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Men really do kind of suck sometimes.

I had a "semi-date" the other night. It was more of a "friendly" get together. This friend of mine "J", went to school with me, and then moved away to get his Master's. Well, he's back in town. He'll be moving to Austin soon to get his doctorate's. We met up the other night to catch up, and grab a beer. Well...let me explain more...we've always had a little bit of a flirtation thing going on. We've been flirting back and forth through email for the last 2 years. So, at the end of the "date" he walked me to my car, and kissed me. And it was one of the best kisses I've ever had, only because it was really sweet, and a great end to a great time. And with that he said, "I'll call you tomorrow."

So, he didn't call, but we did email back and forth all the next morning, and I thought things were pretty good. And, we had plans to go out downtown on New Year's Eve, which was also his birthday. And then...he stood me up! Yes, he did! Not even a phone call! Not even a sucky text message!

A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER! He sent me this email...

Hey Liz,

Sorry about New Years, I was really down and wanted to be alone for the night. I just took a drive and did some thinking. I didn't mean to stand you up. When I get this way I don't communicate well with others and I can't be around anybody.

Pretyy lame, right? I don't know what happened, I don't know if he's telling me the truth or not. And the weird thing is that on New Year's Eve, I was pretty upset...but then I wasn't...probably not as upset as I should have been. I think probably because I'm less likely to put up with any amount of bullshit these days...and maybe I'm just seriously not ready for anything serious...but I wasn't looking for that anyway...I mean he's moving to Austin! It's not that far...but far enough. I just really liked the attention...and it was fun...and he was a good friend. I don't know where to go from here though. Do I never speak to him again?

He has sent me another email since trying to explain the situation more. I get it...men are just not strong enough emotionally...they shut down. Completely down when something is too overwhelming to them. And that is what makes women the "stronger" sex. Our ability to deal with overwhelming, depressing as hell shit, on a daily basis. So, if he's telling the truth, I understand...but that doesn't excuse him from being so inconsiderate he couldn't even send me a text message saying, "Hey, I'm not gonna make it...you should go ahead with your other plans."

Being single is kind of great...dating sucks.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Let him off the hook-he obviously has way too many issues. You should respond--"hey I learned long ago that men can't be trusted...but I thought you were better than that-I thought your were more than a man, I thought you were my friend. Friends don't break plans without letting each other know why-even if the reason is lame-friends understand."
3:12 PM
Jacq said…
Amen to that! Men seem to not be strong emotionally the way we are. Sometimes, a date is just a date. Why make it into anything more and complicate life?

When it's right, you'll know it, Elizabeth. Until then HAVE FUN!

By the way: Happy New Year!
10:19 PM
stephanie said…
I agree, if he was your friend, he could've somehow contacted you to let you know the plans were off. Just because he didn't do that shows a lot about his character.
10:05 AM
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