You're right, Stephanie...

Everything is really good. Too good! I'm in panic mode a little bit. Waiting for the shoe to drop or something. I have never had anything in my life like this. This is exactly the kind of thing I run from because I don't think I deserve it. But, don't worry...I'm trying everyday to get control of myself and realize I do deserve it, and that maybe it won't end horribly...I've had a panic attack everyday this week. But I'm not going to run away. Even if it means I have a panic attack every single day until I can get used to this. If you've read this blog long enough, you know that with my past relationships I don't have a lot of trust, hope, faith, anything left in men...but I'm trying. I never do what's good for me. But I'm 31 years old damn! It's about time I do! I wish I could say more. Maybe I'll have to do the whole invite people to my blog privacy thing so I can.

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DIY Faux Brick Wall with German Schmear

Written February 14, 2021, when I tried to start a WordPress blog , but failed because I'm old and it's too complicated. My estranged (?), separated (?), I don't know what, husband, and I actually worked on this together. I watched 1,000 YouTube videos and read another 1,000 posts on how to do this. In the end, I took a little from here and a little from there. The faux brick paneling was bought from Home Depot. We cut the seams with a Ryobi jigsaw , used liquid nails and a Ryobi nail gun to attach the panels, and used joint compound mixed with a bit of water for the schmear. It's a perfectly, imperfect technique. I practiced a little, but decided to just jump in and let the wall take on a life of it's own. I will warn that the joint compound dries much whiter than you think it will. Use sparingly if you want to see more brick. Once the wall was finished, I painted the other walls Sherwin Williams Perfect Greige . Shelves and floor...

Happy Freakin' New Year

Written January 1, 2021, when I tried to start a Wordpress blog , but failed because I'm old and it's too complicated. 2020 and I had a love/hate relationship. I hated seeing what was happening to others and the world. I dealt with my fair share of struggles, but mostly, I think I was the closest to contentment that I've ever been. 1. I LOVED working from home MOMO working from home 2. I felt closer to my family 3. I didn't mind the slower pace and less to do 4. I was able to have a better work/life balance 5. I felt more productive at home and at work 6. I did a couple of home projects - helped my parents landscape my front yard, gave my bedroom a makeover with my sister, and reorganized my pantry with her Before After Pantry Makeover Bedroom Makeover 7. I spent the best summer with my son and dogs at my sister'shouse - laughing, crying, painting rocks, getting to know my fur nieces and nephews (Wall-E, Maggie, Leeloo, and funny, little, Peyton who we lost in...

Constant Construction

I don't know how non-ADD brains, non-anxiety riddled bodies handle living in this type of chaos, but I can tell you that with ADD and anxiety, this construction chaos paralyzes me. All I want to do is run away and travel instead of just buckling down and getting it completed. It's been years of living in some sort of disarray. That hole in my ceiling has been an ongoing project for nearly 10 years. Something my estranged husband was supposed to handle, but never did. So, I hired a guy from Thumbtack, who got the job done, eventually. He could definitely strengthen his time management skills. Big changes coming for this room. Change is slow to come in this household, but I still hold out hope everyday that it will speed up.

Dysfunction Suits Me

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