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Let's talk about boobs.

More specifically, let's talk about MY boobs. In fact, boobs isn't the right word for mine anymore. I think a whole new word needs to be invented for these globes that sit upon my chest. Now, some of you may think that I'm bragging, and may even get on my case because you don't have boobs, want them, and therefore are mad at me for having way more than my share, but...let me be the first to tell you that the "grass is always greener"!

So, I've gained about 2 sizes in my clothes. Yea, I'm not happy about that, but that's a whole other blog, or just go read my other blog "My Diet Cliche". Did you go? Did you see how it's empty for any time period that's current? I think that says it all. Anyway...onto the boobs...I may have added 2 sizes to my clothes, but I swear my boobs are about 5 times the size that they were last year. Every time I put my bra on in the morning it's like trying to wrestle a two headed baby...make that a wet baby that doesn't want to take a bath! Let's see...lately I haven't even been able to pull them to the side to see my feet, or my thighs, or anything else that's happening to be going on in any vicinity that's underneath them. Every time I spill something I don't know about it until someone tells me. I have cleavage even in turtlenecks. Sometimes when I go out to eat the table and booths are too close together, and my boobs just sit on the table, which always makes it very awkward when the waiter tries to deposit my plate in front of me...I always think there's a double meaning when he/she says, "Watch out the plate is hot!" Yea, wouldn't want to burn my nipples! I might sue.

I am very uncomfortable. That's all I have to say. I need to get on the ball and lose some weight so I can get a breast reduction. Wish me luck!

Comments

Jacq said…
OH my gosh, Liz, that was too funny. As a matter of fact, I just did a post about boobs. Actually, it was about bras. I had a job interview last Friday, and just wore a shelf tank instead of a bra so "the girl" weren't standing too much at attention. I have that in-between size. Maybe I'm lucky, I don't know.
9:07 PM
Jessiedc28 said…
Your boobs are enormous. I can't wait for you to get them lopped.
8:49 AM
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