Skip to main content

Being honest with myself...

I can sit here, and sound really self-righteous sometimes...and very together...and the truth is that a lot of the time I'm just plain lonely and struggling. I've never thought that I was the kind of person that could spend my life without a relationship...even though I know I CAN, I'm not sure I want to...it's such a hard place that I'm in right now...past a lot of hurt...but still feeling quite tender a lot of the time. I guess sometimes it just takes longer to be completely over things. Boy, I'm rambling here. What's my point? I've kind of forgotten it....

I guess it's that I am starting to miss being in a relationship...but...I still really want to concentrate on me. And losing weight...my biggest struggle is number one on the list...I've got the depression and anxiety under control for the most part...I've got the career thing under way...I've been concentrating and putting a lot of energy into fixing what's on the inside...but definitely not a lot of time on the outside. I've really, really let myself go...

One day at a time...I can do this. I did it once before. Mind over bread. I will do this.

Comments

stephanie said…
I am rooting for you!!!
9:29 AM
Jacq said…
I've found that the best times of my life were when I was getting used to being on my own, and all the lessons I learned from that experience. Just when you're content with you life, that's when "IT" happens!!!!

Enjoy the wonderful time you have for yourself as you recognize your worth! You deserve it!!!!!

Listen to the voice of reason! I've been there! Take it easy on yourself. You know how hard you work to make everything better and to be a good mom, daughter and friend.
8:32 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Am I Going To Die? I just got stung for the first time ever by a wasp . . . So far so good . . . I can still breathe, I haven't swelled up like a balloon, yet . . . But it hurts and itches like crazy!!! It's almost the end of the semester and I am completely swamped! Two projects, two papers, and three finals, all in the next 3 weeks . . . Somehow I'll handle it. I've actually all of sudden "woken up" where school is concerned. I've been in such a daze for like the last 7 or 8 months. The AOC has changed my life as I knew it . . . in good and bad ways!!! Bad because he takes up too much of my thoughts . . . and I need all the brain capacity that I can get!!! Somehow, after years of barely even talking to anyone at work, and only a couple of years of actually being a little more friendly with my co-workers, I seem to have been sucked up in "office politics" and I HATE it! I used to really like going to work . . . now I just want to quit!! It still...
6 comments
Read more
Time to Share? I have a huge crush. I have a huge crush on a man I've never met in person. I have a huge crush on a man who does things that are very cool. Yesterday in the mail I got the book that he sent me...the book that he wrote...a book about all of his travels and adventures. The more I read this book, the less confident I start to feel about this being a possible "match". I have no idea what I can offer this older, more sophisticated, more worldly man. The biggest adventures in my life are grappling with 18-year old freshmen for a parking space at school, finishing a set of push-ups and pull-ups at the gym, or wrestling my daughter to the ground for a bath. Maybe I can teach him all about Sponge-Bob Square Pants? This is again one of those times where things seem too good to be true. The emails we send back and forth would suggest that there is a great interest and curiosity on both sides, and that something really good could possibly come from this!!! His ...
10 comments
Read more
Has anyone ever told you you look like . . . ? If I have to hear someone tell me one more time that I look like Ann Margaret...I will SCREAM...or worse yet, Fergie!!! The only thing I have in common with these two women is the color of my hair!!! What was the other one I've heard?...Julianne Moore (or however it's spelled). I realize there aren't that many redheads in the world...and I realize that some people have this overwhelming need to compare the way people look to someone famous...but PLEASE!!!???...don't just go by the color of someone's hair
6 comments
Read more