Dysfunction Suits Me

Tonight I will be bringing in the new year with my sister, fiance and friends at Andrea's house. My last New Year's Eve being single. I will never worry about having a date fir this night again! ;)

When I saw the pictures we took on our hike up and around Enchanted Rock...I wanted to cry and decided I wasn't going to post them...ANYWHERE! Decided I couldn't bear for anyone to see me at the heaviest I've ever been...well the heaviest minus the 15 lbs. I've lost. Then I got angry. At myself. I lost 70 lbs. at one time and then gained back 90! How did I let this happen??!! I have the opposite problem of an anorexic. When I look in the mirror I tend to see someone smaller than what they really are. So, seeing those pictures was a big wake up call. A huge motivator. Now that I'm feelilng more motivated and completely inspired to be in as great shape as I was around 2003-2005, I'm ok with posting these photos. This is what I look like at this point in my life. I'm learning to love myself no matter what. AND...I promise I will not look like this for long! That's a huge promise to myself!

Yesterday at the gym Ray Ray excitedly announced that we were going to do a circuit he lovingly called the "Leg Crank". I won't bore you with the details, but basically I may never walk again. So, as if I hadn't already paid someone to torture me, tomorrow is Andrea's birthday celebration...and to celebrate we are going hiking. Yes, hiking UP Enchanted Rock. I hope someone really strong is planning on attending because I might seriously need a piggy-back back down the rock. If I make it through the hike...Sunday will definitely be the day I try to roll out of bed and can't even stand.

Our invitations arrived in the mail today. They look even better in person. P-Dub and I opened them up together and were very pleased. I informed him, "Once we send these out, it would be very embarrassing if you backed out." He responded, "I was going to tell you the same thing."

So...my True Romance? blog is just gone. I get an error every time I try to access it. I've sent an email with the error to the support team and haven't heard anything. Maybe having two blogs was too much to keep up with anyway. The only thing nice about it was that it was private, so I could talk about P-Dub all I wanted without being cryptic. We did a lot this past weekend, even though I was sick. We did a cake tasting, ordered our invitations and then had a consult with a florist. FLOWERS ARE DAMN EXPENSIVE! Oh, and we looked at wedding bands...it was really easy. I know exactly what I want...just a plain band to match the band on my engagement ring. So, that's pretty much done. P-Dub found a ring he likes right away, too. This Saturday I'm meeting P- Dub's best friend and best man for the first time...how is it possible I've never met him before? Well, he lives in Austin...and, well, maybe P- Dub's secretly embarrassed by me. Maybe he's scared I

I'm trying to relax out on the patio and this kid on the tennis courts keeps screaming! I just want him to shut up! I remember what it was like having a little one, so I'm trying to be sympathetic, but just take your kid inside for goodness sakes! The whole world doesn't want to hear your screaming kid!

Nothing besides wedding planning going on...and work...and a fire in my apartment complex.

P-Dub, Gabby and I are in Virgini at Jessie's house. Going to the beach house tomorrow.

Sleeping

...because I HATE the keyboard that came with our new computer!

I've been doing all my wedding planning blogging on True Romance? Just can't do it on this site yet...the other one's private. If you want to read, shoot me an email at gara_tx23@yahoo.com . Other than wedding planning...I've been working out with Ray Ray the Killer again - twice a week. I've lost ten pounds, but you can't really tell, yet. I suppose all brides-to-be say they're going to lose weight. I wonder how many actually do! I'm at the point where I want to keep working out, but just say screw it and try on dresses anyway. This is who I am. Other than that...just work. Gabby's spending some time with my mom for the summer and they're going to Colorado in a week. Should be fun for her to visit with family. We've also been spending every weekend at the pool. I bought a giant hat and 50 SPF. I'm getting a tan, but really trying hard not to get burnt. I've had way too much sun in my life!

We've been busy trying to find a place to get married and have reception. So far we've toured two places. One was a maybe and the other was a definite no. We have another appointment on Saturday. Wish us luck!

P-Dub thought the Bruno Mars song "Catch a Grenade For Ya" was about the Jersey Shore. Like he'd catch a "grenade" for his bro! Too funny.

In California this weekend for my great grandmother's 100th birthday. Partied a little too much last night with the family and very tired, having a great time. Can't stop looking at my engagement ring! ;)

Last night P-Dub asked me to marry him...and I said yes! Details on True Romance?

About a month after P-Dub moved in, I decided it was about time I quit smoking in the apartment, and since then I haven't! P-Dub hung these little lanterns for me on the patio...where I spend a lot of time now...with my wooden wind chimes and bird feeder. Makes me not feel so banished! LOL!

Mo tries to climb as high as Apache, but he can barely get onto his back feet. This is why we don't leave the patio door open very often.

Once upon a time I was in pretty good shape. Lost a whole 70 lbs. I have gained back 90. :(. So, I signed back up at the gym, told Ray Ray the Killer (my old trainer) to give me 30 days, and then I'm signing back up with him. Problem is I can't get the 30 days under way. I feel like such a loser! Blah!

Yes, I might. I have many hobbies. If I wanted I could crochet, scrapbook, do some genealogy research, scan in and correct family photos, etc., but I don't wanna. Nothing sounds appealing. I'm dying of boredom and all P- Dub says is call your doctor. Is there a cure? I doubt it! Why won't he entertain me? Why can't I entertain myself?! BLAH!

Mo gets a bath from Black Hawk

Oh my gosh, he was little! Stay tuned...he gets much MUCH bigger.

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