Dysfunction Suits Me

I'm bored, so I thought I'd blog about a few more things, but don't forget to check out the post before this one...it's new too.... One more thing with the A.D.D. On the test I took, I only had to have two "peaks" that were high in order to say I have A.D.D. I had SIX!!! He said my impulsiveness is off the charts. Yea. That makes sense. That's why I interrupt people when they're speaking, I finish people's sentences. I change the subject on conversations before other people are done. I just do and say things without thinking about the consequences. Or, when I type a blog really fast, see the mistakes I've made, and just don't care. I'm taking this very seriously. It's so nice to put a name to something and not just have drugs thrown at me and have people say, "You're just stressed out." Funny how dating P-Dub has been the thing that has made me want to take this seriously and to actually realize how big of ...

Between Facebook and Myspace and here...I never feel like I have time to catch up with everyone. I get over here and have to read 500 blogs that I've missed because I haven't even logged in in forever. I've had a nasty head cold/allergies/or something since last Monday. But I think I'm starting to feel a little better. I had an MRI does this week on my rotator cuff. I've been having the same kind of pain in my shoulder/arm/neck that I used to get when I worked at the IRS...which was diagnosed as Impingement Syndrome and hurt like a mother effer. So, it was time to go see my Orthopedic Specialist again. He wants to make sure I haven't actually torn my rotator cuff and my old MRI's were like 5 years old. I have the follow up on Tuesday to see what the pain is from and what I'm going to do about it. I had another couple of appointments with my new psychologist...and after a bunch of tests, he thinks it is beyond a doubt that I have adult A.D.D. He th...

Star Trek - LOVED it! You don't have to be a Star Trek fan to love it either. Best action movie I've seen since Iron Man . I'm a little biased though...the same guys do the best show of all time LOST. Those guys are awesome at character development! The English Patient - Yea, I just saw it for the first time. Don't know why I never watched it before...it's my kind of movie. LOVED it! Although...at a few points I thought "how the hell long is this movie!!!". Seven Pounds - OMG! I haven't cried...sobbing, heaving, cries...like that since The Color Purple . But now I'm too obsessed and caught up with thinking about the "human experience"...and how most people are just shitheads. Going out to see my friends' Kevin and Andy's band play. A little excited. P-Dub is in Houston this weekend, so I'm pretty much freer than Nelson Mandela. I don't know what that means....

Yesterday P-Dub and I went walking. 30 minutes. Just around my complex. 2 miles. My breathing is really out of control these days. (Have I mentioned I've been researching going to see a Pulminary (sp) specialist?) It felt really great. Then we had dinner, with Gabby, at Jason's Deli...Salad Bar...which was good...and then I couldn't resist and got Tomato Basil soup, but I didn't finish it, and it's only day one. Walking again today after work. I want to try to bring my camera with me this time. Not much interesting going on around the complex, but I keep meaning to use it more and always forget.

Jess mentioned I hadn't given enough info in my last post about my new doc...but don't worry, all the info is in the post before that..."I've been obsessed..." Got hooked up to the machine on Thursday...ideal muscle tension measures at 2.0 or less...a "normal stressed/anxious" person measures around 4 or 5...my muscle tension measured at 15.6! Sweet Sassy Molassey! That's ridiculous! Going to see him again on Friday. Not feeling him very much, and he so got the wrong idea when I told him that taking 500 million strong as hell drugs wasn't working for me. He believes I am "anti-medication". Oh, no, no, no sir! I am not...I am so PRO medication it's sick. I had just wanted to kind of start from scratch. Now he wants me to just listen to his little relaxation CDs and learn to calm myself. I can't even lay still long enough to hear one line of his "my forhead feels heavy and warm" crap. I'm just going to hav...

Preliminary diagnoses is I have mild depression and SEVERE anxiety. We'll see how this goes. This Thursday I'm getting hooked up to a machine to measure my stress levels. I'm stressed about being stressed. :) WTF!! Work is so freakin' hectic I feel like I don't have time for anything else. Not a lot going on. Tomorrow is the season finale of LOST, Thursday I have my doctor's appointment, and Friday, P-Dub and I are driving out to Gruene to meet up with my family for dinner. My sister is graduating, and we are celebrating! Woo Hoo! Gabby's home this weekend...and my pool is closed till June 1...again...WTF!!!???

...with the movie Grey Gardens . You must watch, and then you should do a little background research on the internet. I can't stop. It's scary to me to think that really...this could happen to a lot of women I know...including me. Work is so hectic. It has consumed my life. My every conversation with P-Dub. I'm crying all the time. My can't make myself have good posture. My shoulders are going to permanently be stuck up around my ears I'm so tense. So, I have decided to go see a new therapist...actually instead of a therapist or a psychiatrist, I'm going to try seeing a psychologist. A really good friend of mine just found this amazing doctor, and I can't believe her diagnoses. She and I are so similar in the way we think, feel, etc...we handle things a little differently, but otherwise, very similar. So, her recent diagnoses was yes, she has minor depression, anxiety, and OCP issues, but the main cause is ADD. I sit in awe as she explains her vi...