Dysfunction Suits Me

Please don't judge me ~ It's been a while since my apartment has had a really good cleaning. My kitchen and living room get cleaned a lot more often than the rest of my apartment. I'm stalling because I'm really embarrassed to admit this, but...my bedroom...has not been cleaned since November when I was in my "Sick Period", and I went to stay at my mom's house for a weekend and my poor sister came and cleaned my entire apartment and my mom did my laundry. It's been a really long time. I change and wash my sheets once a week, but as far as dusting, vacuuming, etc. goes...well, there hasn't been a whole lot of that going on. In fact, in the last couple of months there hasn't been a whole lot of that going on for the whole place. I feel like one of those ladies on Oprah or something with the really messy house and all they have to say for themselves is, "I don't know how it happened. I just ended up here." (HOWEVER!...It...

...I graduated in May. Technically. I wore the cap and gown, I walked the stage, I got my fake diploma, I flipped my tassle, and all is well. Kind of. I need to finish up 3 hours this summer before they will actually send my real degree in the mail. Which will actually work out really well for me because the semester that I was really sick I had to withdraw from all of my classes, but I didn't get to withdraw before the deadline, so I ended up with all F's. Dropping my GPA from a 3.7 to a 3.0. But I have now appealed that and had all the grades changed to W's. This way when they re-audit me and I get my real degree I will be graduating cumme laude (or however you spell that stinkin' phrase). The class for this summer? Biology of the Human Reproductive System. Or...college level sex education. Basically I will sit in class for 2 hours everyday of the week for the next 5 weeks and talk about penises and vaginas. Doesn't get any better than that, right? T...

Well...it's only about 1230am, but I just woke up from a really bad nightmare, and I would really love at least some phone attention from my boyfriend, but alas, he's on a fishing trip, has to be up at 5 in the morning, and he forgot his phone charger, so we've been trying to conserve the minutes until he gets home on Sunday. Which has meant one 5 minute phone call each day for the last two days, and the same for the next two days...Sorry, I'm just lonely. I just came back to edit this because I realized that two years ago, on July 7, which was 30 minutes ago yesterday, was my 2 year blogging anniversary. This year I have no "special" blogs to link to, to say, "Go, check this one out again." I didn't blog that much this past year...well, I did last summer, but then of course, between getting sick, getting my tonsils out, and JC and me breaking up, and getting back together, I just haven't been writing as much. The combination of depression...

Gabby and I used to have this hamster...Hammy. He died. He was very, very noisy! He was out in the living room, but you could hear him running in his wheel or biting his cage all night long. I love to have my ceiling fan going full blast...even during the winter. Air circulation. That's what it's all about. So, lately, my ceiling fan has become increasingly louder and louder. Making rumbling, shaking noises. It makes it really hard to sleep. Especially in the wee hours when I want to hit snooze for another 15 minutes. This morning I got up and went to investigate. It was no big deal really. The glass encasing for the light bulb was just loose. So, I tightened up the screws, and VOILA! FIXED! That was about an hour ago. And, now it has come loose again, and is making the most horrendous noise. Oh, yeah, the point about Hammy is that that is what the ceiling fan sounds like. It sounds the Hammy is back, and running full force in his wheel, right in my room! I can't take it!!!...

THIS WEEK IS FINALLY ALMOST OVER!!! YAY!!! This has been a really hard week for me, and there's really no reason behind that. For those of you who know me well, I can fly off the handle for no reason at times...and I can also have an emotionally taxing week without a reason, too. I mean there are reasons...for one I'm totally freaking out now that I've graduated...and I'm sure there are a few other reasons that are stuck down deep inside, and I don't even know why. Anyhoo...tomorrow is Friday and I'm going to go out for a little karaoke, and I get to spend some time wit JC. Mostly I get to spend the night with him, and wake up to him on Saturday morning. There just isn't enough of that these days. There's nothing better than the closeness and intamacy of falling asleep with someone and "sharing" your dreams with them. OH GOD! That was SEVERE sappiness!!! I think I'm going tubing on Sunday for JC's birthday. Next Tuesday is hi...

No, really I am! My apartment complex, me, the neighbors, everyone living here always has a problem with fruit flies when the weather is warm...it's horrible, and you can't even leave one dish in the sink (even if it's rinsed off) without being swarmed by 10 million of these little fuckers! I hate bugs! Hate them! And I don't know what to do. I even had my house fogged last summer and it didn't help at all! Right now I'm sans bug spray, so I've been using anything I can find...Lysol counter cleaner, hairspray, air freshener, and now I've resorted to Pledge, citrus scent. That's it, Gabby! No more bananas and grapes for you! It only makes the problem worse. Even if my kitchen is spotless, they migrate to the bathroom and hang out on the mirror...I don't know what the hell they're getting from there! Maybe they like Windex...maybe that's why it doesn't help as a substitute bug killer.

