Today
At 4pm yesterday, I decided I had had enough of work. I've been working my butt off. Staying late, doing over time on Saturdays, and busting my ass doing everything under the sun. So, I took today off!!! I had planned on taking Gabby to Karate and lounging the day away.
But, who knew? That I would walk into Gabby's room, climb in bed with her, and ask her if she wanted to stay home with me. She nodded yes, eyes still closed. And I just laid next to her, petting her hair. I can't believe how much "grown" children still look like children when they're sleeping. My daughter, with boobs, crushes, and an attitude, still has the same exact face she did when I brought her home at 2 days old when she's sleeping. I have to remember these moments. Especially when I'm yelling for the 5th time at her to do something and she says, 'You don't have to be a freak and yell. I got this." That's why they look so cute sleeping. Otherwise you'd sew their mouths shut.
P-Dub
The most awesome person I have ever met. Who knew it would take kissing many turds to find the exact combo in a man I want. Did you ever think it would be so hard to find someone who is silly and dorky with a great sense of humor AND be completely responsible, dependable, etc? Well, it is...really hard to find that. But, that's what I want...I guess not everyone does. But you should. I like waking up, laughing and talking about silly things, and then he'll say, "Hey, we really need to go get your tail light fixed on your car today." He keeps me "straight" and calm believe it or not. I don't even want to go out drinking anymore. I like curling up, watching Rob & Big or watching nothing while he tries to build a house on the Sims3.
Speaking of which...it took him 3 or 4 hours to build and decorate one room in the house he was building. Can you say OCD? Perfectionist? Sheesh! It drives me INSANE! But really comes in handy sometimes...
Part of the reason I've been working so hard is because of him...I've always been a really hard worker (at work) and I have a really great work ethic (instilled by my mother), but I haven't done "extra" a lot of times in my life. Now I want to. I like having pride in the things I do.
So, we have started going to the gym together. I've tried working out with other people in my life...friends, family, boyfriends...it never works...I usually hate it. But, we're so "relaxed" with each other that it works out great. Plus, he trusts me, listens to me, and believes in me, so it makes it easier to be myself and share something I love so much with him.
Can you say fat?
Yea, I am. And I'm really sick of people, like my doctors, telling me that I need to lose weight to be healthier, but that I do carry it well because I'm tall. Yea, great. That does not help me. But, seriously, I was going through older photos and was really disappointed in myself. I really like being in shape. LOVED it! I go to a new bagel store these days and next door is a personal training office. Everyday weekend I pull up to get a bagel and wish I could work there.
Speaking of which, again, I'm getting really sick of telling people that I want to be a personal trainer and them looking at me like, "REALLY??? That's just stupid". I don't know what the reasoning behind that is. I don't know if it's because that's a side of me that most people don't see, or if most people see that as a stupid job. But I don't care. I would make a great personal trainer. I would make a great manager at work, too, as much as I keep saying that's not what I want. I don't know what happens to me when I'm around people in a "working" environment vs my personal life...but something else takes over. I'm smart, well spoken, helpful, positive, and extremely motivating. I think it's because I just work better when I'm focused and really LOVE something.
Bagels
I used to go to Big Apple Bagels (BAB) right down the street for years and years and years. And then, I kind of got sick of bagels. But, now I know, I'm just sick of BAB bagels. I know this because I could eat Benny's Bagels all day long. The difference is BAB bagels are really, really bready. REALLY thick! And so is the cream cheese. At Benny's, the bagels remind me more of the ones I get when I'm in DC. Not so bready, a little more about the flavor, and the cream cheese is not so thick. My favorite is an Asiago bagel with garlic cream cheese. P-Dub's is an Asiago bagel with Jalapeno cream cheese (yucky). The bagels there are kosher. They're boiled or something. Anyway, I love it. But it's too far away for me to stop before work. Boooooo!
