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Where to start?

I guess I'll start from the beginning of my "missing" life, and work my way forward...

JC SAGA - He called and wanted to work things out so that we could hang out in the same room with each other and be "friends". We had a bunch of long, emotional conversations, and everything happened really quickly. The next thing I knew he was telling me that he made the biggest mistake of his life, and that he had gotten scared. He tried to just think of all the bad things in our relationship when we weren't together, so that it would be easier on him, but in the end it didn't work. He tried seeing other people, and just couldn't get past "me". I held out for a few weeks, and told him that I just wasn't willing to tell him how I felt about the whole situation because I didn't trust him with my emotions whatsoever. But, in the end, we're back together and "working" on things. We're not making promises because promises make expectations way too high. And, we're both trying to work on our own lives. Of course, there's a lot to be seen...I've really got to see that he's putting forth an effort, and he knows that. There are no guarantees, and hey, this may really not work out in the end, but I want it to, and so does he...and all we can do is try.

There's been a lot of drama with our friends putting their two cents in about how they don't think it's a good idea, but I think we're getting past it. We have to, because ulitimately the only people who have to live with our decision is us. Things have been really great. They've been better than the first couple of glorious months when we first met. So, just keep your fingers crossed for me I guess.

TATTOOS - I got a new tattoo...I got a sea turtle to cover up the prison style tattoo I had done when I was sixteen. On the second weekend that JC and I spent together, there was a tattoo expo, so we went, and we both got tattoos. His is of a Phoenix...you know...symbolizing rebirth and second chances and all that jazz...

SCHOOL/WORK- I'm such a slacker. I've always been one...I've always been a procrastinator. And after the sheer exhaustion that I went through when I was deathly ill, after I got my tonsils taken out, I thought I would go back to normal. But I didn't, and I thought that that was just because I was seriously depressed about JC, but now that things in that department are better, I'm still feeling constantly unmotivated and fatigued. I don't know what it is. I just can't seem to muster up any momentum for anything at all. Even something like shopping makes me super tired after only an hour or so. I just don't think my immune system has built itself back up yet, or what...who knows...I just want to be back to my "normal" slacking self. So, school and work are suffering a little because I just don't have the energy for them. And school, of course, is driving me crazy because I just want it to be over!!! However, at the same time, the thought of ending something that has been my life for nearly 5 years is pretty damn scary. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the "real world", but, Real World, here I come! I have no choice.

GABBY - Gabby is great. She's very awnry and she talks back a lot, but she's such a basically happy, good kid...I'm so lucky. She turned 8 on March 11. I can't believe she's this big! I have to buy her new clothes like every two weeks because she just keeps out growing everything! She's still going to karate twice a week.

JESSICA/ERIC - Jessica and Eric arrived in San Antonio on Thursday night. They were exhausted, and Eric hit the hay pretty early. Jessica and I went and picked JC up from work, and then the three of us spent time out on the porch drinking bottle of wine after bottle of wine.

Friday we headed downtown and did the whole Riverwalk thing. Eric wanted to try out every crispy beef taco he could get his hands on. Thursday night he had Taco Cabana, Friday morning he had Las Palapas, and then we all went to Cha Cha's on Friday for more tacos, and of course, a couple of margaritas. We did the boat tour on the Riverwalk, and then went to take pictures in front of the Alamo. Friday night we went to JC's restaurant for dinner. Friday was also St. Patrick's Day. Eric and Jessica were pretty tired again, so they went back to their hotel, and I went out to Charlie Brown's for karaoke and St. Patrick's Day partying. Andrea had been out of town for a week, and I severly missed her, so it was really good seeing her this night.

Saturday we went shopping and got pedicures. Saturday night we stopped by a pool place and Andrea and Eric played pool while Jessica and I watched. Then we headed over to the Bitter End for some live music. Andy and JC showed up later, and I had a blast! I don't know about anyone else, but I certainly did.

Sunday we met up for coffee with an old friend who used to be the secretary at mine and Jessica's high school. Then Jessica and Eric headed out to a drive through "express" zoo. They came back and we hung out with Gabby at my apartment for a little while.

Monday we got up had lunch at Cha Cha's again, complete with margaritas, and then went to a place that Jessica and I used to hang out with our friends in high school. It's like a "fun" place with minature golf and go carts and stuff. Then it was off to the airport.

I'm probably leaving a lot out, there was other stuff going on, but this is the condensed version. I'm sure Jess will have more to say on her blog. It was good getting to hang out with them, and show Eric around San Antonio. I also got to spend a lot of great quality time with JC...a lot more than we are used to being able to spend together. Now...life goes back to normal, and I really, really need to step it up. I'm applying for some jobs in Austin, and I don't really want to move, but we'll see what happens.

I'll post some pictures later, but with my stupid dial-up internet, I'm really tired of uploading pictures the last couple of days. It just takes too damn long. You can go over to my MySpace profile though...there are some up on there already.

Oh, and I dyed my hair. It's still red...just a brighter, shinier, redder version of red. I like it alot, but I'm gonna give it up for the summer because it's just too much to deal with (expensive, too) with the amount of time that I spend in the pool and in the sun.

Comments

Jacq said…
I am so glad you're working things out in your life!

And the color looks beautiful!!!
I'm so glad, too! It's hard not to get caught up in "things", and to really work on making things better, and doing it the RIGHT way, but it's worth it...

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