I don't usually speak to my father about things. I always talk to my mom. But I'm at my parent's house and my mom wasn't here, and I was having a bad moment. So, my dad hugged me and talked to me. And I told him how it really upsets me that I don't have a choice in what's going on right now, and he said simply that I do. I can choose to be happy and alive, and in good health, and living up to my standards...or I can choose to be upset, remain where I am, continue to underachieve in my pursuit of happiness. I think it's so much easier for men to turn off the "hurt", but I really appreciated it. It makes so much sense, right? Now I just have to put it in practice.
Speaking of DADs...JC's dad called me out of nowhere today. He hasn't heard from JC in a while, and I guess he was worried so he called me to ask if I had seen him lately. So...it was up to me to have to tell him what was going on. I'm not sure if it's excuses he was giving for JC, or if he was just being intelligent, realistic, and a man about his viewpoint. But he said that he wasn't a very good example for JC, and that JC is young, and that his horrible ADD makes it hard for him to stick through anything. His dad said he was surprised JC had a kept a job for 5 years. And he said that JC is prone to these depression slumps that cause him to basically kick everyone out of his life that he truly cares about...like he was doing to his dad as well. They are all excuses I guess. His dad said that he had asked JC over and over again if he knew what he was doing with Gabby and me...if he knew himself well enough to be getting this serious...because he's always been worried about Gabby...and JC just kept saying yes. Then he said he was so sorry I had to get caught up in this mess while JC is trying to find himself...and then he said JC was calling him on the other line. He said I'd give you a big hug and a kiss if I was there, and I'm so sorry. And then he went to tend to his son.
I know why JC did all the things he did. I know as well if not better than his dad did. And a part of me feels bad because I do know him so well, and I know that he's seriously floundering, and he doesn't know any other way to deal with it than to act out and do things that he will seriously regret at some point. It's not an excuse. I just know him.
But, fortunately or unfortunately that doesn't do me any good. So, I choose to be happy. I choose to be more cautious. I choose to live my life like everyday is my last. I choose not to let this make me a cynical mean person in future relationships. And I choose to know, everyday, that the sun is shining, even behind the clouds. (Another part of my dad's advice).
Don't forget to send me an email if you want to keep reading... gara_tx23@yahoo.com
Speaking of DADs...JC's dad called me out of nowhere today. He hasn't heard from JC in a while, and I guess he was worried so he called me to ask if I had seen him lately. So...it was up to me to have to tell him what was going on. I'm not sure if it's excuses he was giving for JC, or if he was just being intelligent, realistic, and a man about his viewpoint. But he said that he wasn't a very good example for JC, and that JC is young, and that his horrible ADD makes it hard for him to stick through anything. His dad said he was surprised JC had a kept a job for 5 years. And he said that JC is prone to these depression slumps that cause him to basically kick everyone out of his life that he truly cares about...like he was doing to his dad as well. They are all excuses I guess. His dad said that he had asked JC over and over again if he knew what he was doing with Gabby and me...if he knew himself well enough to be getting this serious...because he's always been worried about Gabby...and JC just kept saying yes. Then he said he was so sorry I had to get caught up in this mess while JC is trying to find himself...and then he said JC was calling him on the other line. He said I'd give you a big hug and a kiss if I was there, and I'm so sorry. And then he went to tend to his son.
I know why JC did all the things he did. I know as well if not better than his dad did. And a part of me feels bad because I do know him so well, and I know that he's seriously floundering, and he doesn't know any other way to deal with it than to act out and do things that he will seriously regret at some point. It's not an excuse. I just know him.
But, fortunately or unfortunately that doesn't do me any good. So, I choose to be happy. I choose to be more cautious. I choose to live my life like everyday is my last. I choose not to let this make me a cynical mean person in future relationships. And I choose to know, everyday, that the sun is shining, even behind the clouds. (Another part of my dad's advice).
Don't forget to send me an email if you want to keep reading... gara_tx23@yahoo.com
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