Dysfunction Suits Me

When I saw the pictures we took on our hike up and around Enchanted Rock...I wanted to cry and decided I wasn't going to post them...ANYWHERE! Decided I couldn't bear for anyone to see me at the heaviest I've ever been...well the heaviest minus the 15 lbs. I've lost. Then I got angry. At myself. I lost 70 lbs. at one time and then gained back 90! How did I let this happen??!! I have the opposite problem of an anorexic. When I look in the mirror I tend to see someone smaller than what they really are. So, seeing those pictures was a big wake up call. A huge motivator. Now that I'm feelilng more motivated and completely inspired to be in as great shape as I was around 2003-2005, I'm ok with posting these photos. This is what I look like at this point in my life. I'm learning to love myself no matter what. AND...I promise I will not look like this for long! That's a huge promise to myself!

Yesterday at the gym Ray Ray excitedly announced that we were going to do a circuit he lovingly called the "Leg Crank". I won't bore you with the details, but basically I may never walk again. So, as if I hadn't already paid someone to torture me, tomorrow is Andrea's birthday celebration...and to celebrate we are going hiking. Yes, hiking UP Enchanted Rock. I hope someone really strong is planning on attending because I might seriously need a piggy-back back down the rock. If I make it through the hike...Sunday will definitely be the day I try to roll out of bed and can't even stand.

Our invitations arrived in the mail today. They look even better in person. P-Dub and I opened them up together and were very pleased. I informed him, "Once we send these out, it would be very embarrassing if you backed out." He responded, "I was going to tell you the same thing."

So...my True Romance? blog is just gone. I get an error every time I try to access it. I've sent an email with the error to the support team and haven't heard anything. Maybe having two blogs was too much to keep up with anyway. The only thing nice about it was that it was private, so I could talk about P-Dub all I wanted without being cryptic. We did a lot this past weekend, even though I was sick. We did a cake tasting, ordered our invitations and then had a consult with a florist. FLOWERS ARE DAMN EXPENSIVE! Oh, and we looked at wedding bands...it was really easy. I know exactly what I want...just a plain band to match the band on my engagement ring. So, that's pretty much done. P-Dub found a ring he likes right away, too. This Saturday I'm meeting P- Dub's best friend and best man for the first time...how is it possible I've never met him before? Well, he lives in Austin...and, well, maybe P- Dub's secretly embarrassed by me. Maybe he's scared I...