It's been a long time since I've been able to do this...sit here with a bagel and coffee, early in the morning, and just blog. Although, I think I may have forgotten how to do this. I no longer know what I should or shouldn't say in this forum. Ah, screw it...I've never censored myself before. I don't know why I've been doing it lately...so, I'll stop! Friday and yesterday I worked out with Ray Ray the Saviour. I'm heading back to the gym here soon as well. It's so hard to get back into the routine that I used to have. It most definitely is a lifestyle change, and it affects the things you do on the weekends, and who you hang out with...and really...I really, really need to learn to say NO! So, Ray Ray keeps making me do this thing that I absolutely hate. It's called Jump-ups w/ a 5 second squat hold. Basically I have to jump up onto one of those step aerobic platform things, stay in a squat and hold it for 5 seconds. It sucks! It mostly sucks be...

I had a great weekend! A little stressful, but great! My mom threw a big party on Saturday for my graduation/birthday. A couple of old friends showed up and that was really nice. Today is my birthday. I had a nice simple dinner with my family (leftovers from the party). Everyone has been so supportive and great with all the congratulatory stuff about my graduation. I never expected this much "love". It's a really awesome feeling. Now it's back to the grindstone of finding myself a career. I'm so sick of looking at my resume and being reminded that while I have done a lot of really cool things (like the whole graduation thing), I also have not accomplished nearly enough at the age that I am. I had a really good talk with my mom today about what kind of jobs I could be looking for, and I'm really happy with the outcome.

Looking for a job...AHEM...excuse me, a career is just damn right hard and frustrating. It's even more frustrating when you know it might be what you do with the REST OF YOUR LIFE...and you don't even know what it is that you want to do! And let me tell all of you out there who are thinking about going back to school, or who are in school now...do yourself a HUGE favor...pick something technical, pick a real specific speciality...don't do anything general AT ALL! I don't understand...almost eveyone tells you to just get a stinkin' piece of paper and you're good to go...anyone in the world will hire you...WRONG! All anyone wants is someone with "skills" and experience. Whatever...time to put in some more resumes! P.S. Gabby is great! JC is great! JC and I are pretty good! My new car is awesome! My body and clothes not so awesome! My brain...melting, and just for good measure I've been eating too many eggs!

So, I'm going toobing tomorrow. That called for a desperate pedicure...desperate...I could have probably just painted over my French manicure, but I had a lot of toenails that had chipped...plus, who can get enough of sitting in that massage chair getting your toes did? So...I went and got a pedicure tonight. At first I was highly pissed off and very annoyed. I waited for 45 minutes with my feet in the water before anyone came to do my toes! And then this Hispanic girl was going back and forth with a Vietnamese girl on who was going to actually do them...Awww, God! Are my toes that bad? I mean they hadn't even seen them, yet! Anyway, Wendy the Vietnamese girl got lucky and won the straw to touch my beautiful feet. I couldn't stay mad for long. Within minutes I wanted to roll out of my seat laughing. The Hispanic girl was trying to teach Wendy words in Spanish, and, of course, Wendy was trying to teach the Hispanic girl (Myrna) Vietnamese words. So, then this misc...

I can't tell you how freakin' good it feels to have clean teeth! They look brand new and sparkly! I haven't seen them this way in a long while! During the days of yucky infected tonsil I seriously didn't get a chance to brush as often as I should have...same goes with once the tonsils came out. Anyhoo...there's a spot between two of molars where lately a piece of food of any kind will get stuck and absolutely kill me. It doesn't always work to use dental floss or a toothpick. My dentist thought it was a little strange, and he said there was nothing wrong. His solution? He gave me one of those cool double-sided curvy tooth pick things that they use in the dentist office! How cool is that! I can't wait to use it for the first time! And I can't wait to start scraping away my own tartar! NEAT!

Everytime I walk in to the corner store I have a hard time resisting buying a Lunchable. I just can't get over the yummy goodness of them. I personally like the Deluxe Lunchables...the old school ones that didn't come with a drink. Instead they came with that nasty mustard that I don't like (but is fun to squeeze out into the empty container when you're done), and one single Andes mints. Mmm-mmm-mmm!!! I am one of those people who has to go through all the different combinations of this kind of meat with that kind of cheese, and this kind of cracker, etc. I just finished eating one, can you tell? Life after graduation hasn't seemed all that different. Everything seems the same, and really...I much prefer answering questions about, "What am I going to do with my future?" as a student, than telling people that I'm newly graduated and being asked, " Now what are you going to do?" That question sucks. Especially for someone like me who is defini...

