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"[Lizzie's] back...back again..."

Warning . . . LONG POST

My one-year blog anniversary is almost here. So, that means I'm also back to the kind of lifestyle I was leading a year ago . . . not working and being able to blog on a regular basis. I have 9 hours left until I graduate, so i decided to take the entire summer off from school for the first time in 4 years. There will be a whole lot of bloggin' going on, because, trust me I will be very bored. Or . . . maybe not. Last year I didn't have Obi-Wan to go see everyday. I won't be waiting around for an email from the AOC all day. I can get up early, get back into going to the gym, (it's been a month and a 1/2, people, and I've only been to the gym 3 times) and then I can come home shower and go hang out with my boyfriend until I have to pick up Gabby. My last real summer before it's time for me to become a "real" adult. I just turned 28 and I'm torn between feeling really old (my boyfriend afterall is only going to be 23 in a few days), and feeling not old enough . . . or at least not wanting to be older.

I guess I'm playing catch up today:

Thursday night was the Spurs championship game. I went out and watched the game at a bar with everyone. I was leaving for Florida the next day. I had to be at the airport by 7am, and I still hadn't packed. We closed down the bar around 3am, and I decided I should not even attempt going to bed. That maybe wasn't the smartest thing for me to do. Around 430am, I tearfully said goodbye to Obi-Wan, and headed home. Josh got to my apartment around 630, and I lost it. The combination of wanting to stay with Obi-Wan, being tired and drunk and hungover at the same time just made me a monster. Then Josh shows up and he's talking really loud and turning on the TV, and not giving me a moment to make sure I had gotten everything, and I went mad. I got to the airport finding that my wrist had swelled up and was becoming bruised and hurt like hell because I was slamming stuff around and I think I hit Josh on the top of his shoulder. I really don't know how I did it, but I got on the plane thinking my uncle (who was picking me up) was going to have to take me straight the the emergency room.

Friday morning I boarded the plane thinking I was going to be able to catch up on sleep. WRONG. I got stuck in a center seat (Southwest is much better for being able to pick your seat than American!). Two of the largest men were seated right next to me. There was no sleeping going on. I changed planes in Dallas, and this time I had a window seat, but I still had one big ass man sitting next to me who took up both armrests, and spread his legs as far as he could. Needless to say, any amount of sleep I got was pretty much worthless. My uncle picked me up in Florida and dropped me off at my hotel. I was missing Obi-Wan like crazy. My family hadn't arrived yet, and I was so completely lonely and bored, and didn't know what to do with myself. That evening my uncle took me to dinner with some of his friends that had flown in for his party. We went to a really cool place, and I did have a good time even though all my uncle's friends (6 or 7 of them) were women who were not under the age of 60. I didn't think I would be able to smoke on this trip because of family and stuff, but one of those older women hooked me up and took me for a "walk" on the beach. We had a really cute waiter who I could tell was confused by my presence with these older women and one older man. He kept sitting down next to me and kind of whispering, "Are you ok? You sure? Would you like another beer?" By 9pm I'd had it. I'd been up all night, I had had like 2 cigarettes all day (mostly due to the fact that I didn't have matches or a lighter thanks to all the new airline rules . . . bastards!). I was wasted and crawled into bed, and according to Obi-Wan I was sobbing on the phone during most of our three conversations through out the night.

Saturday morning I woke up after about 12 hours of sleep, and I still didn't know what to do with myself. It was kind of cloudy out, and I wasn't sure about venturing out to the beach alone. I went down to grab some food, and noticed three of my new older lady friends sitting poolside. I ran up to my room, threw on my bathing suit, and sat in the sun with them laughing and smoking. My family arrived later in the day. Everyone was grumpy from driving and I was getting a little mad and frustrated that they weren't enjoying the day as much as I was. I took Gabby down the beach which she had never seen before. When you first have children they have a lot of firsts that I have realized keep you bonding with them on a constant basis . . . first words, crawling, walking, etc. Then they kind of get to an age where there really aren't any more "firsts". When I took Gabby out to the beach, just the two of us, I really felt like I reconnected with my beautiful daughter. She was so excited and would squeal in delight everytime a wave hit her, and she wasn't afraid at all, she was just plain happy . . . and so was I.

