Dysfunction Suits Me

This first one scares me. That's right where I was sitting. I just keep thinking, "What if it had been an SUV or a big ass Texas truck??"

Over a week ago I thought I would have spent this past weekend hanging out and getting to know some great new guy and going to see my friend Andy's band play on Saturday. Well, the great guy was not so great, I did see about 30 minutes of Andy's show, and I was in a pretty ugly car accident with Andrea. We're both okay. Meaning I guess that we're alive and nothing is broken or bleeding. But we're pretty bumped and bruised. We were on our way to Andy's show. Neither one of us was really feeling it. We went out Thursday and Friday night, spent Saturday evening at the pool, the band was playing at a bar that is hated by most people, and were just in a state of exhaustion. But, Andy's a friend, so we got dressed, and headed out. We were running late...as usual. We took Andrea's PT Cruiser. She pulled up to an ATM backwards for me to get cash. When I leaned out the window the seatbelt tightened up on me and I cursed it. Then we headed downtown. On...

I went out Friday night, and....I met someone. We really, really hit it off. I think some of you who know me really well would be shocked at how good looking he is. His name is Paul, he's 29, and he's only been in San Antonio for about a week. Anyway, we talked all night, I drank a little too much, and so did he, so the night didn't actually end that well because there was an argument between him and Andrea. I thought he was a little rude, and also maybe he would be scared off. But we were texting last night, and we're going to meet up next Friday. I really do think he should apologize to Andrea first though. Although, I'm so green with this dating thing...I almost think that's too much to ask when you're getting to know someone. I don't know, you tell me. Saturday I pretty much did nothing but recover. And then Sunday, Andrea, Gabby, and I went hiking. We did a Level 4 out of 5 trail for an hour and a half. I'm not sure how many miles it...

How does she know? I don't know, but she just does. Well, she doesn't really. I don't think it's a concious thing at all, but somehow, I believe, something clicks in her brain. I'm taking about my best friend of 15 year, Jess. I'm down a lot of days, and sometimes I have days where severe depression kicks in. I'm tryng to live with this "disease". Trying to find all different kinds of ways of dealing with it, but sometimes I crash. Lately, Jess and I haven't been talking 3 or 4 times a week on the phone. She just bought a house and is fixing it up with E, and I've been busy with work and friends and stuff. But, on those days when I'm so low I don't know what to do...there she is, calling me. Talking...laughing...making plans. She has to know. On some weird telepathic level. If I haven't spoken to her on the phone in 2 weeks (we still email), how would she know to call specifically on this night...when I was having a s...

Not a lot going on in my little world. What have I been up to? 1. Work. Still love my job. We're kind of slow right now, and I wish I had something a little more challenging to do, but hey, I could be absolutely hating it, so I won't complain. 2. Spending lots of time by the pool. I'm pretty damn dark. My pool was just converted to a salt water pool, and it's pretty cool. Well, you can't really tell, except it tastes gross on your lips...but your hair and skin do really feel better than with chlorine. 3. Gabby gets bigger and bigger everyday. Mom bought her some pretty racey bikinis, but I'm trying to go with it. I don't want to be "uncool". LOL. I become more and more uncool in her eyes everyday. 4. My 31st birthday is upon me. I will officially be IN my 30's. Oh well. 5. Celebrating on Saturday for my B-day. My friend Tybor's band, the Twilights, are playing at this cool little bar, and they're amazing. I wouldn...

Today was Gabby's last day of school. She's going to spend the next couple of days and the weekend at her dad's. Unfortunately her new Karate daycare doesn't start till Monday, and I still have to work. I can't believe she'll be in the fifth grade next year. Scary. She's almost a teenager!! I'm missing my old flowy regular hair. Not that I don't like the bangs. It's definitely a good look, but not what I'm used to. Sometimes I just want to get up and go, and not have to worry about if I look like Sonic the Hedgehog with my bangs sticking up everywhere. I have a weekend of fun in the sun, going out with friends, and bagel tasting planned.