ADHD
I got my medication bumped up and it's working a little better. I notice at work that I'm much more focused, but my doc said that when they get the right dosage I'll know for sure that it's working, so they'll probably be upping the dosage again. I also started taking Prozac. Only 10mg. I really paid attention to my mood one monthg and realized that I'm depressed about 2 weeks out of the month because of my stupid period. Seriously. I turn into a crying, snivelling, irritated, angry bitch. I've notice I pick a fight with P-Dub every time...and with previous relationships as well. I have really noticed a difference with that. This past week I was feeling a little bit down and really tired, but nothing huge...and then I got my period out of nowhere. Well, it wasn't really out of nowhere. I just usually know it's about to happen because of my mood and physical pain. This time I had none of that precursor stuff...so I was surprised. Yay Prozac!
The one thing I do notice about the ADHD medication is that I come crashing down when it wears off. I'll start to have a conversation and I can't even get words out of my mouth. But, that seems to only last for an hour or so and then goes away. I'll have to ask the doc about it.
Gabby
She is not so much a lady. She's a farter. I picked her up from school one day and as she was getting in the car she said:
Gabby - I have to tell you something.
Me - OK
Gabby - Wait, let me get in and close the door.
Me - What, Gabby?
Gabby - *silence* *farts*
Me - That's just great.
And then again last weekend, I was dropping her off at her dads:
Me - Ok, I love you. Have fun. Be good.
Gabby - These are my last words (as she exits the car, butt still on the seat) *farts*.
What the hell!? In some ways I love it. My sister and I could never have done stuff like that in my family. If we farted it was something you treated very seriously. It was not a laughing matter. You had to say excuse me and move on. I like that Gabby and I have a much sillier relationship. But, I fear that in some ways she's too much like me...like when P-Dub comes over after work as a surprise, walks in the door and she says, "What are yoooouuuu doing here". Such a sweetie.
Wrap Up
So, enough about me. How about you? I feel so out of the blogging loop. I'm catching up today with other blogs I "used" to read on a regular basis. I miss it. It's fun to sit here, yes, with bagel, coffee, and smokes, and give in to my only outlet. And, I miss when I used to write things that were fun and not so filled with angst. I have a felling that a lot of that is behind me now. I like being 32.
At 4pm yesterday, I decided I had had enough of work. I've been working my butt off. Staying late, doing over time on Saturdays, and busting my ass doing everything under the sun. So, I took today off!!! I had planned on taking Gabby to Karate and lounging the day away.
But, who knew? That I would walk into Gabby's room, climb in bed with her, and ask her if she wanted to stay home with me. She nodded yes, eyes still closed. And I just laid next to her, petting her hair. I can't believe how much "grown" children still look like children when they're sleeping. My daughter, with boobs, crushes, and an attitude, still has the same exact face she did when I brought her home at 2 days old when she's sleeping. I have to remember these moments. Especially when I'm yelling for the 5th time at her to do something and she says, 'You don't have to be a freak and yell. I got this." That's why they look so cute sleeping. Otherwise you'd sew their mouths shut.
P-Dub
The most awesome person I have ever met. Who knew it would take kissing many turds to find the exact combo in a man I want. Did you ever think it would be so hard to find someone who is silly and dorky with a great sense of humor AND be completely responsible, dependable, etc? Well, it is...really hard to find that. But, that's what I want...I guess not everyone does. But you should. I like waking up, laughing and talking about silly things, and then he'll say, "Hey, we really need to go get your tail light fixed on your car today." He keeps me "straight" and calm believe it or not. I don't even want to go out drinking anymore. I like curling up, watching Rob & Big or watching nothing while he tries to build a house on the Sims3.
Speaking of which...it took him 3 or 4 hours to build and decorate one room in the house he was building. Can you say OCD? Perfectionist? Sheesh! It drives me INSANE! But really comes in handy sometimes...
Part of the reason I've been working so hard is because of him...I've always been a really hard worker (at work) and I have a really great work ethic (instilled by my mother), but I haven't done "extra" a lot of times in my life. Now I want to. I like having pride in the things I do.
So, we have started going to the gym together. I've tried working out with other people in my life...friends, family, boyfriends...it never works...I usually hate it. But, we're so "relaxed" with each other that it works out great. Plus, he trusts me, listens to me, and believes in me, so it makes it easier to be myself and share something I love so much with him.