Looky! I finally have some time, and my computer is actually cooperating...Oops...better not speak too soon! It's really hard to write this right now. I stopped by JC's apartment after work for a minute, and made the mistake of picking up his roommate's cat...then I rubbed my eye or something because it's itching like crazy. Also, the cat loves it when I bend down and my hair is just hanging all over the place. He tries to swat at it. So, I was trying to get it to come out from behind a chair, and I held onto a piece of hair to put in his face, and he caught my finger on his vicious little swipe...now my finger itches like crazy, too. So, last weekend was graduation. What a huge letdown of a nightmare. First of all, public events just aren't my cup of tea. I asked my mom a couple of weeks ago if I could just skip the whole walking the stage thing. She insisted that I do it. Graduation day arrives. (BTW: The night before went looking for an outfit, and was really de...

Graduation ensued this past weekend. I have lots to tell. Will try to get back online tonight, and write!!!! DAMN IT!!!! For once!!!! I write up blogs every single day in my head, and then my computer never wants to cooperate! It sucks! And then of course I forget them by the time I get to one that works! Right now I'm at the school computer lab, and I could write more, but I'm meeting up with JC...and I've been wiggling around in the chair trying to write some professors some emails, and I'm pretty sure by now every one knows I'm doing the pee pee dance! GOTTA GO! LITERALLY!

I would love to say that I've been really, really busy. And, in some ways I have been. But my apartment is still a mess, my new car gets messier by the day, the laundry still continues to pile up, I have barely studied for finals, I haven't been spending that much time in the gym...so, I've been really, really busy, unbusy! Things do feel hectic and stressed, and I don't really have a clue why. I tell JC every single day that I'm just so stressed out I want to scream! But whenever he asks why I'm stressed and what he can do to help...I don't have an answer! Not a one. I walk the stage this Saturday! I have many thoughts on this, and so not enough time. My internet server has been giving me problems ever since I got my computer back, and so I'm still having to rely on coming to my parent's house to get online. That thouroughly sucks!

Gabby's favorite place to eat is Souper Salad. She doesn't like soup, and she really hates salad. Nonetheless...that's her favorite place to eat. I'm gonna guess because they have lots of kid friendly things like Goldfish, watermelon, cheese pizza...ice cream...finger foods. Gabby's least favorite place to eat is Logan's Roadhouse. I'm not sure why. Or at least I wasn't until a couple of days ago. She hates Logan's Roadhouse so much that Josh and I love to tease her about it. She'll say, "Where are we gonna eat?" And Josh or I will say, "We're going to Logan's." At which point she will scream and cry that she doesn't want to go and why can't we just go to Souper Salad. So, we did it to her again. Josh and I already planned on going to eat at Souper Salad, but while I was on the phone with him (Gabby screaming in the background "Souper Salad Souper Salad Souper Salad!"), I said, "Good id...

Being a girl sucks sometimes! For the whole last week I have felt gross and yucky. Fat and greasy. All of a sudden I wake up today, and guess what? No more fat and greasy. I feel thin (thinner) and squeaky clean. Being a girl sucks sometimes!

It's Monday morning, and I took today off from work. Right before the true tax season we get really low on work. So, they pretty much give us off any day we want. I'm taking off today and Friday. This past weekend was really great. And this is going to sound strange, but I feel really good about the fact that I'm saying I had a great weekend and Gabby was home with me. I feel like so often all of my "great" weekends are weekends that don't involve her, and that's just a shame. On Friday night my aunt and uncle were in town, so the whole fam went downtown and ate at Mi Tiera's. We got a little lost on the way home. Saw a crack deal goin' down. Good times. Saturday, took Gabby to eat at Red Robin. And then went to CD Exchange and the pet store with Andrea and Josh. I've been seriously thinking about getting Gabby and me two kittens for the last year. I think I've thought about it long enough that I might actually make it happen. O...

I'm trying to work over HERE a little more...

CAUTION: An obscene amount of pictures to follow. I have been doing some extreme catch up stuff here and over at my MySpace profile. I had learned to live without a computer, but of course, as soon as I get it back and running, I just can't seem to step away... NOTE TO SELF: The minute you finish posting this you WILL call cable company and finally get rid of this ridiculous dial-up internet!!! (The few times that I used other computers in the last few weeks I really got used to fast service, and now I'm so pissed off at the slowness of dial-up I might throw the damn computer across the room!!!) This first set is from my trip to DC to visit Jessie in December 2005. It's very, very sad. I think Jessie posted three pictures that she had taken, and I also only took three pictures from my whole three days there. These were taken the first night at a bar called Bilbo Baggins. Jessica, me, and Jessie's friend "Little" Jen... E, and Jessica with the very famous k...