This is going to be very different from my usual blogs. I love the show LOST. It is by far...THE greatest television show EVER created. And I know...I watch A LOT of TV. I usually go to a blog called Eye M Sick to read about people's theories and thoughts...but I never write any of my own. So, since this show and everything about it occupies so much of my brain...I might as well actually get out my own theories. My sister and I and Andrea and I sit around discussing it for hours. That's one of the things that makes the show great...the conversations it creates. So, my latest thought after watching the S4 finale, and the scenes with Miles and Charlotte where apparently Charlotte's been to the island before...and then all the talk about "everyone" having to be together in order to go back to the island...well, I was thinking...that Naomi doesn't understand why Abbadon says that Farraday, Miles, Charlotte, and Lapidis are the people that have to go on this missio...

More pictures! It's the easiest thing for me to do right now when I have nothing to say... Pool party at Kevin and Becky's...Tybor holds up a bottle of Smirnoff that came right out of the cooler like this...They should pay us for a commercial. I didn't go, but maybe next year....Andrea went with Becky and Joy (directly below) and Kevin, Tybor, and Andy (below that) to Ren Fair. They're so cute all dressed up! One of the professors from where Andrea works held a Kentucky Derby Party (Kentucky Derby attire not expected, but appreciated). So, we found it a good excuse to buy ridiculous, fabulous hats. It was so much fun! Complete with Mint Julep hour and betting on the horses. Even though the actual race is like 2 seconds...and even though the poor filly Eight Belles broke her ankles and had to be put down...it was still fun, and I definitely want to do it again next year. Just Andrea and Andy hanging out one night at Charlie Brown's. A couple of months ago, I decide...

I have new hair. Yay.

This is the difference between my life as a mom and my moonlighting as a single gal on the weekends my daughter goes to her dad's. It's nearly 8 am, and I'm up. For no good reason. Just...up. Not tired. Up and ready to start doing laundry, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, etc. She went to her dad's on Friday night, and yesterday, I didn't wake up until 11, missed my appointment with Ray Ray, was severely hungover and dehydrated...felt pretty rough. Slept all day long. Did nothing. Maybe she really needs to stay home on the weekends more often. Or, maybe I should excercise some self control and quit going out every time she's not here...and really take some control over how much I drink.

...about not blogging recently, so, I'll just catch you up on one thing I've been doing a lot of... In the last weeke and a half, I went on another movie spree! Well, first off, when I was sick a week or so ago and took off from work, I watched the whole third season of Party of Five . I watched this show when it was in syndication, and I remember that Scott Wolf (Bailey) was the one that everyone thought was soooo cute. But as a 30 year old woman watching this show...Matthew Fox is by FAR one of the sexiest men ALIVE! Into the Wild - All I can say is I really loved it. Something about it really got to me. Maybe it was the whole "getting away from 'society'" that sometimes I wish I coud do, but know I never could. I love pedicures way too much. La Vie En Rose - Perfect kind of movie for me. Historical. Biographical. Intriguing. Goya's Ghosts - Intersting. Again, historical. A period piece. And I love those even if they're not very good. The Spanish ...

I gained 8lbs on my trip to visit Jess in VA, but since I've been home I've been able to take off 6 of those pounds so far. This weekend, Andrea and I played tennis for like 2 hours on Saturday and for an hour on Sunday with Gabby. Yesterday I did weights and cardio at the gym. Plus I have been eating really well. I am determined to lose 20lbs by my birthday at the end of June! Wish me luck! Or...wish some will power on me!!! I've been going out A LOT lately. Which, probably isn't all that great for me, and I have been feeling really guilty about it. But, not anymore. The only people who really judge me or have the disappointed look are people who got to go out a lot when they were in their early 20's. But, I didn't. I had a newborn. And I was a really great, stay at home mom for those early years. And now...I'd like some time.

My phone had a rough night in the hot tub. It's dead and gone. If you could email your phone number that would be great. I'm an idiot and had all my numbers saved to my phone...not the Sim card, even though that's what it's there for!

