Let's try this again...

So, yea, I can swallow without choking and dying in pain, but my stomach so hates the feel of anything inside of it. I've also developed some really bizarre, serious taste aversions. Even the smell of food makes me want to throw up for days, and that's exactly what I've been doing. I've got to find out what's wrong with me. My ear and tonsils still hurt, so I made a doctor's appointment for today. Hopefully I can get a referral to an ENT, and get this whole mess sorted out. I might also need a referral for a nutritionist. This morning I was able to eat saltines and some fruit, and I don't feel sick...yet? I'm guessing that this is what people have been starved or starve themselves go throught when they're trying to get back to normal eating habits. I hope so. I'm just going to have to stick with toast and chicken broth or something...um, wait, no...the smell of chicken makes me NAUSEOUS!!! The only thing that tastes good to drink is regular Dr. Pepper, so I've been having a lot of that, but now I'm dehydrated again.

I feel 100% better than I did a week ago, but I'm still only like 30% of my normal self...maybe 50%...and I can't really explain why it is that I still feel "sick" and just "not right". I'm weak and hungry and grumpy and crying non-stop...I thought I might be having a nervous breakdown last night...I don't believe in god, but maybe those of you who do can say a little prayer or something. I'm also going to try going to see my massage therapist this week who calls herself a healer and is into crystals and all that kind of stuff...I'm thinking I can't be picky right now...I'm willing to try anything!