he said that when he comes back into SA, he'll train me every other weekend or so! Yay!!! He said he had another client that called him at 230 this morning and told him that he was causing her life to fall apart! Whew!! Glad it's not just me!! See...I'm not so crazy for taking his leaving so hard!!! But, at least I still get to see him every other weekend for the next 4 months!!! AND...he told me that if the new trainer does stuff that I can't stand, just to tell him, and he'll get it taken care of . . . First thing up!!?? NO MORE CHASING THE BALL AROUND IN THE AEROBICS ROOM! IT NEEDS TO STOP NOW! I am completely floating on a cloud today . . . can't get a certain conversation I had with the AOC last night out of my head.

Jesus H. Roosevelt!!! I have been in such a good mood that I'm annoying myself!!! I feel like screaming, jumping around my room, and throwing myself on my bed. Kind of like when my sister and I used to take a running start down the hall of our house on base and jump onto the bed, bouncing several times...why was that so fun??? I got my eyebrows waxed...um...and another area yesterday...when the lady was done doing it, she looked at me and said, "My god...I've never seen someone turn so red and puffy before in my life!" Thank you, wax lady!!! Now I have to walk out of the mall knowing that I look like a freak. Second appointment with new trainer today. He might not be so bad after all. My abs have never been this sore before in my life, but I like that feeling. It makes me feel strong. Hoping to see Aaron the Beast at least one last time before he leaves tomorrow. I will miss his cute little Leonardo DiCaprio/Dolf Lungren face. Another "I have never"? I have ...

"Get Your A** Down Here!" Ok, great...I started this...and now, I have sat here for 5 minutes! I thought I had something to say! Things are going so much better. Lots going on, still have that overwhelmed, hectic feeling, but yesterday...I was so proud of myself...I had lots to do, got them done, and the stuff that I need to get done, but I knew couldn't be done yesterday?...Instead of doing the usual freak out I just told myself not to worry about it until tomorrow (today). And ya know what? It works. Only worry about what you can get done for one day...one day at a time...this works so much better!!! Why didn't I think of this before!!!??? Things are going so much better with the "adventurous, online crush" (AOC) as well!!! OMG!!! A little over a week and I will be face-to-face with him!!! I really thought I would be nervous, and I probably will be on the day he gets here, but for now, I'm so freakin' excited...couldn't sleep last nig...

Trauma I feel very silly, stupid, vulnerable, and insecure as I am about to write this, but I must...I must... I had the most traumatic day yesterday. My trainer of two years, Aaron the Beast has gotten a promotion. I couldn't be happier for him. We had discussed that he would possibly be getting promoted to Fitness Manager, and that he might have to move to a new gym...no big deal though...I work, go to school, live, and go to my parent's house all over town, so having to go to a new gym is just a matter of fixing my schedule...So, a half hour before my appointment yesterday...Aaron the Beast calls to tell me he got his promotion...and yes...he will be moving gyms...IN AUSTIN!!!! WHAT!!!???? My first response was, "YOU SUCK!!!" His response? "That is the nicest thing that anyone has said after I've told them this." And then he proceeded to tell me that I could make the 1 1/2 hour commute to Austin or I could get switched to a new trainer. Well......

Just a thought . . . There is a mortuary located right next to the bagel shop that I go to every morning. Every morning that I leave the bagel shop and get back into my car...there is a very funny smell. This is the only time that I notice this smell, so I'm guessing it's not me or the car. Is it fumes from the mortuary? Gross! I really like the cheddar herb bagels more than the everything bagels, but I looked up the calorie information, and the cheddar herb bagels have way more fat than ANY of the other bagels. WHAAA! BUT, the cheddar herb bagels are also a little smaller than the everything bagels...hmmmm...maybe I can get away with this after all. I do get the LIGHT plain cream cheese, and I do scrape off most of it...not really for the calories though...I think it's yucky yucky yucky to be eating heaps and mounds of cream cheese! My ass has never been so sore before in my life!!! I don't think I was ever this sore even when I first started training with Aaron the Be...

"He's Just Not THAT Into You" Sheesz...did someone really need to write this book? Why couldn't women just be left alone in their lonesome deceiving torture upon themselves. No, really...seriously...we like not knowing the truth and playing games with our own minds. What will we have to talk about with our friends if we can't say, "What do you think he meant by this?" If everytime you have to question a man's motives or make excuses for him, and the answer to everything is simply, "He's just not all that into you"...there will be no glimmer of hope...none whatsoever...a girl won't even be able to fool herself into thinking that she can ever possibly find someone. I know I know I know...the truth hurts, and the truth also sets you free...but you'll have to be very secure in yourself and not prone to beating yourself up in order for the truth to really set you free...otherwise the truth only makes it harder to move on. So, thi...

WTF? God, I feel great. I am a typical cancer (please refer back to this ). "At times you will seem to have the greatest love for life, yet at others you can be nothing but a self-pitying mess. You can be pleasant and cheerful, or you can be egotistical and vain." Yep, that's me! So, now comes the part where I have a great love of life. And isn't it sad that it stems from feeling secure that someone likes me? One final down...3 more to go! I can't wait for this semester to be over. It has been really hard. Really it was last Spring semester that was really hard, and almost killed me...and that semester seems to have put me in burnout mode for this past semester. But, next semester is new, and will probably kill me with how busy I'll be since I go back to work full-time in the Spring...but as much as I complain...I like being busy, busy, busy! Off to see Aaron the Beast in a couple of hours. Didn't have time to shave my legs this morning. ...

"Have a holly, jolly Christmas . . . " Ok, my little stint of depression or hormones or whatever has dissipated, and now I may be infected with the very annoying, cheery, bowl of sunshine, Christmas loving fool bug. You didn't even get to have a guest host!!! I still might do that. Josh seemed very interested. So, maybe if he's more interested in contributing to my blog instead of his (which he never does), I just might let him. I am an idiot. What is all this B.S. that I've been blogging about forever...all this positive thinking, slowing down, taking things in stride? And, of course, I don't listen to myself. I just yap and yap and yap...always expecting the worst of everything. I hadn't heard from the AOC for awhile...ok...5 days, but I was completely set on believing that he was never going to talk to me again, that he had online dumped me for no reason, with no explaination. Got a phone call last night. I'm an idiot!!! Sheesz, Lizzie, give ...

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On Hiatus . . . Sweeps are over. Re-runs are in progress. "Que?" will begin it's new season soon. In the meantime, stay tuned...enjoy the re-runs, as we present "The Best of Que?". Look for some guest hosts as well while the writer, director, and producers of this blog take a vacation, and...um...get it together.

Mc - Mc - McCheese I ate 4 grilled cheese sandwiches today.