Can you say fat?
Yea, I am. And I'm really sick of people, like my doctors, telling me that I need to lose weight to be healthier, but that I do carry it well because I'm tall. Yea, great. That does not help me. But, seriously, I was going through older photos and was really disappointed in myself. I really like being in shape. LOVED it! I go to a new bagel store these days and next door is a personal training office. Everyday weekend I pull up to get a bagel and wish I could work there.
Speaking of which, again, I'm getting really sick of telling people that I want to be a personal trainer and them looking at me like, "REALLY??? That's just stupid". I don't know what the reasoning behind that is. I don't know if it's because that's a side of me that most people don't see, or if most people see that as a stupid job. But I don't care. I would make a great personal trainer. I would make a great manager at work, too, as much as I keep saying that's not what I want. I don't know what happens to me when I'm around people in a "working" environment vs my personal life...but something else takes over. I'm smart, well spoken, helpful, positive, and extremely motivating. I think it's because I just work better when I'm focused and really LOVE something.
Bagels
I used to go to Big Apple Bagels (BAB) right down the street for years and years and years. And then, I kind of got sick of bagels. But, now I know, I'm just sick of BAB bagels. I know this because I could eat Benny's Bagels all day long. The difference is BAB bagels are really, really bready. REALLY thick! And so is the cream cheese. At Benny's, the bagels remind me more of the ones I get when I'm in DC. Not so bready, a little more about the flavor, and the cream cheese is not so thick. My favorite is an Asiago bagel with garlic cream cheese. P-Dub's is an Asiago bagel with Jalapeno cream cheese (yucky). The bagels there are kosher. They're boiled or something. Anyway, I love it. But it's too far away for me to stop before work. Boooooo!
ADHD
I got my medication bumped up and it's working a little better. I notice at work that I'm much more focused, but my doc said that when they get the right dosage I'll know for sure that it's working, so they'll probably be upping the dosage again. I also started taking Prozac. Only 10mg. I really paid attention to my mood one monthg and realized that I'm depressed about 2 weeks out of the month because of my stupid period. Seriously. I turn into a crying, snivelling, irritated, angry bitch. I've notice I pick a fight with P-Dub every time...and with previous relationships as well. I have really noticed a difference with that. This past week I was feeling a little bit down and really tired, but nothing huge...and then I got my period out of nowhere. Well, it wasn't really out of nowhere. I just usually know it's about to happen because of my mood and physical pain. This time I had none of that precursor stuff...so I was surprised. Yay Prozac!
The one thing I do notice about the ADHD medication is that I come crashing down when it wears off. I'll start to have a conversation and I can't even get words out of my mouth. But, that seems to only last for an hour or so and then goes away. I'll have to ask the doc about it.
Gabby
She is not so much a lady. She's a farter. I picked her up from school one day and as she was getting in the car she said:
Gabby - I have to tell you something.
Me - OK
Gabby - Wait, let me get in and close the door.
Me - What, Gabby?
Gabby - *silence* *farts*
Me - That's just great.
And then again last weekend, I was dropping her off at her dads:
Me - Ok, I love you. Have fun. Be good.
Gabby - These are my last words (as she exits the car, butt still on the seat) *farts*.
What the hell!? In some ways I love it. My sister and I could never have done stuff like that in my family. If we farted it was something you treated very seriously. It was not a laughing matter. You had to say excuse me and move on. I like that Gabby and I have a much sillier relationship. But, I fear that in some ways she's too much like me...like when P-Dub comes over after work as a surprise, walks in the door and she says, "What are yoooouuuu doing here". Such a sweetie.
Wrap Up
So, enough about me. How about you? I feel so out of the blogging loop. I'm catching up today with other blogs I "used" to read on a regular basis. I miss it. It's fun to sit here, yes, with bagel, coffee, and smokes, and give in to my only outlet. And, I miss when I used to write things that were fun and not so filled with angst. I have a felling that a lot of that is behind me now. I like being 32.
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