Skip to main content
Did you know the Tooth Fairy is a drunken, partying whore?

A few weeks before Christmas I took Gabby to the dentist who informed us that about 6 of her teeth were loose at the same time. I told Gabby that she was absolutely not allowed to wiggle them until after Christmas so she wouldn't have a big gaping hole in her mouth for her Christmas pictures.

It's been what? two months since then. The teeth have started to fall out. The first one fell out in the middle of the week. It was one of her bottom canines. She woke up in the morning and showed me the hole. But, um, we couldn't find the tooth. We still haven't found the tooth. I'm pretty sure she swallowed it. That can't be good for her. I was surprised that this particular tooth fell out first since one of her top incisors was hanging on by a thread for a week! Even the Bagel Lady knew about this tooth. Every morning she would question Gabby on whether or not she still had her tooth.

We were scheduled to go shopping with my mom a couple of Saturdays ago. Gabby keeps wanting to show me how loose her tooth is, but I just can't bring myself to look at it. We stopped to get bagels. The Bagel Lady asked again if her tooth had fallen out yet. Gabby pushed her tooth forward with her tongue and closed her lips, her tooth sticking out between them, and then replied, "Nope".

We got to my parent's house and Gabby showed them her little trick - stickng the loose tooth between her lips when they're closed. This earned her the nickname of "Bucky" by my dad. For the rest of the day she was known as "Bucky" and laughed histarically whenever we said it . . . ahhh . . . the simplicity of childhood.

We shopped, and then stopped to eat in the food court. Gabby took one bite and her tooth started bleeding uncontrollably, and she was dabbing at it with a napkin. My mom was sitting across from her and having to be the "adult". I couldn't look at Gabby without feelings of throwing up. Then we really would have had a mess. Then my mom mentioned that I might have to pick her up off the floor. What a real mess that would have been! Gabby bleeding, me throwing up, and mom - passed out on the floor in the mall (this has happened before with my sister, by the way). We had had enough of shopping by this point and decided to just get Gabby home.

Later that evening, Josh brought us Chik-fil-A, and Gabby came running in saying that she took a bite of chicken and then felt something weird in her mouth - her tooth finally came out. We stuck it under her pillow and eventually went to bed. I never knew how exhausting a loose tooth could make the whole family. Bucky was extremely excited about getting some money from the tooth fairy.

The next morning Gabby woke up, and found that her tooth was still under her pillow, and there wasn't any money. She said, "Look mom, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??" I felt so horrible! How could I have forgotten to play the tooth fairy. This led me on to an elaborate story of how it was Saturday night, and the Tooth Fairy was probably out really late, and taking a vacation, and then she probably had to be up early for Sunday morning church to repent . . . I realized at this point that if Gabby was any older she might realize that I just made the Tooth Fairy into a drunken, partying whore. Needless to say, we tried again Sunday night, and Monday morning Gabby got her $1. Yes, only a dollar.

I told my mom what had happended and she said that when that would happen she would just sneak into our rooms and put the money on the floor to make it looked like it had fallen out of the bed! Did you know about this, Carolyn??

Comments

Jammie J. said…
A DOLLAR!!! Man, I got jipped. I only ever got quarters, nickels and dimes. Sheez.
I know. Me too. Inflation, Hon, inflation.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Just Me said…
This is hilarious. I always knew there was something wrong with the tooth fairy, now it all make sense she is a drunken whore.
Anonymous said…
Can the tooth fairy come to my bachelor party?
Jessiedc28 said…
You should have given you more since you lied. Liar.
Kaycee said…
We really screwed ourselves,Matthew had been wiggling this tooth all day and we didn't think to get change, then at 1:00 a.m., Matthew wakes me up with his tooth in his hand. Well I waited till he went to sleep to put money under his pillow, but all we had was a 5, so that is what he got. Since it was "luckily" his last molar, we told him because it was his last "BIG TOOTH", the tooth fairy gave him more! Otherwise we would have started a president we couldn't afford. Oh, and I always got a dollar. I think its cause my parents loved me more! J/K

Popular posts from this blog

Pretty Decent Weekend

I went out Friday night, and....I met someone. We really, really hit it off. I think some of you who know me really well would be shocked at how good looking he is. His name is Paul, he's 29, and he's only been in San Antonio for about a week. Anyway, we talked all night, I drank a little too much, and so did he, so the night didn't actually end that well because there was an argument between him and Andrea. I thought he was a little rude, and also maybe he would be scared off. But we were texting last night, and we're going to meet up next Friday. I really do think he should apologize to Andrea first though. Although, I'm so green with this dating thing...I almost think that's too much to ask when you're getting to know someone. I don't know, you tell me. Saturday I pretty much did nothing but recover. And then Sunday, Andrea, Gabby, and I went hiking. We did a Level 4 out of 5 trail for an hour and a half. I'm not sure how many miles it...

Busy!!!

This weekend was jammed pack with errands and stuff. I played the Sims3 for about 5 hours on Saturday, and other than that, I never really got to sit still. I took my car in on Saturday because it was shaking horribly whenever I got up 60mph. Ended up having to get 4 new tires and an alignment. Sunday, P-Dub and I went to Joshy's house and stole his couch. He's moving and gave me his old sectional. I LOVE it! P-Dub went to his dad's for dinner and I stayed home and nested. Cleaned, rearranged. Love it! Gabby had to stay at her dad's one more night since I didn't get my car back until today. P-Dub spent the night so he could take me to work. He played the Sims3 and I read my new book. It was so domestic and sweet. I knew I wasn't crazy when I took off Friday from work. I'm working way too hard. Because I have to. Really shouldn't say too much about my job here, so I'll just say that I've been doing too much...alone. And it's kil...

2 More Days!!!

Gabby and I get on a plane that leaves at 5:30am on Friday to head to DC to be with Jessica, Eric, and the new dog. I can't wait! Gabby's never been! And she was too little the last time she was on a plane to remember it. Exciting! Last week, Jess' friend Deannie was in San Antonio. We met up for dinner and drinks. Love ya, Deannie!