Over the weekend I rented 4 movies. I love doing this. Renting a bunch of movies, and sitting down to watch them one right after another. So, this past weekend I saw: 1. Atonement: I loved it! Just my kind of movie. Historical fiction, good unrequited love story. And really hot guy! 2. The Brave One: Loved it, too!!! A little different than what I thought it would be, but I was definitely hooked. And Naveen Andrews (Sayid on LOST) is to die for! 3. Enchanted: Watched it twice! I should have been annoyed with it, but it was sooo unbelievably good! 4. Dan in Real Life: I was super surprised at how freakin' good this movie was. And to think I actually took Josh's advice to watch it! Usually I hate his taste in movies. I could watch it again! In other news? Nothing really. I went out a lot this past weekend. I went with Andrea and our friend Russell and played Trivia at a bar on Saturday. That was LOTS of fun! Sunday I went to Cracker Barrell with the Fam, m...

Home from my most recent visit to Alexandria. I wrote a blog about our adventures on MySpace. Jess wrote one on her blog, too. I'm just here to post pictures tonight. There's some from this trip, some from Colorado, and some from recent times I went out with friends here in SA.

Jessica and Me at Eric's St. Patty's Day show in Baltimore. All three of us after the show St. Patty's Day Jess and Eric pose with George Washington and family at Mount Vernon. Hanging out with the lambs at Mount Vernon. Backseat Buddies: Eric, Keelee and Me on the way to Pike's Peak. Jessica and Eric on Pike's Peak. At the bar Metropolitan. Snow in Colorado Springs! On top of Pike's Peak. At the zoo with Joy, Andrea, and Becky. Andrea and me at my Christmas Party. At Charlie Brown's for some Karaoke. Hanging out with some firemen after going out. Joy, Andrea, Becky, and me. More firmen. Out with the girls: Kelly, Becky, Andrea, Rachel, me, Joy, and Wendy. What is Andy talking about?

One year ago today, at almost this time of night, I was getting ready to go out with my semi-fiancee for a ST. Patrick's Day bash. And it turned out that was the night he told me he cheated on me. It has been one year since the. It has been exactly half the time that we were together. I didn't even think about it today untiil it was brought up. I miss him like crazy sometimes, and othher times, I'm so happy to be on my own. I'm going through a big phase of confusion and transition, but amazingly...I'm not so freaked out abou it,. Everything will work itself out at some point. I'm trying to type on Jessica's laptop ane it's not working so well. I'm going to take my drunk ass to bed, and wake up perky to go to Mount Vernon. I hate laptops! Get back to you later when I can type regular!

I somehow lost my internet service a week or so ago. Ugh! I tried the whole unplugging/plugging it back thing, and it's still not working. I'll need to call the cable company. But, not too worried about it right now. I leave for DC to see Jessica in two days! I'll deal with it when I get back. Things have been ok. Busy. I'm making it. Slowly and struggling, but making it nontheless. Gabby turned 10 yesterday. I have a kid that's a DECADE old!!! Can you believe it?

I drank too much last night. But, a lot less than usual. I was definitely drunk, but not completely shit faced. So, I left the bar, starting driving home...a friend was following me...and I looked into my rearview mirror and realized that that wasn't my friend behind me anymore...it was flashing nights. My heart went into my stomach. But, then it was weird because I wasn't actually freaking out THAT bad. I very slowly grabbed my license, rolled my window down, and sat there...trying to put on a good game face. The cop walks up and says, "I pulled you over because you were doing 50 and it's 35 all the way through here." Me (playing really dumb!), "Oh, really? I didn't know that." Cop, "And you bumped a curb." Me, "I know, I'm so sorry, I was text messaging." (which I was) Cop, "How much have you had to drink tonight?" Me, "Like 2 beers." Cop, "Ok,..." Me, "Do you need...." Cop, ...

So, we all know, my best friend of 15 years, Jess, lives in DC, and we have to live on plane tickets and long distance phone calls (thank god for cell phones!). Over the years I've gotten to know a few of Jess' good friends in DC and vice versa. One of her good friends is Deannie. I love that girl. She was so much fun at Jess' wedding. And I feel like I know her because Jess and I talk so much. Well, Deannie is in town this week, and tonight we had dinner...and a few drinks...a few...with a couple of the people she travelled here with. It was great seeing her, especially since when I'm in DC she won't be there. Thanks for hooking up tonigh, Deannie!