Sunday morning was my birthday and the day of the my uncle's birthday party that we were there for. I still didn't have a lighter, and I woke up at 6 in the morning and just couldn't sleep anymore. I woke Gabby up and we walked to the convient store together. We came back to the hotel, had breakfast together, and then we headed out to the beach and picked up seashells. Gabby picked up too many of them and we had to go up to the room to get her bucket. While there we decided to just throw on our swimming gear and head out to the beach. Gabby and I were on the beach, just the two of us, by 7am. It was some of the most awesome hours I have ever spent with her. I really remembered why it was that I wanted to be a mother in the first place. We spent the day on the beach and then got ready for the party. A BMW stretch limo arrived to take my whole family there. It was pretty decent. Then we went to dinner afterwards for my birthday. All in all not such a bad way to spend my birthday, even though most of the people were there to celebrate my uncle's unpcoming 70th birthday.

Monday morning Gabby and I were on the beach again by 7am. My parents, Gabby, sister, and brother-in-law all started their drives back home, and I headed to the airport to come home to Obi-Wan. I was actually having a really good vacation, but I was missing him like crazy. Josh picked me up at the airport (I'm so lucky to have such a great friend), and I came home to shower and change, and then headed out to a bar to meet up with Mi-Mi, Mr. Incredible, and Obi-Wan. We were both shaking like little lap dogs when we saw each other. We are so freaking sappy that maybe it really is disgusting, or maybe we just really are madly in love. Obi-Wan gave me two pink roses and a really great card for my birthday, and inside the card was a "gift certificate" that said he would pay for mine and Gabby's dinner at the restaurant he works out. Which is really sweet because our plan is for him to meet Gabby there while he's in costume . . . so, it was a really sweet birthday gift because he really wants to meet her, and I've been a little worried about him being younger, and not involved with children, etc.
Tuesday I spent the morning with him, and we made plans to go tubing on Wednesday, which I will probably give the details on tomorrow . . . because, yes, I went tubing, and I am so proud of myself for conquering my fears. I miss Obi-Wan so much when I'm away from him, and I don't like sleeping alone anymore (well, I do sleep with Gabby, but it's not the same!). So, I have to wait until the weekend, and then I get to spend almost 5 days straight with him. I know this newness may eventually wear off, but for now I just want to relish every freaking minute of it because it may wear off, and I want to be able to remember all these feelings that I don't think I've ever had before.

Comments

Jessiedc28 said…
I'm so happy for you and your new social life. It's like you're a whole new person now!
Anonymous said…
bella fiore, I am sorry to say that i am not your friend who left the message on yuor voice mail. If I knew your number I would called and told you in person. As for Amore....enjoy every minute of it while you can...introduction of childis a big step a huge one...you should if you fell comfortable about that choice you are making..foe one as parents we never want our children involed in our love life...we have to know it in our hearts that person meeting my child is the one i will be with for a long time..i'd that hate fact that you introduce a person to your child and next thing you know they are gone for what ever reason...just give it time if you are meant to be with him... he should understand and respect your choice, besides what more can he ask for.. you give plenty of time.. he should just thank you for giving so much time of your self...i made that mistake of introducing my child and what happend next it ened with that person and my chid kept asking so I as a parent had think of an excuse to give to my child... next time it won't happen like that again.. you are very welcome for the compliments that i leave.. my question to you do you understand italian???? capisci italiano? tu bambina bella e crescente grande...
Jessie - Me too Me too! Not sure it's me being a "new" person, or just actually feeling comfortable, and being myself!

Anon - so where is it I know you from then? I have it all worked out with my daughter, and I am handling it very slowly. I don't understand Italien, but Babel Fish helps.;)
Jessiedc28 said…
Who is the Italian chick?!

I think those pictures of Gabby are SO CUTE! I think that one of her with her claws out could be entered in to a photo contest!
I love the pic of her tying her boogie board to her wrist.

I think it's an Italian male, but we'll see if I ever get to find out who it is . . . *wink wink*

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